Baby Sign

While Ainsley's down for an uncharacteristic morning nap I thought I'd take the opportunity to write about something that's been plaguing me for months now, the ramifications of teaching Ainsley sign language.

We started when she was about 8 months old, mainly while feeding. "more" was the first word she signed to us right around her first birthday and from then she's been soaking in all the signs she can get. She "says" more, milk, water/juice, food/hungry, please, thank you, tired/sleepy, all done. She's started to try fingerplay games with me, like itsy bitsy spider, way up in the sky, 5 brown buns, 5 little ducks, twinkle twinkle. When we count she holds her little fingers up and "sings" along to the abcs.

But she isn't saying many words and for a bright almost 17 month old I'm feeling at a loss. I had heard that teaching your baby sign language can delay their speech a bit, mainly because they have their basic needs met with signing and have no need to speak. It's not that Ainsley doesn't speak, she is yakking away all the time. She says dada for Ian and just about everything else. She says yay, all done, bye bye, hi and mama very occasionally. She's named a few of her toys. Her bear is Cici and the other day she started saying hot dog and hat and made a valiant attempt at thank you.

I guess I just thought that once she started speaking she would zoom along just like she has with every other milestone. I can't help but feel like I'm doing something wrong. Rest assured I talk to her ALL the time. We sing, read books, interact with other babies her age. When the tv is on I'm sitting right there with her talking about what we're watching and asking questions. I don't feel like there's much more that I can do. I just need to let her be who she is.

I have to admit watching the joy on her face when she signs and I understand what she wants is priceless. She still gets frustrated when there is something specific that she wants that I don't understand. We've been working on the sign/word for help because she gets frustrated easily when trying to move something large around or climb up something. On the flip side she has this determined focused quality at times. She puts simple puzzles together and is a whiz with stacking blocks and cups.

I hate that I'm even sitting here worrying about this feeling like I need to justify the intelligence of my child. I swore I would never be "one of those parents". One of the things I regret most about my young life was being labeled "gifted" so young. (notice the overuse of quotations in this blog) and I don't want that pressure put on Ainsley. It really ruined some aspects of school for me and I want her to feel free to pursue her interests and talents without being placed in a box, especially so young.

When she started walking at 9 months old I got a lot of "wow, you're so lucky" "what an advanced child". Perhaps I should have felt this way, lucky, but all I felt was dread about a label being placed on my sweet little girl so young. Now she had this "advanced" label to keep up with. What's worse is that because she walked, and did all of the physical milestones early, I assumed everything else would be at the same pace. Now that I know Ainsley so much better I know that she walked early because she is fiercely independent and needed to MOVE ON HER OWN. She signs because she could do that first and it gets her what she needs. She'll talk more when her signing doesn't cut it anymore.

I hate that I focus on these milestones that don't really matter and let them overshadow the beautiful little girl that is growing before me. I hope it's true that we learn from our mistakes and that I can take more of a backseat with our next little girl and cherish her for exactly who she is right from the start.

I love you Ainsley girl and I wouldn't change a thing about you!

P.S. I must add as a disclaimer that I love baby sign language and will definitely be using it with subsequent children. It is such a great communication tool even with the few cons it may pose.