Today

I'm feeling just this side of under the weather today.  Yesterday morning while Ainsley was at school, instead of our usual run around get stuff done morning, Louise and I lay down in my bed.  I napped, she moved on to her room, happily playing dress up and dollhouse while I closed my tired eyes.

Last night after a full afternoon with our beloved Grammy, Auntie and sweet cousin (not to mention the long awaited 20 week ultrasound, nearly 6 weeks late!) I was bushed.  While reading a distraught Ainsley into calm (oh boy, does she hate when her Grammy has to leave) my body relaxed deep into sleep mode too.  By 8:30 we were both out.  I didn't rouse until 6:30, and I still felt tired.

This morning I've been dragging.  Louise is a bit off too, wanting me to carry her through the morning, an increasingly tricky feat for me.  I spent my hour alone this morning knitting in silence, staring off into space.  I spent naptime snuggled up with my baby girl, needing more sleep than her when she awoke 2 hours later.

And now?  I'm still off.  Sluggish and slow.  But my girls are wide awake and the snowless landscape is shining bright.  On a normal non pregnant, feeling great day we'd be out.  But today?  I made a batch of fresh playdough, pink like a Valentine's heart, per Ainsley's request.  I'm pouring myself another large glass of water, snuggling up on the couch, not even feeling like knitting that last row of the baby blanket before another exciting color change (that's how I really know I don't feel well).

I say a quick prayer that this is all this is.  A little cold, needs to sleep all the time bug.  But I also say a prayer of thankfulness.  That this baby looked so darn cute at the ultrasound last night.  Sucking on their hands, rolling about, growing and healthy and alive.  That my body is handling this pregnancy well, that other than the chills and scratchy throat I feel amazing.  That I have two beautiful self entertained little girls who are currently rolling and cutting their playdough into birthday treats for a celebration for their dolls, no wait, now they're playing firehouse and putting out "fires" (chunks of playdough placed all around) with a purple chapstick Louise found.  Next it will be ballerina dress up, then letter writing to loved ones, then around 5 I'll probably cave and put on a cooking show to which Ainsley will respond with intent concentration and Louise will mimic the chefs every moves with her play utenstils and chefs hat.

Ah, so even and off day.  It's really pretty grand.