I've decided that pregnancy is a lot like your senior year of high school. You start off all pumped up, optimistic and eager, quickly followed by the harsh blow of reality (in high school - tons of homework, crazy busy schedule, applying for colleges; in pregnancy - exhaustion, nausea, mourning the loss of your good friends beer and wine). Halfway through you find yourself relatively relaxed and content. "I can handle this, no big deal" You can't even dream of the graduation (birth) day that seems so far off, so removed from reality. Then comes spring. Making a decision about what to do after the impending graduation (birth), feeling all at once completely unprepared for the real world (baby) and itching to get (the baby) out. I am definitely in late spring here.
I forgot all of the little nuances of late pregnancy. I think it all gets clumped together in that "momnesia" they talk about mostly associated with the whole giving birth, recovery thing. (I have a feeling that first "real" contraction is going to be quite the rude awakening accompanied by the sentiment "I remember this...oh sh**!")
For one, I am huge. Last appointment I weighed what I weighed when I gave birth to Ainsley. I would chalk it up to a larger baby, but we don't know that yet for sure. Secondly, I feel horrible, seriously, like I have mild stomach flu all the time. I can't really complain because I never got morning sickness with either pregnancy, but heck, I'm going to complain anyways. Because of this wonderful nausea and tummy trouble I haven't had any appetite (going back to the whole being huge issue this may not be such a bad thing) but when your empty stomach is growling at you and the baby is begging for food and NOTHING sounds or tastes good and you want to throw up immediately after eating it's a little rough.
I am reminded of talking about being anxious to give birth a few posts back (or on multiple posts) and consoling myself by saying that I remember with Ainsley I reached a point where I was just done being pregnant, so done, that I could care less how much it hurt to get her out of there. Well folks, I am there...SO READY. Give me 12 more days to be officially full term and you can bet I'll be doing jumping jacks and running stairs.
I am dying to sleep on my stomach or really just lay down in any position other than on my left side. I want to eat a normal sized meal and not feel like I am going to explode. I want to enjoy my cup of coffee in the morning without the crippling heartburn that inevitable follows. And while we're on the topic of beverages, don't even get me started on how wonderfully amazing a cold pint of Newcastle or Smithwicks would taste. I want to be able to climb the stairs without shooting pains down my groin. I want to be able to see my feet when I stand up and be able to cross my legs when I sit down. I want to wear pants that button and shirts that don't stretch. Pregnancy is truly just a complete surrender of your body to your unborn child.
I have packed and repacked my hospital bag over the past weeks, sometimes to give myself something to do and other times out of necessity. I've taken out the teeny tiny preemie hat and booties I knit because even on a 5 lb baby they would be too small (thank heavens for that!) and replaced them with a going home newborn outfit and cotton hat. I've had fun going through my nursing tops and deciding which ones I'll be able to squeeze into right away. I even went through a box of shirts to find some that would work for those first few weeks when I still have a belly (I'm not even opening the pants box until the baby is a month old, too depressing otherwise).
It's getting close and I am getting so excited. It feels so good to be excited rather than terrified. The baby and I are still holding out for the tub. Yes even in the heat we've been having it's my preferred birth plan. I'm planning on sitting up a bit more in the next two weeks to get some last minute things done in the nursery and around the house (art on the walls, cleaning and organizing). I do feel like this baby will come sooner rather than later though. I can't wait to meet her!
On a completely different note, Ian and Ainsley have been outside at our neighborhood block party all morning and are having a blast. Ainsley's already gotten a fat lip (she recovered well and seemed more annoyed to have to come inside briefly to get cleaned up than she was about the injury) and changed into her swimsuit to play in the pool that's sitting in the middle of the street. I just heard the firetruck pull up so that should be fun and she gets to eat her favorite food, HOT DOGS, for lunch. I so wish I could be out there with them. Too bad it's 95 degrees out and when I stand up for more than 5 minutes I feel like the baby is going to drop out of me.
Whoops, I was switching gears and not complaining anymore wasn't I? I'm huge, bored and pregnant. You'll forgive me right?
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