Lots (and lots) of Bits

I'd love to be one of those people that can organize their thoughts in neat little packages, but oh goodness, I am not.  I flit about from this to that in my own mind so it would make sense that my writing is the same.  I've resisted posting the last few days because I'm weary of the EXPLOSION of thoughts and pictures that it will inevitably be.  But there's so much to share these days so I guess I'll just go for it.  I apologize in advance.

First up, Grammy was in town last week!  Oh boy did the girls have a blast.  She brought with her (grammy made!) reindeer nightgowns for the girls and all kinds of snuggles and energy.  She was staying with her parents up in Winnetka but came down twice just to play.  It was especially delightful to me as I had some sort of mild stomach horrific energy sucking bug that necessitated at least one 2-3 hour nap a day.  Grammy to the rescue!  The girls have been sleeping with photos of you ever since Grammy.  We can't wait to see you in Minnesota for Christmas!

she let the girls give her a full out make over, now that's love

Grammy snuggles, But NO Elephants! reading, and frozen berry snacking, 

my girls were in heaven

In other life news the girls were both a bit under the weather last week as well.  Louise had a little tummy bug and Ainsley had a skin reaction to the dry leaves outside.  Our solution? lots of indoor fun, extra snuggles and impromptu naps.  This wonderful cold weather (and first few flurries!) have been a delightful excuse to start our winter hunker down.  We're all a bit smitten.

painting lots of elephants

such a careful color mixer that one is, perhaps the third generation of colorists in the family? (mom?! :o)

Ainsley continues to think she's too big for naps, now I can pull out this photo as proof, that little body still needs some down time in a day

post nap daddy snuggles

frosted window[panes]

my three favorites

And I promise, just because I've fallen off the meal plan posts bandwagon does not mean cooking is not happening.  It's still tricky though.  This little one in my tummy is very abrupt and decisive with what they would and would not like to eat.  My solution this week was to cook lots this weekend.  Stock the fridge with my already made meals and pick and chose as the mood fits.  I had to laugh last night as I pulled my delicious smelling casserole out of the oven and the potatoes were no where NEAR cooked, at 6:30pm mind you.  So I went and grabbed some burgers and we'll eat the now cooked casserole tonight. (note to self, always ALWAYS par cook potatoes when putting them in a casserole...1.5 hours is way too long to wait for dinner)

Through this annoying cooking rut has surely come some good.  It's enabled me to focus on what's really important at meal time, truthfully one of my favorite times in our day, as hard and exhausting as it can be.  Ainsley prays while we all clasp and bow heads.  I light candles and their glow calms us all a bit.  We share stories and smiles and when the girls inevitably finish eons before us adults Ian and I get a rare moment alone while they play.  What we eat doesn't matter so much as all of this.

Sunday prep, Marzetti's Spaghetti Pie from Joy of Cooking (SO good!)

Pioneer Woman's Ham and Potato Casserole

even uncooked it looks delicious

In the crafting world things are finally looking up.  I'll openly admit that last week I was worried.  REAL worried.  I made the grave mistake of counting all of projects that I have to complete by the 25th of next month and lets just say I was being absurdly conservative when I said "over 20" on facebook.  It's A LOT.  On top of it all after two mere weeks of feeling mostly ok and normal I felt horrible last week and was truly worried that this was just going to be how I felt for the rest of this pregnancy.  I was so tired that one day I had to call Ian to come home from work and just slept for three hours at 4pm.  It wasn't pretty.  

But then whatever it was passed, I refocused and reminded myself that I do really ENJOY all of this making (and all that amazing fabric I just bought isn't going to sew itself), and I went for it.  I know I can't keep this pace for the next 6 weeks, but it gives me hope, and more importantly excitement.  This making stuff for people I love thing is catching, amazingly wonderfully catching.

