Felix the boy

Six years ago I wasn't a parent at all.  I had just found out that I was pregnant with Ainsley.  I was working as an aide in a kindergarten class at an amazing progressive child centered elementary school.  I was abuzz with anticipation and joy.  How was I possibly going to be able to wait 8 more months to meet my first little baby?

Six years later, my third baby is turning one.

It's easy to get caught up in milestones with little ones running around all day.  First smile! First tooth!  First real crawl! First words!  FIRST STEPS!!!!  I've done a terrible job keeping track of these big firsts with our third baby.  Poor Felix's baby book is nearly empty.  There just has not been time, or more truthfully, it's not been a priority for me anymore.

My little people are changing so fast, to spend too much time agonizing over it, documenting it, only means I'm missing out more.  So with this little guy, my third tiny baby, I've been soaking it all in.

Felix boy, I will never ever forget the day that you were born.  Your birth was a dream come true for me, your whole pregnancy, really.  When I found out I was pregnant for the third time I secretly hoped for a boy.  I planned for your arrival meticulously, made you oodles of things, dreamt and prayed and imagined who you would be.  Then you came.  So easily into this world, into my arms.  You were born.  "It's a boy!" Your dad declared.  "It's Felix!" I replied.  We cried.  I just stared at you in awe.  I'm still in awe that you are here.  My little boy.

The past year has simply flown.  You have been such a wonderful little baby.  You tolerate your sister's adoration of you quite well, and all the toting around you must endure.  You are growing up so much, especially these last few months.  You want to be a part of whatever we're doing, you scream loudly to pipe in, you sing, you dance, you move so very fast, you stand up with no hands and have taken just a few tentative steps.  You are finally sleeping all the way through the night, have given up your pacifier entirely, still love a good bottle but are happy with milk in a cup now too.  You have been all done nursing for about two months.  I was very sad about it at first, but it's fitting that my big guy is ready to be done.  You can be quite stoic and remind me SO much of your dad in temperament and personality.  I can still get a good belly laugh out of you with a good under the chin tickle or a rousing round of chase on all fours.  You are still so snuggly and are happy on my left hip or nestled right under my chin.  When we're playing on the floor you often come find me, just to flop down on my tummy.  I love that I'm still your home base, you need me around.  I need you too my little guy.

Today on your first birthday I remember your birth.  I remember those first awe soaked days of snuggles and spring breezes and sweet newborn you.  I remember you growing and learning and seamlessly fitting into our cooky family.  I remember how much you are loved, by all of us, how your sisters have shown not one bit of malice towards you since the day you arrived.  You were made for us little guy.  Today I remember how lucky were are to have you and how excited we are to see you grow.

Happy first birthday little Buboo!  We couldn't love you more.