Oh boy. If I've ever needed a day off from being a mom, today would be the day.
There's nothing spectacular about today. The girls have school, I had to take Felix in for a vaccine, we needed bread so we went to the bakery and got that, a number 5 candle too for Ainsley's birthday coming up so soon.
I'm just spent. Felix is not sleeping AGAIN. I feel like a broken record, but it's hard when you don't get sleep. It's like when you don't get enough food. It's all I can think about. I dream of sleep when everyone else is napping, but I can't sleep then because there's always too much to do. I dream of sleep the minute I wake up and the minute I lay my head down. But I never get it in increments of more than 3 hours these days. I don't know what's going on. It's eating away at my soul, and REALLY affecting my mood.
This morning I had absolutely nothing in my reserves. At one point while trying to get all the kids seated for breakfast I SHOUTED at the TOP of my lungs (while both Louise and Felix were screaming at the tops of theirs) I DON'T WANT TO TO MY JOB TODAY!!!!! (over and over and over).
And I don't. Today I want to be completely by myself. I want to take a long hot shower and towel dry my hair, and slip on some clean clothes and crawl into my warm bed and sleep. I want to sleep until I've had enough sleep and then I want to wake up on my own. Not because my baby needs me or because Louise is kicking the wall next to my face or because Ainsley is hissing at her sister. Then I want to come downstairs to a quiet clean house. Clean because I cleaned it up yesterday and no one dismantled it for once. Then I want to turn on an old favorite movie. Perhaps something seasonal like White Christmas or It's a Wonderful life. I want to knit something, just for fun, not for a gift or a timeline. Perhaps keep working on that cap sleeved sweater for me that's been waiting since this time last year. Then I want to cook something, because I do like cooking. Something simple and delicious like risotto with a glass of wine on the side. When the sun starts to dip I want to curl up by a fire (because in this fantasy we have a fireplace that works) and delve further into my current obsession The Goldfinch and just get lost in this wonderful story. Then when my eyes feel heavy I'll head up to bed, again, for more uninterrupted glorious sleep. Then I'll wake up, and THEN maybe I can be a good mom again.
Ah. Perhaps just typing that out will be enough huh? Or perhaps this five minutes of sitting, sipping on coffee, in a quiet warm house while my boy sleeps and my girls play at school, perhaps this will be enough, it has to be enough. Because after this five minutes it's back to reality. To a very messy house despite my best efforts, to a tribe that so needs me, to a very tired boy tonight who deserves my pep and optimism and smiles.
Families are such a tremendous blessing, but DANG, they are a whole lot of work. Today I wish i had a break from it all, but I don't, so I'll take my five minutes and I'll breathe, and I'll remember how blessed I am, and I'll pray like mad that Felix sleeps tonight and life will go right along.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Rolling Along
December just keeps rolling right along.
Each week seems to end with something big that keeps us focused and humming and merry.
This last week it was the girls cookie walk at school. 16 dozen decorated cookies later I thought I may not have one ounce of cheer left for the actual event on Saturday. Couple that with solo parenting most of the weekend while Ian writes a grant at work and I was sure it was going to be rough. But it wasn't, not at all. We had a blast picking out cookies and seeing all the girls' teachers and friends and school.
The merriness just keeps on coming and it's been a great (if not extremely tiring) weekend.
Each week seems to end with something big that keeps us focused and humming and merry.
This last week it was the girls cookie walk at school. 16 dozen decorated cookies later I thought I may not have one ounce of cheer left for the actual event on Saturday. Couple that with solo parenting most of the weekend while Ian writes a grant at work and I was sure it was going to be rough. But it wasn't, not at all. We had a blast picking out cookies and seeing all the girls' teachers and friends and school.
The merriness just keeps on coming and it's been a great (if not extremely tiring) weekend.
Almost five years later I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of some things. One being having my bigs girls' birthday the day before Christmas. Somehow we always seem to find the time to prepare for her special day and Christmas too. This year we're finding it in pockets of time. Little bits here and there to discuss and craft and ready. On Friday we got all the party bags ready. Ainsley wrote the name of every one of her friends on their bags and then we all decorated with new stamps and markers. Louise wrote her own name on her bag. Ainsey carefully chose the gifts for each friend and they're waiting in the basement for her fun morning next weekend. I may be just as excited as she is (no way I could be MORE excited).
