My Weekend with Louise

I have no creative title for this post. No witty alliterations or anecdotes. Just bursting love and appreciation for three solid days with my sweet Louise abounding in words and photos.

I wasn't sure about this weekend. It came upon me so suddenly and unexpectedly. Initially I was sad to be without my other halves. I missed tucking Ainsley into bed and kissing Ian goodnight.

Rather than let the loneliness and missing-them consume me I let go and focused on this precious time with my big growing baby girl. I can't put into words what this weekend has meant for me, but of course I'm going to try.

I so needed this alone time with my baby, before she's not one anymore. All too soon she'll be crawling and walking and talking and running. All too soon she'll have opinions and ideas, a voice and a need to be heard.

This weekend was so quiet and fun and simple. We lounged and played on the floor, did tons of errands, laughed and tickled and babbled. I took tons of little videos and pictures, trying to capture this perfect weekend that we had, and this perfect age that Louise is in.

Last night there was a tornado watch in Chicago until 1am. I didn't want to stay up to keep up on the weather updates so I put a flashlight next to my bed and tried to go to sleep early. I was restless and anxious. I tiptoed into Louise's room, cradled her sweet sleeping baby body in my arms and glided back to bed. I just watched her sleep for what felt like forever, until I finally drifted off. We both stirred about 6am, Louise grinning and babbling, me in awe of this beautiful baby girl in my bed.

This weekend has been an unexpected treat and truth be told I'm sad to see it end.

I have been sad off and on this weekend, not from missing Them, but because Louise is at the exact age that I totally missed out on with Ainsley. Ainsley NEVER sat in one spot and just played calmly, she NEVER was without a pacifier to keep her from screaming in public. She NEVER stopped moving. Being with Louise, totally and completely, at this age reminds me of how hard it was with Ainsley and how I wish i could go back with the patience that I have learned, that she has taught me, and do it over again.

But I can't. So I can start fresh today, in an hour or so actually, when Ian and Ainsley drive up and unload and Ian skirts off to a half day of work. I can accept the active, strong willed child that I have and engage her and love her and let her be who she is.

Perhaps this is why we have more than one child. To give us perspective. Ainsley and Louise are so different and wonderful in their own ways. I have been blessed with two amazing children. This weekend was just what I needed to remind myself of how much I love them both and my husband and our crazy, rambunctious, full life together.

Welcome back Ainsley and Ian! and thank you Louise, for one of the best weekends ever.