This post is my attempt to banish "eeyore" from the list of adjectives that describe me and turn a new corner into a more positive and optimistic light.
While most families gathered together at parks and cabins to celebrate the three day Memorial weekend, and hopefully take a moment to be reminded of why we have this holiday, Ian, Ainsley and I had a rather different experience.
Ian is under a huge deadline for work (ending tomorrow, God-willing) and thus has been at the lab on and off all weekend. He has made a great effort to come home in the middle of the day to get in some quality family time and enjoy the nice, albeit HOT, weather (sans today of course with the thunder clouds booming). Still, I find myself in a bit of a funk.
Perhaps it's the coming down from a very full and productive week, baby hormones, no longer fitting into ANY pre pregnancy pants or non stretchy tops, but I feel a bit blue. I mentioned to Ian my sadness about not having a "typical" holiday weekend this morning and got the deserved guilt trip about making him feel guilty for needing to work, and for bringing us here in the first place.
First of all I don't blame him for bringing us here. I love so many things about Oak Park. The people, the quirky stores, the farmers market, the neighborhoods, the parks. I feel like being here has helped develop who I am as a grown woman so much more than being at "home" in Minnesota would have. And as a family it has allowed Ian and I independence to form our own opinions and traditions aside from our two (WONDERFUL) families.
There is of course that part of me that hurts when I see family photos from occasions we've missed including my ADORABLE nephew who knows his aunts, uncles, and grandparents so much better than Ainsley. I feel sad when other toddlers are uttering the names of their cousins and extended family members when Ainsley only has "Miss Amy" from musikgarten class and the wonderful bagger lady from Trader Joe's whose name I don't even know.
I know that there are so many families in the same boat as Ian and I. Living away from relatives and relatively alone. It just doesn't feel that way right now.
I looked back at some old posts the other night and was reminded of my vow to make Oak Park our home. I have definitely made strides to make our house a home. Especially lately I have poured nearly all of my excess energy (excess=the energy left over after caring for and entertaining Ainsley=NOT MUCH) into finishing up the decorating and odds and ends around the house. It has helped a lot. For one it has kept my mind busy, even when Ainsley is napping, so that I can't think TOO much about being homesick. For another, the house is looking great and if I'm put on bedrest again this baby will be all set (yes I've already bleached all the onesies).
While I'm realizing this post may sound rather eeyore still to you, to me it has been cathartic. I think rather than focusing on forcing a feeling that's not there I just need to accept that as long as we're away from "home" it's going to be a little hard. I can choose to focus on the things I'm missing out on, or I can remind myself of all the wonderful times we have here as a family.
This weekend we got to go to the pool for the first time (watch out waders! Ainsley plunges in with no abandon and marches out until her head is well under water...this could be a LONG summer for me) test out the hugely obnoxious giraffe pool in our backyard that Ainsley LOVES, eat yummy food, take naps and relax in the sun, and enjoy kisses and snuggles from our ever sweet little girl.
While it may not have been a typical Memorial Day weekend for some, this is our typical weekend every weekend. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband who is working so hard for us and a daughter that brings joy to my life every minute.
Take that Eeyore!
Some pictures from our weekend.
Asking for "more please" after stealing a decadent Regina's chocolate truffle. That's my girl.
I prompted "smile for the camera!" and this is what I got
The new giraffe pool. Too bad she doesn't like it.
I love that she brings us books now and cuddles up to read.
*Parents: This is a ridiculously funny ABC book I found at the library. B is for burp after the bird drinks a beer, F is for Ffft as in fart and X shows a dead bird lying on it's back. Ainsley's too young to get it, but it sure entertains Ian and I. (Ruth you would LOVED it)