The Terrible Twos

I have so many lofty post ideas. I keep a little list of them going by my desk for when I really want to "dive" into something. Somehow everyday life keeps winning out. Perhaps it's these terrible twos.

I've been reluctant to write that phrase, use it in description of my 2 and a half year old daughter, but it's time.

I don't like it. I don't like that there is this whole LONG phase of Ainsley's life that is terrible. Her attitude, discipline, temperament, testing...it's all pretty terrible right now. It almost feels like a relief to finally admit that we're there, in the thick of this dreaded phase, somehow surviving and even managing to laugh every now and again.

Today is Wednesday, of course. Today we have musikgarten, a planned organized activity with other moms and tots. We do this every week and have for as long as Ainsley can remember. For some reason it's still an ordeal. On Wednesdays Ainsley wakes up early and cranky. She starts off right away on a very wrong foot. It's happened consistently enough now that I can say that it is so.

Why? Why on the ONE day a week that we have consistent FUN together with other people does Ainsley ruin it? She ruins my fun and hers. I'm just saying it out loud.

Today I tried prepping her more. We practiced her running to me when I called her (like when I call her from across the park or the musikgarten studio). "Ainsley come to mama!" and she ran like nobody's business, beaming and smiling "I'm comin mama!" She'd leap into my arms and I'd praise her for her compliance. "Just like that Ainsley girl, you are such a good listener!" "Again again!" she'd squeal.

Of course when it came down to it, she didn't listen when she should have. She still ran amok during class and chewed on her soft bunny toy when she should have been cuddling him and singing. At the park she threw sand on her friends' heads and in one little boy's eyes. My mama friends thought nothing of it. They know Ainsley and her cantankerous ways. They get that in their own ways our kids are all in those "terrible" twos. I am thankful for their camaraderie and empathy.

But the mom of the little 3 year old boy? She was appalled. Gasping in shock at the horror of the sand throw. Ainsley apologized, I told her how sorry I was, that we're working on learning how to behave at the park. She brushed off our apologies and tended to her eye rubbing son, clearly disgusted with me and Ainsley.

It threw me off. Hey, her kid was two last year right? He was learning at some point too right? How are there these people, no PARENTS, who don't remember this delightful and trying stage of life? I guess I hope I too someday may forget (or forget about that third kid Ian!) but even so. It's bad enough having to go through this with her without another parent looking down of my for it.

And just to further the rant...

Ainsley may be a little rough around the edges right now but she is still a sweet sensitive charismatic and creative little lady. I hate that her occasional pokes and bites and tantrums overshadow her more endearing characteristics, for me sometimes as well as others. I feel on her defense often, especially with doe eyed new parents who can't imagine that their baby will ever be a terrible two year old, or a wise old owl of a parent thinking their child was NEVER like this. Let me tell you something, your child WILL and DID go through the terrible twos. For all of our sanity please don't forget that.

Today I am so thankful for my mama friends who understand, my own mama for consoling me, my sweet Louise who FINALLY took an afternoon nap after a mere 2 hours of playing to wear her out and cuddling, and especially for my Ainsley May, even in all of her terrible two glory, I love her more than I can say.

To update: The day ended with playful splash time in the pool in the backyard, sweet snuggles and smiles and a very entertaining trip to Costco with Auntie Sonya. On the way to pick Sonya up Ainsley told me that "You're a pretty lady mama" and I completely forgot the whole terrible two thing, at least for the night.

Some photos from today:

::morning apple snack::

::helping fill up her pool, LUSH peony bush in the background::

::she loves her chair::