Keeping On

I am simply floored by all of the support and love we've been receiving over the past few days.  Thank you thank you, so so much.

After Ian's second trip to the ER the doctor confirmed his diagnosis from before and sent him home with some new medication.  He's definitely been better than he was on Monday, but still unable to be up and about much at all and eating is still a feat.  The trick now is finding the right combination of meds to keep him comfortable and side effect free until his body can get rid of this infection.

I broke down for a bit again last night.  Even with all of Dan's help the girls are an extra handful and I am just so tired.  I felt good yesterday morning and took them out to get a few things, three errands later my body was shot and I paid for it all night long with lots of pain and contractions.  I crawled into bed right after I got the girls down and just broke down.  Ian, even in his sad state, was reassuring  "we'll make it" he kept saying.   And we will surely, I just hope it's well, and soon.

Today things are looking the brightest they have since this all started last Friday.  Ian was up with the girls, in some pain, but more manageable than it has been.  We enjoyed family coffee while grandpa Dan slept, I got to get my hair cut, Ian insisting I keep the appointment I'd already rescheduled once.  When I returned Dan and I left Ian with a quiet house to take the girls to the library where we found some fun movies to snuggle up to in the next days and lots of new books.  Dan treated us all to Culvers for lunch and Ian was able to eat nearly his whole burger, the first real substantial food he's eaten in about 5 days.  Now everyone is napping and I'm tidying a bit, readying for the midwife's homevisit this evening.  I think it will be good for us to focus for a bit of this new baby, and not in the scary they may be born early and I'll be on my own way, but the we're so close to getting a homebirth and so excited to meet them way.

And as always there has been some good that has come out of all of this trauma.  I am loving this time to get to know my father in law all over again so well.  He's so wonderful with the girls, so helpful around the house.  We were joking last night that he's seeing a whole new side of me.  Not the type A all put together homecookin housecleaning rearing to go Becky, but the half sticks of butter all over the counter because I'm too lazy to put them away, sitting all the time, sure lets eat leftovers again, messy floors and I don't care Becky.  It's been good for me.  Letting go a bit and laughing at yourself almost always is.

And those girls are loving their grandpa Dan time.  He ran them ragged at the park, played with them all afternoon so I could rest yesterday when I wasn't feeling so hot, read them books before bed, in his silly always teaching something grandpa Dan way.  He's always up for fun with them, been scouring our house spring cleaning style, cooking, running errands.  You're amazing Dan!

And just now?  Ian came down from naps early, unable to sleep (meaning perhaps he finally doesn't need to sleep all afternoon?!?!) and is sipping on coffee, watching some baseball.  It ALMOST feels like a normal weekend afternoon, except it's not.  I so hope he keeps feeling better, and have faith he will soon.

And I'll leave you with a little photo evidence of our survival...

one of many loving on grandpa Dan moments of late...

 if that isn't one big strong baby in there, I don't know what is...

(35.2 weeks)

smiles are always good signs

Thank you again for all of the love and support.  We've felt every ounce and it means so much.