The last few nights I've found myself (dare I say it?) bored. There it is. I'm bored. After two goofed up knitting projects my hands are officially weary of the needle and with no real NEED to sew anything now that the girls' summer duds are complete I'm lacking any motivation to sew. Once the girls are down I stare at the clock, for the first time in years, and am at a loss.
At first it was actually kind of nice. I can't recall the last time I've just sat, taken an aimless bath without cookbooks of craft books to scour, meals to plan, to dos running my mind rampant. But now the freedom is almost paralyzing.
I've realized that part of what I've struggled with with this new found "free time" is guilt. Shouldn't I be doing something amazing and productive with this free time? like everyone else seems to be? Not necessarily. I don't blog to be famous or make money, I don't knit and sew to sell anything or make a business, I don't craft and plan activities for the soul purpose of writing about them. In all honesty it's great. I am able to be here and present for my girls and boy. Have energy for fun and play. The end of the day finds us with full bellies and a clean house. I don't think there's much time for much else. Oh boredom. I've missed you so.
Nuggets::
It's no secret that our Ainsley May has been a little fashionista since birth. The moment she could speak. wait no, dress herself (so 9 months old?) she's been dictating her wardrobe with fierce opinion and zeal. Her latest trademark? Layers. and no, I'm not talking a tank top under a sweater or skirt on top of leggings, but layers upon layers of clothes.
Behold.
::this is how Ainsley bounded down the stairs after nap time Monday::
::yes, that's 4 dresses, 5 tutus, 2 two piece swimsuits and of course footie jammies::
::she was quite delighted with herself, twirling and leaping around::
::until exactly one hour later she promptly and dramatically pleaded "mama, HELP ME! I'm so hot in here I think I'm going to melt!!!" of course you are Ainsley girl::
I wonder what trend we'll see next?
Nuggets::
We had Louise's 18 month well visit Monday. My little doctor Ainsley was enthralled with it all as usual and so helpful when her sister was equally weary. Louise warmed up to our sweet doctor quickly and charmed him with her chatter and smiles and giggles. Our girl is leaning out, now 25 lbs, up a mere pound in 4 months, right in the middle of the pack for her age. Running around in her diaper she looked so old! Hold on Louise, I'm not ready yet!
Ahh the bursting beauty of springtime nature. The girls took their nature bags out for their inaugural run this week and oh the treasures they found. Ainsley's was stuffed to the gills with dandelions in all states of being. The white puff balls are of course a favorite, as are sticks with leaves still attached. We took a full hour to walk 4 blocks. My kind of discovery.
Watercolors are our new crayons. So easy to set up and clean up, so many possibilities. Today we greeted the (much too early) morning with herbal tea and paint. What a way to start the day.
Nuggets::
While I am patiently waiting for my zeal to return to complete a few sewing projects, I see knitting sitting on the back burner for a while. Poor Louise's new sweater was not meant to be. After determining that the gauge was just not right (yes about 3/4 of the way through! :oP) I'm leaving it on holders to resurrect next year when she really NEEDS a new sweater. That yarn is too nice to go to waste. But the real deciding factor in scrapping that project? Her spring sweater from last year was found in a bin downstairs and it still fits! While the sleeves are short the length and girth are perfect and with a long sleeve underneath it keeps her toasty warm. Oh how thankful I am that I've learned to knit big!
::moving her lunch to her own "table", inspired by Heidi,
the girls both LOVE to sit at their own tiny tables while eating ::
::sporting her 12 month sweater, circa 2011, you're so vintage Louise::
::the sad almost finished but unfinished sweater, til next year peony pink!::
::homemade garden gloves! SO easy and I dare say they may actually work!::
Ok, so this counts as both a success and defeat. I thought I'd finished my luscious magnificent shawl on sunday, a mere 4 days after casting on, only to find upon completion that it is in fact child sized...those circular needles can be quite deceiving. I can't bring myself to tear out the edging just yet, but rest assured I will, and make it right. It's too beautiful not to be perfect.
In the midst of all that what-am-I-doing-here-and-why-am-I-doing-it nonsense of late I stumbled upon something. While cleaning out our closet I found this...
the first sweater I ever made. Ok, second (mom it's really ok, I totally forgive you for shrinking my first, the label DID say cold wash :o). It reminded me that before all this blogging and child rearing and making do I really loved to make things. I made this sweater at the end of high school. It's a simple raglan cardigan, knit top down just like I like, with antique-esque silver buttons. There are days when I feel so far from who I was as a girl, a young woman. It's been amazing to have a physical reminder that I'm actually very much like her still, and perhaps she knew me all along.
Speaking of cleaning closets...I've had an epiphany. Well, several actually. Now that I'm officially not in a pregnant or taking care of a nursing infant stage anymore I decided it was time to take some serious stock in how I take care of myself. After YEARS of feeling tired most days (despite good sleep) and flustered about clutter and mess in our home I aimed to do something about it. And let me tell you, I haven't felt this good since college. My secrets...
1. Take Vitamins
I've been taking vitamins regularly for about a month now. It take them at night so as not to upset my stomach. I take the Melaleuca vitamins with a calcium vit D supplement and a florify to regulate tummy troubles. I feel amazing.
2. Clean Up
Oh goodness, this is an every day battle. If I let things go for even one day the mess becomes insurmountable. The first step for me was to clear out clutter. I have bags upon BAGS of old clothes, books and toys in the basement just awaiting donation (or the motivation for a garage sale). Slowly through the winter I went through every drawer, shelf and closet and got rid of everything that wasn't an essential or that I didn't' absolutely love. Now that everything in our home has a place clean ups are so much simpler. And now that I have two little capable helpers? we clean up after we play, rather than leave the mess and move on. And if all else fails? at the end of the day when we're all zonked and awaiting Ian's arrival I crank some tunes and turn the timer on for a 10 minute speed dance party clean up. It's simply AMAZING what a focused 10 minute clean can produce. Oh how it's changed my life.
3. Exercise.
So I've been running, you know that. I thought it was going to be so much harder and time sucking to train for my upcoming race. I have been so pleasantly surprised to see how fast my body has gotten back into shape and how relatively easy it was, and continues to be. Most days Ian's home in time for me to run before the girls go to bed, if not? I run with them in the jogging stroller after nap time. I take advantage of the weekends and get in a good 5-6 miler (or two). It's felt so good to have so much alone time in a week. Running keeps me even and the endorphins are working wonders. I'm happier, I'm calmer, I'm more patient. It's all good.
4. Slack.
this new boredom thing has really rocked my world. I can't remember the last time I've had free time to play with. Now that I've accepted just sitting for a bit or relaxing or even going to bed early, it's been amazing. I've found it's crossed over into my days with the girls. Now that I'm not planning so much we do lots of aimless walking, lounging in the backyard talking about what we see and hear. Discovering and playing. I think it's good for kids and grown ups alike to be bored every now and again. It awakens creativity, calms the soul. We're liking the slack.
After typing out these nuggets last week poor Ainsley has fallen ill. She was so off at the beginning of the week, I feared we were slipping back into old wiley ways. Alas she's sick with a good spring cold and mild fever. We've spent the morning watching more Little House than I care to admit while Louise and I cleared and cleaned out toys and books. We had such fun finding old treasures and switching over favorites. I hope to get out for a walk this afternoon, even if it's just a few blocks. My big girl is quite wiped and in dire need of her mama. That's just fine with me.
Happy Hump Day!
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