Christmas is yet again catching me a bit off guard. I felt so prepared about a month ago and now I feel like I'm treading water. I'm not worried about the things that I still have to make, just the purchases. It's dreadfully hard to get out with my little people these days that any outing needs a careful orchestration and preparedness that I rarely have the stamina for. So I'm learning to use my weekends well, as much as I dislike being out with the crowds. It's worth it for quiet afternoons at home.
This weekend those afternoons, and mornings with daddy working have been filled with activity. I pulled out Felix's newly felted stocking to needle felt and the girls were enthralled with my roving wool. So I switched gears and went to work with them on projects of their own. They are loving their new craft. For those interested I simply use small squares of 100% wool felt, merino roving, a needle felting "sponge" and needles. The girls choose their felt and roving and place the sponge below their project, then place the felt where they'd like it to go and poke away until the wool agitates enough to hold. I of course help lots. It's quite tricky to hold the wool in place and felt at the same time and those needles are sharp! but they get such satisfactions out of it and I am thrilled.
Another fun "project" of late is preparing for the arrival of baby Jesus. One night I constructed this hilarious manger out of popsicle sticks (it was actually quite fun) and put tiny balls of yarn and scissors in the girls' advent stocking for the morning. They were puzzled. Then I explained. Each time they went out of their way to do something kind of helpful they could cut a length of yarn to place in baby Jesus' bed. Each day the pile will (hopefully!) grow and grow with yarn to make a soft warm place for the baby to lay. I plan to sew a small swaddled doll to place in the manger on Christmas. I hope it's a simple reminder of the real reason we celebrate this time of year.
So today I am tired. I feel bad for Ian having to work so much over the weekend and the next few days. But I am thankful for the snow we're getting today and for the fun in the week ahead preparing for Ainsey's birthday and then next week readying for Christmas in earnest. It's coming up so fast and I'm getting rather excited for it all.
I hope you have all had a good weekend!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Bad Dreams
I have not been sleeping well lately, and for the first time in over 7 months it's not because of my baby. Ok, it's a bit the baby, he's still up once a night most nights, and a bit Louise and her persistent cough, but mostly it's stress, yucky adult stress.
I've been having nightmares too. Hilariously transparent nightmares. The first night we had to evacuate (too much homeland I think?) and I couldn't find my knitting to pack in my bag. I was frantically looking for that yarn all night. Then it was house hunting. I dreamt we'd found our perfect house and when we went to look at it there were at least 30 other people there all making offers, just writing their bids out on a piece of paper. Ian and I were so preoccupied in that dream that we left our children behind when we drove away, ensue double panic.
These dreams are obviously a symptom of how I've been feeling lately, totally frazzled and anxious and out of control. I'm trying so hard to take life day by day, focus on Christmas coming up and Ainsley's 5th birthday. It's hard though, knowing that the new year is most likely going to find our family dealing with a whole lot of changes, again. I'm getting pretty tired of change, of the unknown. While I so want to be a go with the flow person I'm not at all. I need plans and expectations. It's so hard for me to live in limbo and not be actively figuring out all that is to come, worse yet? admit that I can't figure it out and I just have to wait and see how it all plays out. Sigh, it's been tough.
It helps to vent to Ian and my mom, to do what little I can to feel prepared, to immerse myself in my kids and this favorite season of ours.
We're going the stocking advent again this year and the girls love it. I've already dropped the ball two mornings when I was too tired the night before and they had to wait until after school for their surprises. The first day the girls got a new book, and their chocolate advent calendars from Trader Joes. Then they got new paperback books from the dollar section, then new hair bows. Today I'm thinking of putting in a craft idea, a cute christmas wreath craft I found online, or some fun coloring pages. I'm trying to keep it fun but simple. We've been baking so much lately I'm holding off on any cookie baking promises until the weekend. The girls were so patient while we made the 16 dozen cookies for their school fundraiser. They can't wait much longer to make their own cookies even if I am all cookied out!
And my Felix boy, ah, he always helps. He is so snuggly and happy and I just love him to pieces. He's starting to move around a bit, scooting on his bottom and up on all fours rocking and reaching. He continues to eat more and more everyday. I think I've made about 12 batches of baby food for him so far, way more than either of the girls ate. He's even moved on to finger foods, grabbing puffs pincher style with ease. Yesterday he ate more pirates booty than the girls at lunch! I had to get some photos of him eating it. He was so happy and pleased with himself. Me too tiny guy, you are getting so big!
