28 Weeks

This baby and I are officially in the third trimester.  Oh goodness does that feel good.

Just the other day Ian was remarking on how I've acted a bit differently this pregnancy, been much more even keeled, more like myself.  Then BLAMMO!  The past few days I've been totally cranky and off.  I've been short with the girls, Ian too.  I've gone to bed so early most nights that I feel like I've hardly seen him.  Poor guy.

Then today I woke up and somehow the mood had passed.  I found myself excited to go to my midwife appointment, more patient and calm then I've been in quite a while.  It feels good to be back.

Because I think Ian' right.  Save for a few exceptional days I've maintained my cool so far.  A lot of it is I think, that I'm older, no longer a "new" mom, more settled in my role as a parent and adult.  I remember being told with my first pregnancy to pretend like there was a little alien in my body who had taken over and to just let it happen.  For me, that was bad advice.  Sure, when my stomach is cramping up after a long morning it's good to sit down and drink some water.  I listen to my body, to this baby, but I'm also still me, it's so nice to have a balance going this time around.

But these past few days? I've finally allowed myself to worry a bit, tumble fully into neurotic pregnant lady mode for a while.  I worried about the normal Um, my stomach is huge and this baby eventually has to come OUT of there! worries as well as the abnormal what if the baby comes early?  How will it all work out?

I think it's been good to wallow for a bit, get it out of my system.  Because today?  I got to hear that sweet mellow heart beat again, get confirmation that everything on the ultrasound looks perfect, learn that the baby is already head down, nice and low, kick kick kicking away even at the midwives as they measured this growing bump.

I'm down to two weeks between appointments now and know that the next one at 30 weeks will feel especially good to have past me.  Then 34, then 36.5 when I officially get to plan on a homebirth.  Just for fun, and peace of mind I looked up when full term is for this little one and I and we have until April 8.  Just over two months!  We can totally do this baby.  You and me.

I'm going to need every moment of those two months to finish all I have planned for this new baby, Ainsley too.  Mama, I want to broider (embroider) something for the baby.  Some kind of art to hang on the wall.  I'm thinking an A for Ainsley and a B for baby, and maybe we could be holding hands.  Do you think the baby will like that?  Louise too of course.  I paint for the baby.  I sing for the baby "yullabye and goonight, wif woses, bedite".  I hold the baby.  I love the baby.  Fank you fank you mama, for my baby.

Oh this little baby. You are so loved already.  Keep growing away!  We can't wait to meet you soon.

P.S. the midwives told me today that the homemade tunic I was wearing looked like it was from anthropologie.  If that doesn't make s bumbling pregnant lady's day, I don't know what does.