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I want to start by thanking everyone for their thoughts and support over the past few days as we've uncovered a few issues that have arisen. It means so much to know that there are so many people thinking of us and praying for this little one. So thank you again.

The ultrasound yesterday started off well. We got another look at our sweet little girl who is *growing beautifully and getting stronger everyday. Then came time to check my cervical length and the borderline antisocial technician (why is it that most ultrasound techs are SO emotion-less?) just stated "yes, you have a short cervix." Not what I wanted to hear, but not unexpected. But how short was it? Was I starting to dilate? I got no details at the ultrasound and had to wait until we drove home from downtown and talked to the midwives.

The news was not good.

A normal cervix at 30 weeks is more than 3cm long. Under 2 cm puts you at a higher risk for preterm labor/birth. Mine is 1.2, funneled, and the funneled part is dilated to 2cm right near the baby's head.

The midwife kept talking calmly about the next steps to take. I vaguely remember hearing, strict bedrest, chance of going into labor in the next 2 weeks is high, choosing a hospital with a level 3 nicu to give birth at, steroid shots to advance the baby's lung development.

I was in complete shock. I got off the phone and completely fell apart. How is this happening? AGAIN. How is it so much worse this time around? Why is my body doing this? Is there anything that I could have done to prevent it?

The guilt and sadness that I felt, and still feel, is overwhelming. The one thing that keeps me positive for at least brief intervals is remembering how scared I was when I went through this with Ainsley and that everything turned out fine in the end.

At this point the goal is to make it to 32 weeks, the next big landmark for the baby. I can't let my mind go further than that because I need to just focus on now.

After laying down for the second half of the day yesterday the braxton hicks FINALLY subsided for the first time in weeks and I could feel my body relax. While it is going to be one of the hardest things I've done to lie down day after day and NOT do all of the millions of things on my mental list of to dos before the baby comes, it's all I can do for her and I pray that it's enough.

My mom is driving down from Minnesota today to stay with us and take care of Ainsley so that I can get the rest the baby, and my uterus, needs, and so that Ian can at least get some work done. I don't know what I'd do without her.

So, one day at a time. Each day the baby gets bigger and stronger. I'll update when I can but I'm really trying to LAY, not even sit up, at least for these next few critical weeks and typing on my back is a bit uncomfortable.

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and prayers. I ask that you continue to keep this little one in them, and I'll do my best to keep her in me.