I've been having nightmares too. Hilariously transparent nightmares. The first night we had to evacuate (too much homeland I think?) and I couldn't find my knitting to pack in my bag. I was frantically looking for that yarn all night. Then it was house hunting. I dreamt we'd found our perfect house and when we went to look at it there were at least 30 other people there all making offers, just writing their bids out on a piece of paper. Ian and I were so preoccupied in that dream that we left our children behind when we drove away, ensue double panic.
These dreams are obviously a symptom of how I've been feeling lately, totally frazzled and anxious and out of control. I'm trying so hard to take life day by day, focus on Christmas coming up and Ainsley's 5th birthday. It's hard though, knowing that the new year is most likely going to find our family dealing with a whole lot of changes, again. I'm getting pretty tired of change, of the unknown. While I so want to be a go with the flow person I'm not at all. I need plans and expectations. It's so hard for me to live in limbo and not be actively figuring out all that is to come, worse yet? admit that I can't figure it out and I just have to wait and see how it all plays out. Sigh, it's been tough.
It helps to vent to Ian and my mom, to do what little I can to feel prepared, to immerse myself in my kids and this favorite season of ours.
We're going the stocking advent again this year and the girls love it. I've already dropped the ball two mornings when I was too tired the night before and they had to wait until after school for their surprises. The first day the girls got a new book, and their chocolate advent calendars from Trader Joes. Then they got new paperback books from the dollar section, then new hair bows. Today I'm thinking of putting in a craft idea, a cute christmas wreath craft I found online, or some fun coloring pages. I'm trying to keep it fun but simple. We've been baking so much lately I'm holding off on any cookie baking promises until the weekend. The girls were so patient while we made the 16 dozen cookies for their school fundraiser. They can't wait much longer to make their own cookies even if I am all cookied out!
And my Felix boy, ah, he always helps. He is so snuggly and happy and I just love him to pieces. He's starting to move around a bit, scooting on his bottom and up on all fours rocking and reaching. He continues to eat more and more everyday. I think I've made about 12 batches of baby food for him so far, way more than either of the girls ate. He's even moved on to finger foods, grabbing puffs pincher style with ease. Yesterday he ate more pirates booty than the girls at lunch! I had to get some photos of him eating it. He was so happy and pleased with himself. Me too tiny guy, you are getting so big!
I feel the season just soaring by. I'm hoping we get another snow soon and I REALLY hope it's snowy when we're in Minnesota for Christmas. These girls are Minnesotans at heart and sure miss the snow in the winters. Sledding and snow angels and snowmen are where it's at for them.
I hope you all are having a good week!
Festivities and Advent and All Kinds of Fun
This weekend was exactly what I needed.
I woke up on Saturday feeling totally refreshed, a bit odd after a long holiday week and an extra day of work thanks to Ian's extra day of work. Still I took it, took full advantage for once. I told Ian to get out of the house by himself, take advantage of my good mood! please! So he did. Us adults all need a little alone down time. Most always it's him giving it to me. I was happy to oblige him for once.
The girls and I rolled out cookies and baked while Felix slept. In no time 8 dozen were cooling, ready to be decorated for their fun raiser at school. Then Ian came home and Felix was still sleeping so I told him to go ahead and take the girls to get out Christmas tree? Without you? Are you serious? I was serious. I'm just so big and grown up these days. I can be reasonable and practical when I need to be! (sometimes).
So they went and picked out the most perfectly little dumpling of a tree and we spent the afternoon adorning it. Ainsley and Louise had every ormanet hung in about 15 minutes. We admired our work, brought the rest of the decorations up and set those up too. Then we were ansty, so I took ainsley on a run up to the park. We did 4 laps, aout a mile. She started off SO fast and melted to the pavement about 3/4 of the way around the first lap. I'm trying to teach her about pacing. It's a very difficult concept for a 4 year old. She stuck it out though and we jogged it in together. Then the weather was so mild and nice we decided to hang our outdoor lights. Louise joined us and we all had a blast checking bulbs and hanging strands on our fence and trees and bushes.
Then we came in and Ian made dinner. Two boxes of macaroni and spicy sausages. I love meals I don't have to cook. Then the girls were tired and I was excited to turn those cuts photos I got from tree decorating into some official Christmas cards. So I did that and had a glass of wine. Ian and I watched two episodes of Big Bang. We went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night panicked that I'd ordered the wrong size of card. I think I did. I think they're going to be huge. Oh well. Small stuff right?