First up, a dress for Louise.  Unbeknownst to Ainsley she will have the exact same one, just a bit wider and longer (hence me trying Louise's dress on her, clever, yes? :o).  Oh how I love still being able to pull the wool over her eyes just a bit.  And can I just say that I would eagerly don a replica of this dress in my own size?  I do believe it's the cutest thing I've ever made.

a few new techniques on this one, double stitched elastic casing, 

lends for a bit of a ruffle just at the edge, LOVE.

also a double stitch wide hemline, I'll be able to let this skirt out a good 2" if need be, 

brilliance I tell you

And to keep motivation going?  A little something for myself.

I don't foresee me having to purchase many if any maternity clothes this pregnancy.  I got so large with Louise that I'm banking on starting off a good 10 pounds behind with this one, as well as all those clothes I've accumulated from my two previous pregnancies to keep me well covered.

Still, there is something about this growing, enlarging time that is tricky.  I'm not a vain lady, nor a fussy one when it comes to my looks, but it's hard all the same to watch your body grow so at times.  My perfect solution this time around?  Why, make something I love that should fit me right through the end.

  I introduce you to my new favorite outfit.

photo courtesy of Ainsley

This is the raglan sleeve top from Modern Sewing, lengthened to the tunic size.  I made it with the most beautiful luscious flannel I've ever encountered, In the Clearing by Anna Maria Horner.  I've been salivating over this fabric since last winter and decided that growing our new little one was the perfect excuse to indulge myself. I'm so glad I did.

Tied at the waist (while I still have one left!) it fits me just perfectly, with lots of room to spare for the growing months ahead.  The beautiful double gathered neckline stretches easily and I can see this as the perfect I need to be comfy but don't want to look frumpy maternity and nursing top.  I may have to make one or two more with fabric from my stash.  It was so easy to make and so fun to wear. 

Ok, now back to all the holiday magic.

With my most recent project finally off the needles (so much I can't share on here!) I knew I had to motivate to get a new thing going right away.  I'd wanted to make these elf hats last year but had no time to do it.  This year I ordered the book from the library early, found the perfect yarn in my stash and am already two hats in.  I won't say who these are for, but i'm making (hopefully) seven, so, if you know our family, you may be able to guess who will be enjoying these very soon.

More Last Minute Knitted Gifts

I'm sorry, I had WAY too much fun trying to photograph myself in this hat

Big sigh.  So it's getting done.  One thing at a time.  One stitch, one row, one pattern, one cut, one seam, one pulled out seam, one seam.  In the end it's all so worth it, really it already is.  I feel so much joy and excitement building.  I'll keep you posted!

And last but not least, my boy.  My ALMOST PhD boy.  In his words, if the defense goes well on Thursday the committee signs some papers and unless he passes out or goes insane during his open defense in Decemeber he's got it.  He's DONE!

I have never seen my boy so stressed out or tired.  Yesterday I caught him roaming around the house with crazy wide eyes, rubbing his scratchy beard, aimless and anxious.  I calmly suggested a bike ride at the club today and a sauna, to get those jitters out a bit.  Then I looked in his wise blue grey eyes and just felt so proud.  Perhaps it's wrong, but when you've worked so hard and you are such an amazing good person, I think a little pride is ok. We are so proud Ian.  Our little PhD.

The upside to all of the stress of the past months is all the celebrating we've been able to do.  A banquet for Ian and I, breakfast out with the girls after a successful big talk.  This weekend we look forward to dinner downtown with dear friends and I have a little something up my sleeve for a combo Christmas graduation gift for my deserving guy.  And on top of it all?  Ian's still amazing.  Taking the girls on their outings, being sympathetic to me and my growing self.  I'm pretty ridiculously impressed.

All fancy for St Albert's Day

celebratory breakfast at Flat Top

daddy daughter park date

downtown aquarium date with Louise

a little solo Ainsley time

So there it is.  All those crazy lots of bits.  You're pretty much caught up.  We're focused on Thursday.  Ainsley's parent teacher conference in the morning, Ian's defense in the afternoon, hopefully a whole lot of family celebrating on Friday and throughout the weekend before all the festivities of Thanksgiving next week.

We are feeling it all right now.  Blessed and stressed, full and good.  Thanks for all of the prayers and well wishes.  Our little family is so incredibly lucky.

