I was recently introduced to a great blog by my mother in law (http://www.digthischickmt.com/) and her post today gave me a thought. She has two daughters, 3 and 1 and mentioned how they now have their own "thing". Their own relationship that is all their own, better even without her intervention. It struck me. I have two girls less than two years apart and someday, soon I know, they too will have their own "thing". I will become "the mother" not the friend and playmate that I am right now. I find myself dreading that day.
I already see Louise and Ainsley's relationship developing (spare me the chuckles I KNOW Louise is only 4 months old and just recently capable of genuine eye contact and adoration). The way that Louise looks at Ainsley is different from how she looks at Ian or I. She glows. She stares in awe, she laughs and smiles and coos and babbles. She LOVES her sister. And then there's Ainsley. When she feels the inclination to pause for a moment she adores Louise. She pats her belly, "helps" her roll over (by pulling on her hand...don't worry I supervise) tells her stories and sings her songs "Nigh-night Ya-Weez, It's time for nappy Ti-hime!" Tonight when Ainsley was distraught (for goodness knows what reason) during dinner, I prompted her to tell Louise her woes. She climbed down from the table, stood next to the swing and explained to Louise "Ainsley May want moh CHEESE! Mama say NO! Ainsley Cry." My heart melts reliving it. Such a precious sweet moment.
I've been explaining to Ainsley that Louise won't be a baby for ever. Someday she'll sit up, crawl, walk, RUN, just like her. "No mama. Silly mama. Mama CRAZY (thanks for teaching our two year old the word "crazy" Ian, at least she gets what it means). But it's true. Someday they'll both be little girls, then big girls, then young women. 20 months apart, sisters, and hopefully friends.
In those moments I get what my fellow blogger is talking about. It is sad in a way, to be left out of something that you created, that you want so desperately to be "in" on. But really, it's better, wonderful that they have their own "thing". My biggest (or at least one of the biggest) hope for my girls is that they are friends. My friendships with my 3 sisters are the most important to me. Perhaps I don't have as many close friends because I have such great relationships with my sisters. We can call and gripe about life, share in our joys and triumphs, cry in our moments of sorrow. I have a love for my sisters that I don't have anywhere else. I loved growing up together, playing together, learning together, getting into BIG trouble together. I am so thankful that I have them and so glad that Ainsley and Louise will always have each other.
Besides, I know now that the cycle will eventually come full circle. I know that for a good long time I will be MOM to Ainsley and Louise. I will be the enforcer, the comforter and supporter, but not the friend. I will tell them what they need to hear, not necessarily what they want to hear. I learned from the best.
I say full circle because now my mom is one of my best friends. I call her all the time. I lean on her, not just for advice, but companionship. She is not only my rock, my confidant and my support but a kindred spirit. I can't wait to have that with my girls.
For now I relish in the fun we can have and the simplicity of our lives. I love my two girls, and whether they know it or not, I'll always be their best friend, their biggest fan, underneath all that mom stuff.
I know I love having a sister and I hope Maizie has one too someday. It is awesome that your girls are already developing that bond that will last a lifetime. You are very lucky that you get to witness such a cool thing firsthand.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your desire to be their mom at this point in life and not their best friend. You are bound to have your difficult days because of that, but they will grow to be wonderful young women as a result. :O)