Then Sunday? Sunday we were all pretty tired. But church and Indian buffet and Frozen with my cures cured any of that. We LOVED Frozen. I teared up twice. It was the perfect movie to take my two sweet girls to and I'd recommend it to anyone. It wasn't too sad or scary, just right, with a wonderful message of what true love is (hint/spoiler...it's NOT a prince's kiss!). I loved it.
And now it's Monday and there's lots to do this week. More cookies to bake and decorate, the last few gifts to buy, a fairy pirate party to plan, doctors appointments, and always three little people to love and entertain. I hope this momentum keeps up!
I woke up on Saturday feeling totally refreshed, a bit odd after a long holiday week and an extra day of work thanks to Ian's extra day of work. Still I took it, took full advantage for once. I told Ian to get out of the house by himself, take advantage of my good mood! please! So he did. Us adults all need a little alone down time. Most always it's him giving it to me. I was happy to oblige him for once.
The girls and I rolled out cookies and baked while Felix slept. In no time 8 dozen were cooling, ready to be decorated for their fun raiser at school. Then Ian came home and Felix was still sleeping so I told him to go ahead and take the girls to get out Christmas tree? Without you? Are you serious? I was serious. I'm just so big and grown up these days. I can be reasonable and practical when I need to be! (sometimes).
So they went and picked out the most perfectly little dumpling of a tree and we spent the afternoon adorning it. Ainsley and Louise had every ormanet hung in about 15 minutes. We admired our work, brought the rest of the decorations up and set those up too. Then we were ansty, so I took ainsley on a run up to the park. We did 4 laps, aout a mile. She started off SO fast and melted to the pavement about 3/4 of the way around the first lap. I'm trying to teach her about pacing. It's a very difficult concept for a 4 year old. She stuck it out though and we jogged it in together. Then the weather was so mild and nice we decided to hang our outdoor lights. Louise joined us and we all had a blast checking bulbs and hanging strands on our fence and trees and bushes.
Then we came in and Ian made dinner. Two boxes of macaroni and spicy sausages. I love meals I don't have to cook. Then the girls were tired and I was excited to turn those cuts photos I got from tree decorating into some official Christmas cards. So I did that and had a glass of wine. Ian and I watched two episodes of Big Bang. We went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night panicked that I'd ordered the wrong size of card. I think I did. I think they're going to be huge. Oh well. Small stuff right?
Then Sunday? Sunday we were all pretty tired. But church and Indian buffet and Frozen with my cures cured any of that. We LOVED Frozen. I teared up twice. It was the perfect movie to take my two sweet girls to and I'd recommend it to anyone. It wasn't too sad or scary, just right, with a wonderful message of what true love is (hint/spoiler...it's NOT a prince's kiss!). I loved it.
And now it's Monday and there's lots to do this week. More cookies to bake and decorate, the last few gifts to buy, a fairy pirate party to plan, doctors appointments, and always three little people to love and entertain. I hope this momentum keeps up!
Friday, November 29, 2013
Thanksgiving 2013
I was up at 6 with my tiny guy. HE's sleeping through the night which is glorious. So of course now he's up at the crack of dawn instead of his usual 7:30am arousal. I'll take it. I love calm mornings with my baby.
This morning we made coffee and ogled each other for a bit. Then I thought I'd check out some deals online, excited to find that a few items in my Magic Cabin cart had gone on sale for black friday, ooh carter's too. Party gifts for Ainsley's birthday and stocking stuffers, done and done. Ahh.
Ian had to work today. It makes this weekend feel much less holiday-y I will say. It makes it a bit more interesting too that it's Black Friday meaning venturing out sounds like torture. So inside it is.
This morning the girls and I made three batches of cookie dough. They have a school fundraiser "cookie walk" next weekend and we need to bake 12 dozen decorated cookies to donate. I think the first batch will be fun. I'm preparing for the rest to feel like a whole lot of work. This year we're sticking to the basics. Decorated gingerbread, stained glass sugar cutouts and painted sugar cookies. I hope we have enough stamina to make some more for ourselves a bit later in the season!
The kids are all resting and I just finished rearranging and cleaning the living room. half in preparation for decorating this weekend and half just to scratch that fung shui itch I get about every 4 months. It's nice to get a good deep clean and feel a bit more organized. Especially right on the brink of so much holiday chaos.
