One Whole Year

A year ago today you were born and I was a mama for the second time. Your birth was easy and quick and calm, with only daddy and the midwife in the room to welcome you to this beautiful world. I cradled you and loved on you until you were taken from me just hours after your birth to heal your sick little lungs.

A year ago today I was pacing the hallways of our local hospital, gathering the courage to enter the nursery as the strong calm mother I wanted to be, not the broken hurting mama that I truly felt.

A year ago today I was worried and anxious. Desperate for answers and to get our new little one home.

A year ago today I was joyful that you were here ultimately healthy and strong after so much worry, calm and resilient.

A year ago today we brought you home and welcomed you into our family. You snoozed the days away, smiling in your sleep, gently waking up to the world.

A year ago today you were the easiest baby we could have hoped for. Only fussing when you really needed something, patiently waiting while we adjusted our lives for the needs of two.

A year ago today you were loved every minute and every minute since, you sweet easy calm baby you.

9 months ago today I was getting in the groove. So thankful for my sweet sleepy baby with your calm smiles and gentle needs.

9 months ago today we were giggling and laughing all together as a family of four, never caring to remember what it was like when it was just us three, because four felt so perfectly wonderful.

9 months ago today my girl was emerging from your newborn cocoon. Every second I knew you and loved you better.

6 months ago today we were travelling. Enjoying family vacations all together and learning what a flexible happy camper you are. Sitting up straight smashing sand in your face, you loved every minute.

6 months ago today we were in the dregs of winter. Snuggled up close we took long walks in the cold and rolled in the snow.

6 months ago you were dubbed YaWeez by your adoring big sister. She loved on you and played with you and you welcomed her advances with giggles and joy and a ton of adoration right back.

6 months ago today we tried out new foods, rolled and rolled to play with toys, but mostly sat up happily taking the world in and smiling all the while.

6 months ago today we were I'm-in-big-trouble in love.

3 months ago today we were relishing in spring. Crawling in the dirt, taking wagon rides galore and swinging swinging swinging the days away.

3 months ago you were cutting teeth and you fussed for the first time (for real). You needed extra snuggles and love and I easily and happily obliged.

3 months ago today you were babbling and screeching, signing and cooing. We started to really communicate with you and hear your loud and happy voice.

3 months ago today I had a weekend alone with you, quiet and snuggly and slow. We talked and played and walked and bathed and it was a time I will always treasure with you.

3 months ago today you were growing and growing, ever smiling and happy and sweet my precious Louise.

Today you are one. One whole year old. How can this be? You feel too new to be one, but have always been in my heart, so I guess it must be so.

I knew you before you were born and now that you are here so many things make sense. I feel whole and happy in each moment with you.

I feel so blessed to be your mama, to get to watch you grow and learn. To give you snuggles when you need them and freedom when it calls you. I can't wait for the next year, and I can, all at the same time. Because you are perfect right now in this moment, but I know you'll be perfect then too.

I love you more than you'll ever know my sweet Louise. Happy First Birthday!