Toddler Travels and Woes

Now that we are OFFICIALLY heading to Minnesota for Thanksgiving (and the 2 weeks before) I am gearing up for my first solo 7 hour road trip with the girls. I've done it enough alone with Ainsley that I'm not terribly concerned. I am confident that Louise will sleep most of the way and as bad as it may get with Ainsley it's just one day, it's just one day, it's just one day (my mantra, can you tell?)

I have actually been having fun making lists and lists and lists of things to bring and do in the car. Songs, fingerplays, activities, special snacks. I almost caved and bought a DVD player, but as Ian pointed out, we both grew up sans electronics in the car and are determined to make Ainsley a "self entertained" girl. Easy for him to say, he's not the one travelling alone with a 22 month old and a 2 month old! (I say with all the love in the world)

I am currently agonizing over which new toy to buy her. Ainsley got $10 from her great grandma (GG) for Halloween and we thought we'd use it to buy her something fun for the car trip. Travel puzzles? a bead lacing game? a new book? It's a tough one.

I am actually finding myself looking forward to the trip, well, mainly for the destination but I always feel a little empowered when I make that drive on my own. It reminds me of how far I've come from the days of being relatively housebound with ainsley during the first few months of her life. We'll see if I feel the same about the return trip!

On the "toddler woes" front we've had a trying morning (who am I kidding, a trying few days) in the Vaagenes household. I stumbled out of bed at 7:30 with Louise (she's been getting up twice a night again for a while and it's starting to wear on me a bit) to find Ian and Ainsley happily doing a puzzle. As soon as Ian left to get ready for work Ainsley switched gears into this moody little being.

While she's always been a "water tester" she is definitely upping her game. I feel like EVERYTHING is a battle these days. What food she eats, what's in her sippy cup, what activity we do, what music we listen to.

Even old standbys aren't doing the trick anymore. The past two weeks at musikgarten have not gone so well and I'm debating signing up for the next session. Today she swiped at a little girl when she didn't put her puppy dog away fast enough. I was mortified and almost broke down right there. I used to judge parents with out of control toddlers and now I am one of those parents. I feel at such a loss sometimes. I of course had her apologize and explained in my "stern mom voice" that we NEVER hit people. But she smirks at me and runs away.

Sometimes I feel like it's me. I MUST be doing something wrong. Why are there children that just sit quietly on their parents laps, follow directions and use "indoor voices"? Most of the time I love Ainsley's spunk and am thankful for her willingness to try new things and be independent. I have been told numerous times how lucky I am that my child is not a wallflower and will benefit in the long run from her vigor. But what about right now? It's exhausting saying "No!" and redirecting and explaining "why we don't do this, and why we don't do that" I feel like most of my time with her is spent this way now as opposed to just playing and having fun.

I just fear that in those moments of breakdown and defiance she is losing that sweet little girl that I know she can be, and that slowly she is breaking me down as well. But this is my job right? It's what I signed up for. The exercise has been helping to energize me and level out my head. I just need to focus on the good and the knowledge that this too shall pass, right, please?