I've been struggling a bit this fall with that whole "holiday cheer" feeling. Usually I am SO into it, plans months in advance, excitement of a tiny child etc. etc. This year I'm feeling a bit less gung ho. I'm still pretty tired most days from all this child caring I do. I just want it to be easy and to enjoy it all a bit more.
I am excited for Dec. 1. Today we brought out some decorations to get organized. Last year I segregated the child friendly ones so it should be a relatively easy set up.
I'm most excited for our stocking advent, Ainsley too. She remembered getting to look in the stockings every morning to see what treat awaits them. She's a girl after he mama's heart. I've always been a stocking girl myself. I'm glad I've stashed away some fun treats and goodies, and counting on fun holiday-ey plans and recipes to get us through the rest of the days. For any bit of cheer I'm lacking my girls make up for it. They are SO excited.
Oh, so this post was titled Thanksgiving. I guess I should write about that! We had an awesome day. I'm so bummed we only have ONE photo (of my Gram and her cranberry sauce). I didn't cook or host this year which was so wonderful but it made thhe day so casual fun it hardly felt like an event. I'll have to get the kids dressed up and take a post holiday photo this weekend.
We started our day in jammies with the parades on in the background. Then I made pumpkin pie with the girls. I believe we added almost twice the recommended amount of spices...I left the girls alone with the jars, whoops! Then we made our contribution to our shared meal, green bean casserole, trader joes style. I love their crispy onions and portabello mushroom soup.
Then we headed over to our friend's house for the meal. The girls were SO excited to play with their friend Lily and it was lots of fun to hang out and eat and play with friends. Lizz is an amazing cook and the food was so good. It was the perfect meal.
After stuff in ourselves to the brim we headed back home to whip up some cream, grab our pie and drive up to Winnetka for our second celebration. We went to my aunt and uncle's house and ended up getting to eat a bit more turkey and gravy before our pie and our drive home. The girls had tons of fun with my cousins. My 10th grade cousin Kiley has the most perfect amazing girl bedroom ever and the girls were enamored. It was so much fun to see my Gram too, and her perfect cranberry sauce. It was a great day.
Now I'm looking forward to the weekend. To picking out a tree and decorating a bit, perhaps seeing that new Disney movie with the girls and getting the last of the shopping done. Perhaps I'll even pull out the wrapping paper and get going on that a bit.
I love this time, I'm just trying to live it day by day and eek out every bit of joy from this season and my wonderful family.
This morning we made coffee and ogled each other for a bit. Then I thought I'd check out some deals online, excited to find that a few items in my Magic Cabin cart had gone on sale for black friday, ooh carter's too. Party gifts for Ainsley's birthday and stocking stuffers, done and done. Ahh.
Ian had to work today. It makes this weekend feel much less holiday-y I will say. It makes it a bit more interesting too that it's Black Friday meaning venturing out sounds like torture. So inside it is.
This morning the girls and I made three batches of cookie dough. They have a school fundraiser "cookie walk" next weekend and we need to bake 12 dozen decorated cookies to donate. I think the first batch will be fun. I'm preparing for the rest to feel like a whole lot of work. This year we're sticking to the basics. Decorated gingerbread, stained glass sugar cutouts and painted sugar cookies. I hope we have enough stamina to make some more for ourselves a bit later in the season!
The kids are all resting and I just finished rearranging and cleaning the living room. half in preparation for decorating this weekend and half just to scratch that fung shui itch I get about every 4 months. It's nice to get a good deep clean and feel a bit more organized. Especially right on the brink of so much holiday chaos.
I've been struggling a bit this fall with that whole "holiday cheer" feeling. Usually I am SO into it, plans months in advance, excitement of a tiny child etc. etc. This year I'm feeling a bit less gung ho. I'm still pretty tired most days from all this child caring I do. I just want it to be easy and to enjoy it all a bit more.
I am excited for Dec. 1. Today we brought out some decorations to get organized. Last year I segregated the child friendly ones so it should be a relatively easy set up.
I'm most excited for our stocking advent, Ainsley too. She remembered getting to look in the stockings every morning to see what treat awaits them. She's a girl after he mama's heart. I've always been a stocking girl myself. I'm glad I've stashed away some fun treats and goodies, and counting on fun holiday-ey plans and recipes to get us through the rest of the days. For any bit of cheer I'm lacking my girls make up for it. They are SO excited.
