One of the things that I was most excited about when choosing to be a stay at home mom was cooking. I LOVE to cook.
When I was younger cooking was such a novelty. Every once in a while I would beg my mom to let me be in charge of dinner. I'd spend ALL day planning, making lists, shopping for ingredients, chopping and simmering. I used every bowl, knife and spoon my mom had and never cleaned up. It was kind of glorious.
When Ian and I were newly married I jumped right on the chef wagon. I made salmon almost weekly, lots of beef and comfort food. I totally indulged, both in the type and quantity of food that we ate.
Then we had Ainsley and life changed a bit. Suddenly it was really hard to cook dinner. I have lots of memories of trying to simmer something with Ainsley in the sling, turning my body awkwardly away from the heat of the gas stove, determined that having a baby wouldn't affect my home made meals.
Now I have two little helpers under foot and dinner prep time falls right in the heat of the bewitching hour. That lovely time of night that every parent knows, when your kids and you are simply done, with each other and the day and there's not much else to do but survive until daddy walks in the back door.
Then there's money. For a while I did really well on a tight food budget. Then I watched Food Inc and my life kind of changed. I'd rather eat vegetarian than buy meat from most of the grocery stores around here, but Ian is a meat boy and I feel bad serving meatless things too often. I was feeling bad that I was finding it nearly impossible to stick to our $100 a week food budget until I read a recent article on CNN that asked a reporter to stick to the same budget for a family of four and she declared that it couldn't be done. The average food budget for a family of four these days? $240 a week. Or so they say. It made me feel better and frustrated all the same that food costs SO much. Even the mediocre quality food.
So here I sit trying to menu plan for yet another week and it's happened, that food slump I vowed would never take me over has settled in. I find myself caring so little about what we eat and having even less zeal for preparing it. Ian asked me what I want for my birthday dinner tomorrow night and my only thought? Can you just decide?
Really can you? Please just plan a weeks worth of meals, breakfast lunch and dinner, keep it under $150 if you could and make sure it appeals to my two picky eaters and my one carnivore. I'd pay you, but that's not in the budget.
Please?!?
Oh Becky. I'm sending my virtual hugs and sympathies. When I worked for a family of 7, they went through a salary cut and gave me $125 per week. FOR SEVEN. That had to include lunches to send to school and dinner that I would cook 3x/week.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom and I discuss this frequently-- the cost of food has risen so dramatically in the past couple of years. We pay $6.59 for a gallon of organic milk: everytime, I stare at the $3.19 version and think... do I care more about dollars or food quality?
I have taken to stocking up when it is on sale, freezing produce (even herbs. you can chop a .69 bundle of cilantro, freeze in ice cube trays, and use for months), and doing large batch cooking once a month. Costco sells organic chicken for about $6/lb, which is also what Target sells their scary Gold'n Plump for.
Also, and I know this is crazy: consider investing in a chest freezer and going in on purchasing an entire side of beef with your sisters. My grandparents did this for my parents because my Gma was into organic/natural long before it was cool and she wanted to oversee what went into her food. Ian will have meat til the cows come home. Actually.
Chris does not clean up. He sees it as I made the mess, I clean it up. I tell him my grandparents were married for 60 years BECAUSE Gma cooked and Gpa cooked up. He tries, but as an only child and as someone who would eat Captain Crunch for dinner, he doesn't get it and I have decided I would rather do the dishes than argue.
I care more than he does, just as I'm sure you put more concern into your family's nutrition than anyone else. It's part of the Mom Brain. I hear you though- I tell Chris all the time: COOKING is not hard. Deciding WHAT to cook in advance so I have ingredients and an attack plan is what's hard. Have Ian and the girls make you a 3 item menu on Saturdays for the coming week. Put some of the weight on them and then plug your ears if anyone tries to complain.
I'm sure you know this already, but I have found that cooking similar meals goes far. IE: I will make chicken and dumplings, chicken pot pie, some kind of soup, and a one pot meal. I do this because most are based on inexpensive root vegetables and because I can chop/prep a TON at once, eat one or two that week and freeze the rest. Plus, I don't feel bad then for buying an expensive ingredient that I only use a little of for one dish, then throw it away.
Also, a Mom I worked for back in the day had a simple rule for her 4 very picky eaters: This is what I'm making and if you don't like it, there's the cereal cupboard. Don't beat yourself up over kids who are choosing to be picky. Few children truly dislike foods-- the average turns down a new item 12x before deciding to like it. You could cook 100 meals and if they are being particular (read: controlling in their own Little Person way), it wouldn't matter.
Cut yourself a break! You're doing an amazing job. We all see that and when the girls are older, they will know it, too.
I hear ya. If you're stressing out about the organic thing, give it a break. Or just try to get the ones that can be really scary ( http://www.organic.org/articles/showarticle/article-214 ).
ReplyDeleteI would also second the suggestion about getting half a cow, or something like that. We get a meat share from Mint Creek Farm once a month and it's basically all the meat we eat, supplemented by like one other meat per week ( http://mintcreekfarm.com/ ). A share is nice because you get a mix of meats and they're all pretty normal cuts, you're not stuck with pounds of organ meats. (When we move out to the 'burbs in a couple years we'll split a cow with you!)
And our pediatrician gave me some great advice: "Your child will not starve if they don't like what's for dinner. It's ok to be hungry, or have an extra big glass of milk to help fill them up. As long as they're trying things, and eating some fruits and vegetables along the way, everything will be ok. Just don't let them fill up on cookies afterwards." That's been our mantra all along. There are some days where Lily tries and loves everything, and really fills up, and then the next day not so much. It all evens out in the end.
I don't know what Ian's schedule is like, but we've moved dinner back about an hour. Lily gets a big snack at the beginning of the witching-hour, and then as soon as Joe gets home he's in charge of her while I get dinner together in peace, alone. It gives everyone a needed change of pace, and time apart. And I'm not making gourmet meals or anything, just regular weeknight dinner type stuff in about 30 minutes. I've found that it really helps me get centered for the struggle that comes with sitting down to dinner and the rest of the evening.
Anyway, hang in there. You're obviously doing things just fine because your girls are wonderful.