Sunday, June 2, 2013

Last Week

Yet again I'm struggling with how to start a post.  Perhaps it's because I wait too long in between these days and have WAY too much to day.  Yes yes, I do believe that's it.  So I'll just apologize in advance for the disjointed thought bubbles to come and move right along.

Ah this week.  It was a good one really, most four day weeks are.  We had so much fun last weekend, despite the too cold for opening pool weekend weather.  We saw old friends and too far apart between visits family, went the the farmers market for the first time this season, got lots done around the house and yard, ate very well (mmmm strawberry rhubarb pie), and in general just enjoyed the extra time together.










Tuesday I took the kids grocery shopping and then to the park.  Wednesday we played with friends at home all morning and enjoyed the library in the afternoon.  Thursday I braved Costco for the first time with all three (huge success even with forgetting a few things on my list), let the girls splash in the backyard pool instead of nap while I mowed and weeded, and after a big 4pm cup of coffee got more knocked off the to do list than I can still believe. Ah, good stuff.

But today we're tired.  We got out this morning on a nice walk/bike to the bakery and grocery store.  Made it home in one piece even after Ainsley wiped out crossing the busiest street we had to cross and scraping up her knee (thank goodness! I saw visions of me giving her a piggy back all the way home).  I spent the rest of the morning doing nothing more than knitting with Felix propped up on my thighs, listening to my girls play "moving" for about an hour and a half (they literally "moved" half of their room downstairs took "naps" in their new beds, then hauled it all back up).  They've also enjoyed lots of doctor playing this week (new gardening gloves became surgical gloves, and Ainsley fashioned face masks for us all out of tape and kleenex).  Now all three are napping soundlessly and I'm sipping on some sparkling water, enjoying the quiet.








Right now I feel amazing, exhausted, but amazing.  I'm getting enough sleep that I can function pretty normally, am so starved for normalcy that even the 12 loads of laundry a week and endless chores haven't lost their novelty (yet!).  It helps too that I've finally found a system that seems to work for me. (separating laundry into grown ups, kids, and baby stuff...5 minute pick ups before naps and bedtimes).  Yes!

Physically I'm feeling better than I could have ever hoped for.  It took me nearly 4 months to feel this good after I had Louise, but now? I have to hold myself back on my walks not to take those first running steps.  (I'm 6 weeks postpartum next Wednesday, I've got my shuffle all loaded and ready).

Yet, for as good as I feel I have my moments of despair.  I am sick of yoga pants and workout capris, but only two of my normal pants fit and even those are snug around the middle.  NONE of my normal shirts fit well thanks to the largest nursing bosoms I've ever had.  I'm particularly bummed this time around because I worked hard to get myself back to a comfortable place last spring (thanks Ragnar!).  I was down to my pre Ainsley weight and in the best shape I'd been in in years.  Now here I am again, feeling back at square one.  It's hard because even though I know all of my pants and shirts will fit again at some point and of course it's all worth it for our beautiful baby boy, I'm impatient and annoyed and just want my old body back NOW please.  On top of it all I'm dealing with that lovely nursing struggle.  Needing to provide for my big growing baby makes it nearly impossible to diet in any way.  While I'm eating very well the quantity that I need to keep up with him is astounding.  And it'd be nice if I wasn't covered in vomit every time Ian walks in the door from work.  Yes, that might help my morale a bit too.

But really, all my girls see is Mommy, all my baby sees is snuggles and love and FOOD! and all my boy sees is his girl, a bit tired and soft, but his girl nonetheless.  I'm pretty thankful for all that.

Really i'm thankful for it all.  For this life right now that surely is very hard and A LOT, but mostly wonderful.  That I'm deep enough into this mom thing to be able to let the little things (mostly) slide and soak up my growing little people even in the midst of frustration and exhaustion.




1 comment:

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