Things I've Learned

I've been a mom for over 2 years now, almost 3 if you count those 9 months before Ainsley was born. I thought I'd reflect on some things I've learned, and maybe some things I hope to learn SOON!

1. Patience truly is a virtue, and one that I unfortunately REALLY have to work on.

If I counted the number of times that I've had to count to 10 to keep myself from blowing up at Ainsley it'd be, well WAY more than 10. But the more I practice it, the easier it gets. I just keep reminding myself that she's only 2, she can't reason with me, she's stubborn, and again, SHE'S TWO! And the best part? I am usually rewarded by my patience because it seems to rub off on her. If I can set the example of keeping my cool, she gets the idea, most of the time.

2. Spend more money now, less later.

We bought the GOOD cloth diapers, quality stroller(s), crib, fleeces for spring and fall, glass bottles, and shoes, really really good shoes. It's been TOTALLY worth it. So far we've had to by very little for Louise. Of course we have bought some things, clothes in sizes we didn't have from Ainsley, and some new onesies as Ainsley decimated all her hers with barf. Other than that though we're set! I'm SO thankful not to have to buy another set of cloth diapers (I love Bum Genius!) or any of the more costly baby staples. I've found that in general it's worth it to spend a little more right now on the things that you know you'll use again, or use HARD, and have them last, rather than spend less initially and then end up replacing the item down the road.

P.S. I LOVE consignment stores for clothes and shoes. I've found a lot of new things, name brand things, and things that have been well used and held up (not to mention adorably unique things). Not a bad budget solution all around.

3. Pick your battles, seriously, you HAVE to pick.

Sadly, you can't and WON'T win every battle (both Ian and I have learned this the hard way). Decide what's important to you and stick to your guns. Example: Ainsley has NEVER sat for dinner. She is not a big eater to start with and by the end of her day just has had enough. I grew up in a family where you sat at the table until everyone was finished and always had to asked to be excused, Ian's was the same way. We have learned that we can't force Ainsley to sit, short of strapping her into her "baby" high chair which she HATES!. Our new rule is she has to eat 2 bites of each kind of food on her plate (because she's two) and then if she's full she may ask to get down. I never thought I'd allow my child to roam and play while we're still eating but it's either that or listen to her scream. We choose enjoying our meal.

On the flip side: A new battle I've chosen is making Ainsley TRY to go the the bathroom whenever we're leaving the house or before bedtimes. She does not like being forced, but it's either that or risk an accident while out (nothing strikes more fear in my hear than hearing "Mama, Ainsley go potties!" while in the cart at Trader Joe's with no public restroom in sight). I calmly tell her she may go herself or I will help her. She always chooses to go herself, and so far standing firm has worked.

4. Be creative, but be prepared and be in the right mood.

I go WAY overboard with activities sometimes. I'll try to paint while making lunch and folding a load of laundry. I've learned that if I want to do something involved I need to be focused (and hopefully have Louise either occupied or asleep). It's really important for me to have quality one on one time with both of my girls and I've learned that I don't need to go over the top to have fun with them. Ainsley's and my new favorite thing is to turn on some calm music, open up the craft cabinet and have at it. Sometimes we make collages with feathers, ripped magazines, crayons and glitter pens, others we print out coloring pages on the computer and try to stay in the lines. Making play dough is always a hit, as it building an obstacle course in our living room. We've had so much fun doing simple things. As for Louise, our favorite is just having a smiling contest. She always wins.

5. It's ok to have completely lame lazy days.

I tend to beat myself up when I don't feel "active" enough, but then I had the thought, "If I'm worn out from the past few days, I'm sure the girls are too". It's true, toddlers have WAY more energy than adults (even caffeinated adults) but they get worn out too. I've learned to read Ainsley better and when she's unusually whiny or short tempered I know now, she's tired, and not necessarily I-need-an-extra-long-nap-tired, but an I-need-a-lazy-pajama-and-baked-goods-filled-morning-tired. About once a week we just lounge in the morning. Groceries and errands can wait, so can real clothes for that matter. This is when we usually pull out the crayon bucket, or the bag of blocks, turn on our wedding cocktail music playlist and quietly play. Sometimes we go upstairs and look through forgotten about books, rearranging them by color and size. Sometimes I put both girls in Louise crib and let them squeal and snuggle. It's kind of great not to have an agenda for a morning, plus Ainsley LOVES being able to suggest an activity and have me say "sure! we've got nothing else to do!"

6. there is almost NOTHING that a bit of fresh air can't cure

You know the days. It's the days that start with the great lazy morning and end with the post-nap-I'm-going-to-pull-my-hair-out-if-I-have-to-spend-one-more-minute-couped-up-in-here-meltdown. It's those days I've learned to push past the barrier, no matter how cold or wet or gloomy and GET OUTSIDE! We've taken so many jaunts up and down our little block I can't even tell you. Ainsley will pick up a stick or notice a leaf still clinging to the tree. Louise will gasp as the breeze takes her breath away and then sigh happily at the peek of sun through the clouds. I've never regretted getting out, even when it takes every ounce of patience and mom-ness I have to do it. So worth it.

So there we are. I still have lots to learn, hopefully something new every day. It's good to remind myself that I'm learning and kind of getting the hang of this whole mom thing.