Our first Thanksgiving at home was wonderful. I know my in laws always fear I prepare and cook too much, but really? What job could be better than feeding and caring for the ones you love? So we ate, clearly, and lounged, and simply enjoyed each others' company.
Friday, we ventured downtown to the annual German christmas market in Daley Plaza which was SWARMING, but we enjoyed bratwurst and gluhwein anyways. It's been ages since I've been downtown, and even with the crowds I was impressed by how easy it was. I'll have to go back again soon.
On Saturday it rained, but we planned well. We picked out our tree just as the first drizzle fell and got it home and set up in no time. The girls LOVE the tree. Louise could just sit staring at it, pulling off the plush ornaments for hours. And Ainsley loves to "feed" the tree with water. She delicately places it's lower branches in the full stand and talks to the tree "it's ok tree, I know you're thirsty. Here's some yummy water for you. There you go." We were so efficient in decorating and rearranging that it almost feels anticlimactic. Usually there is such a build up to all of this and this year it just kind of happened. Wonderful.
Sunday morning we awoke to a quiet house. Nana and grandpa Dan made their departure before the sun. I was excited for breakfast out with a friend and a calm lazy day with my family, then Ian woke up with a fever and plans changed. I became single parent and spent the day indoors with girls thanks to MORE rain. It really was a good day, just long and more tiring than I had planned.
So here we are on Monday, normal errands run, ready for the week. It feels wonderful and strange all at once to be home, so relaxed. Usually this time of year we are just arriving back from the holiday trek. I am scurrying to do laundry and plan gifts and decorate. Last night I sat down with my planner to meticulously account for each holiday project I want to accomplish with the girls, and came up short. I wrote down the few things that I simply MUST accomplish, and my mind blanked and eased.
I've found that when I force so much structure and activity into our lives, I miss out on the DOING for the PLANNING. Yesterday I found myself saying NO to Ainsley far too much. "No Ainsley, you can't sit on my lap. Mommy is trying to make a grocery list" "No Ainsley, Mommy can't play with you right now, I'm making our christmas card list" No Louise, mommy can't hold you, I am too busy worrying and planning". Ok, so maybe I didn't say no to holding Louise, but I sure wanted to.
Lately I feel like if it's not in my planned activities with them, I don't have time for it, which is simply ridiculous. Why did I want kids? Not to NOT play with them and enjoy them, that's for sure. When all this adult stuff gets in the way of that I get annoyed and frustrated and feel spread way too thin. So I'm trying to cut back. Really? It takes a few quick moments to pay bills, make lists and plan. The rest of that time? My lap is always open, my ears are clear and my eyes are locked and focused on them.
It occurs to me a little more every day how fast and furious my little ones are growing. I love them so desperately and wish that ALL we could do was play. So I'm trying to create that illusion for them, that life is easy and fun and free. I want to bear that adult hurry scurry burden for them, without it affecting out lives too much. I'm getting there. This coffee break is really helping.
Today I am thankful for napping girls and quiet time, for a healthy husband and a festive home. I am thankful for a slow easy mind and a full week.
I'll post Thanksgiving photos with Wednesday nuggets. Happy Monday everyone!
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