The Details

I'm sure most of you saw on facebook that Ian and I spent the afternoon yesterday in the ER with Ainsley. It was rough, I'm not going to lie. I was proud that I put my mom face on, only tearing up when they had to strap her to a board triple swaddle style and I had to help hold her little writhing screaming in pain body down while they sewed up her wounded hand. I was so thankful to have Ian there, that he could drop everything and come home for extra support, for us both. I was so thankful for Ruth and Sonya to stay home with Louise and keep my baby happy. We came home to a clean house and a totally scoured clean Ainsley bedroom. I am thankful that her cut wasn't worse.

But I couldn't sleep last night. I kept hearing my little girl's screams in my head and seeing her wide eyes begging me to help her when all I could do was blow cool air on her sweating face and run my fingers through her hair telling her over and over again "the owies are almost done Ainsley. Take deep breaths with mama. The owies are almost done."

::of course the cut happened right during naptime, the poor girl was zonked::

She really did so well. All of the waiting bugged Ian and I more than her. Thank goodness for Iphones and self entertained toddlers. The staff was really great with her and once we got back there things happened as fast as they could.

I am still just heartbroken. Partly because I didn't think it was a problem to have her favorite music box snow globe within her reach. Partly because it took me 3o seconds to run upstairs after I heard the loud bump (I was feeding Louise when this all happened). But mostly because I'm her mom and mom's are supposed to make everything better and for those minutes when they were sticking her with needles and sewing her up with 5 stitches I could do so little. I hate feeling powerless and helpless, especially when it comes to my kids.

::5 stitches and a steri-strip, her battle wound::

I'm still a bit broken up. Thankfully she's sleeping and today is a new day. I hope there's no owies in it!