Oh, so this post was titled Thanksgiving. I guess I should write about that! We had an awesome day. I'm so bummed we only have ONE photo (of my Gram and her cranberry sauce). I didn't cook or host this year which was so wonderful but it made thhe day so casual fun it hardly felt like an event. I'll have to get the kids dressed up and take a post holiday photo this weekend.
We started our day in jammies with the parades on in the background. Then I made pumpkin pie with the girls. I believe we added almost twice the recommended amount of spices...I left the girls alone with the jars, whoops! Then we made our contribution to our shared meal, green bean casserole, trader joes style. I love their crispy onions and portabello mushroom soup.
Then we headed over to our friend's house for the meal. The girls were SO excited to play with their friend Lily and it was lots of fun to hang out and eat and play with friends. Lizz is an amazing cook and the food was so good. It was the perfect meal.
After stuff in ourselves to the brim we headed back home to whip up some cream, grab our pie and drive up to Winnetka for our second celebration. We went to my aunt and uncle's house and ended up getting to eat a bit more turkey and gravy before our pie and our drive home. The girls had tons of fun with my cousins. My 10th grade cousin Kiley has the most perfect amazing girl bedroom ever and the girls were enamored. It was so much fun to see my Gram too, and her perfect cranberry sauce. It was a great day.
Now I'm looking forward to the weekend. To picking out a tree and decorating a bit, perhaps seeing that new Disney movie with the girls and getting the last of the shopping done. Perhaps I'll even pull out the wrapping paper and get going on that a bit.
I love this time, I'm just trying to live it day by day and eek out every bit of joy from this season and my wonderful family.
Second Snow
Yesterday it snowed. The flurries started just as I was heading out to pick up the girls from school. It continued right on until the sun went down leaving a thick dusting everywhere. We suited up and enjoyed it unil Felix's pink cheeks pulled us back indoors. We gulped down cups of our homemade hot cocoa and lit candles. It was a delightful afternoon.
This weekend I made an epic grocery run. Two stores, 8 bags, way too much money. Then I cooked and baked and now our freezer and fridge are full. I'm finding it so hard to cook on weekday nights. My little guy only wants to be held from 4:30pm until bedtime. It's such a load off to know that we're covered for about two weeks. Ah, peace.
Iny's Prune Cake
Beef Enchiladas
Marzetti's Spaghetti Pie (from Joy of Cooking)
Comfort Meatballs (served with mashed potatoes, one of the most delicious comforting meals ever)
I've been ordering lots of things for Christmas and Ainsley's birthday. I'm feeling really quilty about it all, especially since we bought almost nothing last year for the holidays. At the same time I'm letting it go, knowing that I'm not going nuts, and enjoying getting to pick out some fun things for my girls and my guys (and myself...hey! my feet HAVE grown a full half size!)
I am in LOVE with my new Report boots...I feel so, so...fancy :o)
This weekend I made an epic grocery run. Two stores, 8 bags, way too much money. Then I cooked and baked and now our freezer and fridge are full. I'm finding it so hard to cook on weekday nights. My little guy only wants to be held from 4:30pm until bedtime. It's such a load off to know that we're covered for about two weeks. Ah, peace.
Iny's Prune Cake
Beef Enchiladas
Marzetti's Spaghetti Pie (from Joy of Cooking)
Comfort Meatballs (served with mashed potatoes, one of the most delicious comforting meals ever)
I've been ordering lots of things for Christmas and Ainsley's birthday. I'm feeling really quilty about it all, especially since we bought almost nothing last year for the holidays. At the same time I'm letting it go, knowing that I'm not going nuts, and enjoying getting to pick out some fun things for my girls and my guys (and myself...hey! my feet HAVE grown a full half size!)
I am in LOVE with my new Report boots...I feel so, so...fancy :o)
The gifts I'm most excited about are of course for the kids. My favorite gifts for the girls are their own yoga mats and 1 lb weights. I'm so tired of them fighting over mine when we work out together. I'm also SO excited about their new games. We play games every afternoon and while I love Orchard, Shopping Cart, and Feed the Woozle, I'm definitely getting excited to switch it up a bit.
It's always nice to get people things you know they are going to love!
It's almost been hard to shop for Ainsley this year because there is SO much that I want to get her. I know her so well now and with her birthday and Christmas all wrapped up together I try my best to really think through the year and get her things that I know she'll need and want for the next long while.
