Things I Miss

Perhaps it is the imminent threat of "modified" bedrest for 7 weeks, or just the usual third trimester slump but despite everything that's been going on the past few days I find myself lamenting the loss of many things.

1. My body. Looking through pictures of our trip to Minnesota was depressing, as was seeing myself in the full length mirrors in Orvis today. I am HUGE! I don't mind my round belly but my untoned thighs and arms are driving me insane and with the midwife order to "take it easy" there's not a whole lot that I can do about it for at least a couple more months which brings me to...

2. Exercise. I can't tell you how much I'm craving a good 5 mile run with music blasting in my ears and 100 crunches and stretching at the end. It's been too long since my heart has really pounded and it's hard. I also miss walking everywhere with Ainsley. Last summer we walked EVERYWHERE, to do errands, go to parks, the pool, now I'm lucky if I make it up the block to the park without getting a shooting pain down my tailbone and braxton hicks.

3. Productivity. While I used to enjoy taking ainsley's naptime to do something for myself I'm getting rather bored of needing to rest. I work best with really productive days that start when your feet hit the floor and end when your head hits the pillow. A good grocery run in the morning is enough to put me over the edge these days. It's depressing, especially since there's so much more I want to do before the baby comes.

4. Feeling hungry. I'd forgotten this stage when you never really feel hungry, because the baby is taking up all the extra room in your belly. When I do feel "hungry" now it's that gross empty stomach for too long sick feeling. I miss sitting down for a good meal and feeling satisfied, not sick and ready to burst.

5. Getting dressed in the morning. Ok, this may go along with #1 but I literally DREAD picking out clothes for the day. Probably because a. I'd really rather be naked because in this heat we've been having lately that seems to be the only comfortable option and b. I feel like a whale in everything and it's really hard to go out in public knowing how hideous you look. I've never been one to care much about fashion, but I do mind knowingly looking like a stuffed pork sausage. Ugh.

There are of course, perks to this stage of pregnancy. The excitement that meeting our new little girl is just around the corner. The excuse (when I want to) of needing to rest and take things easy (having Ian cook and clean up dinner has been great!) Feeling the baby move around and kick me more and more every day. Having strangers congratulate me and ask questions about the baby, because it's now quite clear that I'm pregnant.

I try to keep these things in mind when I cringe as I look in the mirror or feel bad about not getting as much done as I want to or being virtually immobile at times. I know the second I meet our little girl, hold her for the first time, see that look in Ian's eyes (and now Ainsley's) as they greet our new family member, all of this will be worth it, over and over again.