Friday, March 30, 2012

Back Home

I'm pushing it I know, starting a post at 2:39 in the afternoon, well into my two girls' deep afternoon post vacation slumbers. Yet here I am typing away because I'm almost giddy.  We're home.

If you've read my blog for a while, or know me or talk to me at all, you know what a redundant struggle this new home has been for me.  I found myself bumbling and embarrassed when people asked me where we're from while in Florida "Minnesota! well, um, originally.  We've lived just outside of Chicago for almost 5 years.  So I guess Chicago!"  I felt silly, rambling on when the inquirer was just posing a polite conversational question.  What do they care about this home identity crisis that I still seem to be struggling with?  they don;t and shouldn't, and quite frankly it made me realize that I need to once and for all get over this.  Its gotten completely ridiculous.

Truth is, it's gotten harder and harder to leave this home of ours.  I teared up when I had to say goodbye to Ian in Florida, very uncharacteristic for me, half because I knew how much we'd all miss him, how HARD it was going to be without him there, but also because I was jealous.  No fair!  He gets to go home.

When the plane touched down in Chicago, a freshly awakened Ainsley and oh so squirmy Louise both stilled.  "Oh mama, I think I see daddy's work!"  They both grinned as we clomped down the long stairs to baggage claim, unburdening our bags and hearts on our man we so missed.  The cool air felt delightful as we walked to the car, the drive so much greener than a mere 10 days ago.  Rather than hurry and scurry to unpack and organize last night I just sat with my family, drinking it all in.  I love our home.

This morning us girls all rose before the sun.  At first I was excited for my easy 5:30 arousal, sure I'd get a good hour to myself before the rest awoke.  Then I heard Louise's gleeful morning chirp and Ainsley's holler for love and us three enjoyed our dark quiet house in warm jammies and cozy snuggles.  It was perfect.

One of the greatest beauties of a trip and time away is the perspective it lends.  I feel so refreshed and energized, despite the different kind of exhaustion travelling with two little ones brings.  I am over the moon to plant our first real substantial this-could-actually-feed-us-for-some-of-the-summer garden with the girls this weekend.  I am giddy to try my hand at naturally died Easter eggs this year with the girls (beets, blueberries, blackberries, spinach and tumeric should do the trick!).  I am eager to delve back into the many projects I left undone a mere 10 days ago.  I am motivated to buckle down and continue to plow forward in this place, making do and making fun, economizing creating and enjoying.

For this is the life we lead here in this home, simple and easy and fun, and today I am oh so glad for all of that.

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