I've also been having tons of fun with Ainsley planning her fifth birthday party. If you recall last year she wasn't interested in a friend party and it's been surprisingly fun to have her on board again this year. Since we're just having a party at home I was hoping to go with the one friend per year rule, but then the list grew to about 12. 8 are coming so far and I must say I'm excited! She wanted it to be all about fairies but seeing as there will be some boys in attendance we decided on fairies and pirates. She's VERY excited.
Ah snow and festivities and yummy food. This is so very much my favorite time of year.
Friday, November 22, 2013
The Girl BoyThing
As I have grown it has become more and more apparent to me that I am an incredibly lucky person.
I used to think not. I used to think I was cursed.
EVERY year in elementary school I'd spend most of my allotted money at the winter carnival at school on that damn cake walk, DESPERATE to win my very own cake. I never won. Not one year. I was sure I was cursed.
And then there were the bad room draw numbers in college. If you didn't go to a teeny tiny liberal arts school I'll spare you the details, but it basically meant last pick of the rooms on campus.
You know what? That actually worked out. I ended up with the best roommates ever Junior year, in one of the coolest triples on campus. Things were starting to look up.
Now as an adult? I'm pretty sure I have some of the best luck. I found an amazing man to share my life with, we have three beautiful children and a full happy life together. Things are great. And after seeing this video I feel even luckier. That I don't even have to think about this gender stuff for the most part because I have been surrounded by the most amazing men in the world.
You see, I was the second born of four girls. I never knew what little boys were like. Sure we had tons of dolls and Barbies and dress up clothes and pink stuff, but we also had Tonka bulldozers and trucks, a full sports bin in the garage with bats and balls and gloves and equal opportunity parents who made sure we all knew how to change a tire and sent us to college with a toolbox in hand.
Until this video, it honestly never occurred to me to think differently. That perhaps there really are people out there who believe that because of the girl and the pink and the dolls, we maybe aren't as smart, or challenged, or capable.
I take particular offense because I'm that girl they speak so harshly of. I am a homemaker, by choice. I got a bachelor of arts degree from a great school and most days I don't use that education in the traditional sense.
I am raising two little girls, and a baby boy and am asked often if it's different with our baby. Of course it isn't. He's a baby. And when he's big enough to hold a crayon and smash play dough and stir ingredients in a bowl and finger knit and sit on my lap to sew, he'll do all of those things just like his sisters. He'll also wear their scuffed up unicorn and smiley faced helmets and zoom on their pink bikes. He'll always be running to catch them because MAN they're fast.
I hear that a lot too. That now that I have a boy I'll know what rambunctious is, what rowdy is, oh boy, you just wait! No waiting necessary thank you. Anyone who has met my first born knows that that girl can keep up with (and outrun, out climb, out wit) just about any boy. I'm not bragging, it's truth. Her preschool teachers tell me it's so. That girl walks up to the "Crew" in the block area and bosses them around and they LISTEN to her. They do what she says. She's a force.
So they're girls, but that's one of the last thoughts that cross my mind when I look at my two older children. They are beautiful smart capable excited interesting little people and I know without a doubt that they can do whatever they put their minds to.
They can look into microscopes and crunch data and solve complicated questions like their daddy, they can become a household chef, creative madwoman, mama extraordinaire like their mom. They can do anything and everything in between. And you know what? It's all worthy.
I don't dislike that video. I guess I get it now. I've taken for granted that my gender was never an issue for me, that I always knew I could do anything I set my mind to.
Perhaps I'll get Ainsley that fun engineering set for Christmas, it looks like a cool toy. But I don't for one minute think that a toy can define a child. Pink or blue, domesticated or logical or physical. It's a toy. Its the way we raise our children, the people we surround them with. That's what really matters.
Thank you dad. Thank you Bop. Thank you Uncle Bert and Mr. Beck and Mr. Coady and Mr. Orstad and Mr. Rogers (8th grade science teacher, not dad) and Wendell Arneson and John Saurer and Professor Durocher. Thank you to at least 27 other men that I've left out. Thank you for being strong sensitive men who never gave me a moment's pause over my preference for pink, who let me grow knowing that I was capable and that my choices were many. For being feminists without me even knowing.
