Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Baby or 36 Weeks!!!

When I was pregnant with Ainsley it was mostly glorious.  We were over the moon to start our family, spent whole evenings talking about names, paint choices for the nursery, baby must haves we needed to aquire, so so excited ALL the time.  Family and friends were pretty stoked too.  The first grandchild on both sides, the first baby among our like aged couples.  Lots of excitement there too.

There was also lots of "enjoy all this attention while you can, because once that baby comes, oh boy, it will never be about you again."

They were right.

Because once you have a baby?  Well, then you're a mom.  A role that can never be shelved or departed from for even the briefest of moments.  Oh boy were they right.

If I had my way right now I'd be laying around all the time sipping on sparkling lemon seltzer and alternating handfuls of jellybeans and forkfulls of greek farro salad. I'd attend to every discomfort, get up only when I felt like it.  Take two, maybe three baths a day, definitely at least one good nap, and my only errands would be for fun, just to get out and soak in the knowing glances and kind words of strangers wishing me well.  Ahh, that'd be nice, but of course, not at all reality.

Right now reality is all about my sick little Ainsley (two full days down with a stomach bug), my recovering boy (back at work full time, thank goodness, but still not quite himself), entertaining my hilarious, sweet as can be toddler, and keeping up this house that my father in law left in immaculate shape (with Ian's help of course), oh yeah, and feeding us somehow.

Even on the best of days, it's a big load.

Asking for help last week helped me let go of a lot of it, pare down and back even more.  Today we somehow made it to Costco to restock on some essentials.  Bulk groceries are key during this time I've found.  We have cheese and eggs and coffee and yogurt that should last for weeks.  Here's hoping because I don't see myself doing that errand again any time soon.

Then just as I feel myself getting overwhelmed and over tired I stop myself and am reminded of what a gift this pregnancy has been.  How lucky I am to be able to be waddling around Costco with my girls rather than laid up on the couch worried about a premature baby.

still apparently too lazy to wipe down the mirror before I take a belly photo though...

Because friends?  I'm 36 weeks along.  Full into the 9th month of this pregnancy.  My next appointment is Thursday.  I get to take home the birth tub that day, and then?  I'm home free.  From that point on whenever this baby decides to come, they'll be coming at home.

Right now it feels too good to be true (and really it is for a few more days still, I know not to jump the gun).  I know enough to know we can only plan so much, that this baby and my body will dictate the rest.  So you know what? I'm not over planning.  I know where the tub will go should we choose to fill it, know the plan for the girls when the time comes, have prepared them as much as I can for how I think things will go down.  I have my hospital bag packed and a sweet little first outfit for the baby.  Tons of towels and blankets and other essentials all waiting and ready in the room.  Other than that?  We wait, we live life.  We marvel at every belly gyration and giant kick, knowing that once this baby comes, there will be no more of that in mommy's tummy.  We guess who this baby is then practically side with Louise's sentiment of "we don't know yet!  We have to wait and see".

So right now I'm feeling it all, anxious and ready, sore and done done DONE as all get out, but over flowing with thankfulness too.  Just a few more days little one, then you're welcome to join us whenever you wish.  We're ready, we're patient (for now), we simply can't wait!