Waiting Game

I'm bored.  Am I allowed to say that?  Can it even be true?  Must be, because I am.  Any drive to do anything not related to this baby coming is nonexistent.  But once I admitted that to myself and let it go, it's gotten easier.

I'm remembering becoming a new mom so vividly these days.  Harkening back to those 12 days off of bedrest with Ainsley just waiting for her to come.  Being unsure about false labors, thinking my water had broken (then REALLY having my water break, how could I not have known?!).  But mostly the anticipation of how life was going to change, the excitement, the complete and total lack of control.  What a ride.

I also remember when she was a newborn, and as much as I loved her and being a new mom I already longed for her to be bigger, older.  I dreamed ahead to those days when I'd have older kids to pull me through those duldrum days that feel like all work and no thanks.

Well now I'm there, and I must say, it's amazing.  Somehow alongside being their mom and keeping up with our lives I've been able to get ready for this baby.  Little One's nursery is ready, diapers are washed and folded, new tiny bottles and pacifiers are bought and washed waiting.  Just today I finally tackled our bedroom, cleaned it to the nines, rearranged it so the tub will fit in one corner, our bed in the other, just waiting for our baby to be born there, welcomed there, loved to bits and pieces, right there.

diaper sorting

Now when I cook, I cook big.  Full, double batches of chilis and soups, roasts and casseroles, stashing the extras in the freezer for those first days when all that really matters is tending to our new family, though I suppose we'll still need to eat.

But I do plan on making at least one large batch of this baked oatmeal (recipe in we have a rhythm post).  Far and away the best oatmeal I've ever tasted. (Notes:: Added full amount of berries, mixed frozen worked beautifully, subbed 1% and half and half for the whole milk, worked just fine...Mmmmmm)

Really I am so thankful the baby hasn't come yet.  It's given me a few days (and maybe a few more, weeks even) to be a bit more me again.  Today I went for the longest walk I could manage (1.5 miles) while pumping my running tunes loud. I played a midday game of scrabble with my boy while my too big to nap everyday girls enjoyed snacks and Mary Poppins in the basement.  I sewed a bit for the nursery while my girls played "roast beast feast".  I cooked dinner with my girls, Ainsley making her first dish all by herself, even using a big girl knife to chop carrots (with close supervision of course).  It's been a wonderful day, a reminder of how great we are together, how simple and joyful and fun life can be.

"carrot pennies" from her new cookbook (they were delicious)

And really?  I'm just 37 weeks (ok, ALMOST 38), in theory, we could have lots of time.  I am thankful for this life of mine that keeps moving forward, for my family who needs me and supports me and is just as excited as I am for this baby to come.  Because this baby belongs to all of us, they're part of our unit, our clan, our brood.   And as antsy as I am and as hard as it is to wait, I'm doing my best to savor right now, because today has been pretty amazing.