Enough to go around

Last night was THAT night. The night you dread and fear as a parent. One baby dreadfully sick, only consoled by a snug place on her mama's chest, the other jarred by the crashes and booms of the storm outside. The result was an empty queen sized bed and two very tired parents in the morning.

Even with the dark circles under my eyes I really can't complain. Last night was the first night of its kind since Louise was born. I count us lucky that we have good sleepers and rooms for us each for much needed alone time and rest.

On the flip side, it's nice to be needed by my girls. I kind of revel in the calm I can bring to them when they need it. I rarely feel more like a mom then when those instincts kick in to soothe a sick or scared babe. Somehow I just know to put them to my chest and find a quiet place to rock or sway. My fingers know to gently scratch and rub their back and blow slowly on their brows.

Somehow I went from a little girl needing my own mama in that way to a mama myself. It's easier to tap into patience and understanding when I remember that. While I do remember the occasional stern looks and frustrated tone of my own mother I mostly remember her steadfastness, the security and calm that she always brought. Even after I went through that whole learning-my-parents-are-real-people-too-thing she's still my go to for advice and console. I'm excited to be emerging as that person for my girls.

As for tending to the needs of two at once last night, thank goodness for a man who is their other rock. He may not have my "ploofy" chest (as we used to call my mom's) but he comforts in his own way. We have more than enough of what our girls need; love, patience, and comfort. For that I am so very thankful.