Thank you Mom. Than you grandma and Gram. Thank you Aunt Gail and Kelly, Mrs. Rondesdvedt, and Karen Cherewatuk. Thank you to all of the women who showed me first hand, how amazing women are.
And thank you to my husband, the father of my three beautiful children, you are the best role model, the most supreme advocate, that I can imagine for them all.
I am the luckiest, and I'm happy to say I'm pretty sure my kids will be too.
I hope the same for yours, pink or blue.
I used to think not. I used to think I was cursed.
EVERY year in elementary school I'd spend most of my allotted money at the winter carnival at school on that damn cake walk, DESPERATE to win my very own cake. I never won. Not one year. I was sure I was cursed.
And then there were the bad room draw numbers in college. If you didn't go to a teeny tiny liberal arts school I'll spare you the details, but it basically meant last pick of the rooms on campus.
You know what? That actually worked out. I ended up with the best roommates ever Junior year, in one of the coolest triples on campus. Things were starting to look up.
Now as an adult? I'm pretty sure I have some of the best luck. I found an amazing man to share my life with, we have three beautiful children and a full happy life together. Things are great. And after seeing this video I feel even luckier. That I don't even have to think about this gender stuff for the most part because I have been surrounded by the most amazing men in the world.
You see, I was the second born of four girls. I never knew what little boys were like. Sure we had tons of dolls and Barbies and dress up clothes and pink stuff, but we also had Tonka bulldozers and trucks, a full sports bin in the garage with bats and balls and gloves and equal opportunity parents who made sure we all knew how to change a tire and sent us to college with a toolbox in hand.
Until this video, it honestly never occurred to me to think differently. That perhaps there really are people out there who believe that because of the girl and the pink and the dolls, we maybe aren't as smart, or challenged, or capable.
I take particular offense because I'm that girl they speak so harshly of. I am a homemaker, by choice. I got a bachelor of arts degree from a great school and most days I don't use that education in the traditional sense.
I am raising two little girls, and a baby boy and am asked often if it's different with our baby. Of course it isn't. He's a baby. And when he's big enough to hold a crayon and smash play dough and stir ingredients in a bowl and finger knit and sit on my lap to sew, he'll do all of those things just like his sisters. He'll also wear their scuffed up unicorn and smiley faced helmets and zoom on their pink bikes. He'll always be running to catch them because MAN they're fast.
I hear that a lot too. That now that I have a boy I'll know what rambunctious is, what rowdy is, oh boy, you just wait! No waiting necessary thank you. Anyone who has met my first born knows that that girl can keep up with (and outrun, out climb, out wit) just about any boy. I'm not bragging, it's truth. Her preschool teachers tell me it's so. That girl walks up to the "Crew" in the block area and bosses them around and they LISTEN to her. They do what she says. She's a force.
So they're girls, but that's one of the last thoughts that cross my mind when I look at my two older children. They are beautiful smart capable excited interesting little people and I know without a doubt that they can do whatever they put their minds to.
They can look into microscopes and crunch data and solve complicated questions like their daddy, they can become a household chef, creative madwoman, mama extraordinaire like their mom. They can do anything and everything in between. And you know what? It's all worthy.
I don't dislike that video. I guess I get it now. I've taken for granted that my gender was never an issue for me, that I always knew I could do anything I set my mind to.
Perhaps I'll get Ainsley that fun engineering set for Christmas, it looks like a cool toy. But I don't for one minute think that a toy can define a child. Pink or blue, domesticated or logical or physical. It's a toy. Its the way we raise our children, the people we surround them with. That's what really matters.
Thank you dad. Thank you Bop. Thank you Uncle Bert and Mr. Beck and Mr. Coady and Mr. Orstad and Mr. Rogers (8th grade science teacher, not dad) and Wendell Arneson and John Saurer and Professor Durocher. Thank you to at least 27 other men that I've left out. Thank you for being strong sensitive men who never gave me a moment's pause over my preference for pink, who let me grow knowing that I was capable and that my choices were many. For being feminists without me even knowing.
Thank you Mom. Than you grandma and Gram. Thank you Aunt Gail and Kelly, Mrs. Rondesdvedt, and Karen Cherewatuk. Thank you to all of the women who showed me first hand, how amazing women are.
And thank you to my husband, the father of my three beautiful children, you are the best role model, the most supreme advocate, that I can imagine for them all.
I am the luckiest, and I'm happy to say I'm pretty sure my kids will be too.
I hope the same for yours, pink or blue.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)