Bit and Pieces

I've been trying to get a post up for days, ironically, about not have enough time to complete the things I need to get done.  So this morning  after groceries and bill paying I made this a priority, it's still not where I want it, but it has words and pictures.  I guess it will have to do.

What I'd really like, right now, is time.
A few whole days to myself to get it all done.
A morning to get a run in, in the  kind of timely fashion that I used to take for granted. Get to take advantage of those endorphins for once.
Time to scour the house.  Clean all the windows and floors and bathrooms and ceiling fans in one big go.  Time to declutter, especially toys and books without kiddos getting in the way begging for me to keep it all because it's suddenly all so precious and importnant.
Time to take a nap to rejuvenate for an afternoon filled with finishing all the crafts I have lined up for Felix's birthday and easter.  Two buttons downs, linen overalls, two tiered skirts, two gold thread sewn mermaids, two hand embroidered felt balls, one tiny stuffed dog, one giant pocketed stuffed rocket ship.
I know I could do it all given one big energy filled day.
Sigh.

I CRAVE big chunks of time to really get things done, start to finish, just for once.
Double sigh.

I keep stumbling upon these epiphanies of parenting and how hard it is, how much it's changed my life.  Right now it's overwhelmingly THIS.  Having so terribly much to do and so little time to do it in.

My time right now is completely spoken for just caring for my little people.  It is hilariously hard most days, just to clothe and feed, keep them safe and happy.  Felix is speed crawling, opening every cupboard and toilet seat, flying up stairs, cruising along furniture.  So now I drag our two gates up and down our two flights of stairs all day long.  I have to lift the girls over them at the tops and bottoms.  I have to help them get into the bathrooms because the doors now have to always be closed to keep Felix out and our old doors close so tight even Ainsley can't muscle them open most times.
Last night during bath time, I had a moment thinking I truly would just pass out on the floor.  My body was so incredibly exhausted from our day of doctors appointments, grocery shopping, turning soil and raking and cutting back weeds, making dinner, cleaning up.  It's so so much.  Goodness gracious.

Ah, but then there's all that, a wonderful week with my kids, warm sun and breezes, picnics and bike rides, garden planting and chores done.  This last weekend was perfection, so much fun with friends, a trim painting date for Ian and I, Easter egg hunt for the kids, Sunday night roast and mashed potatoes and red wine.

I still feel overwhelmed, perhaps that's just my new MO.  I'm trusting and hopeful that it will all get done, that someone I'll figure out how to make it all work, or at least get used to this segmented life.

Someday I'll have all the time in the world to myself.  Right now it's nice to be so needed, so very busy.  Life is good and hard and full.  I'm thankful for that.

Happy Monday!