Hump Day Nuggets:: Day Off

Ok, so this is really more like Tuesday nuggets seeing as I've been posting so much recently, still I'm trying to get back on my blogging track!

We're having a great week.

This is absolutely my favorite time of year.  Our work consists solely of planning gifts to give, decorations to make, and delicious food to eat.  I have been SO tempted by the cute toystores in town and vintage decorations on etsy, only to go down into my craft closet and be completely inspired with all that I can make from what we already have.

First up?  A new tiny stocking advent garland.  While I still love the mini muffin tin one I made last year I was disappointed that ALL I could fit behind the numbers was a hershey kiss.  This year I have two little girls who will be eager for treats and a firmer resolve to make the treats more than just candy.  I've been stockpiling colored clays, tiny cookie cutters, and  rubber stamps from our thrift shop to surprise the girls with. Other treasures will be temporary tattoos, tiny knitted or felted gnomes, wooden pegs to make angels out of, felt cones to make trees for our christmas village, perhaps even two teeny tiny vintage santa mugs (I'm keeping me eye out!).  I think this will be such a great way to spread out our holiday crafting and merriment.  I am so excited!

Now about those stockings...

If I'm honest with myself I would have LOVED to have splurged on some 100% wool felt in luscious winter hues, thankfully?  I have a stack of felted sweaters and thick plaid flannel shirts that I think will do quite nicely, especially coupled with fun thrifted trimmings and embellishments from this charm pack I have coming to me in the mail (oh the plans I have for these adorably festive fabrics).  We have our pattern all ready to get cutting this afternoon!

Another garland I'm excited to make is a white dove P-E-A-C-E garland.  I saw the idea on my favorite Amanda Soule blog and think it'd be a great addition to our holiday decor.  Plus I LOVE decorations that can stay up well into the new year.  Again, no fancy white felt was to be found in my stash, but I do believe these wool sweaters I found will work just fine.  And if I have time I would lOVE to embroider a holiday pillow.  Ainsley drew the most ADORABLE christmas tree the other day.  I'd love to commemorate that forever.

One of the best things to come from school and all that socializing are the leaps and bounds my girls are making daily in their playing together.  I was simply amazed that Louise sat so patiently for a full half hour while Ainsley put together her new puzzle (that daddy just couldn't wait until her birthday to give her, good thing too, she's slept with it every night since it's opening).  Just watching in awe that girl, waiting for her turn to hold a precious piece.

Of course there are times I've learned that separate may be better.  They each got their own bin for oatmeal playing.  They still fought over spoons and cups, even though they had the exact same ones.  But of course that was all minimal compared to the fun.  The best $5 I've spent in a long time was on a bulk box of oatmeal.  Who knew?

Another highlight to my day?  Clean floors!  Well, momentarily....

After our swiffer bit the dust a few months back I've been searching for a replacement with a reusable cloth and self filling cartridge (meaning I wouldn't have to use that stinky swiffer stuff anymore).  I was gearing up for the rubbermaid option online when I stumbled across the Libman mop at our local grocery store for $10 less than the rubbermaid.  Works amazingly, I can use our delicious smelling tough and tender cleaner, then throw the pad in the laundry. Ah, clean floors.

Again, just for now...

And what to do with all that extra oatmeal?  Not the played with oatmeal of course but that big old second bag of oats the box?  Homemade granola bars seemed just the ticket.  This recipe is simply delicious.  With no wheat germ in the house I bulked up the nuts and rice crispies a bit.  I dipped half in chocolate for those decadent snack times and left the other half plain for mornings.  We'll definitely be enjoying these for a long time.

In other news, we're in the midst of figuring out our first medical mystery in the family.  Since Sunday Ainsley's been having skin flare ups.  Nothing too serious, but it's definitely noticeable when it's bad and making her a bit uncomfortable at times.  I finally took her to the doctor yesterday and he seemed unconcerned and gave us a prescription for some cream.  She's still bad this morning so I'm hoping we find a solution soon.  I'm actually off in a moment with Louise (she's currently dancing around to the nutcracker in front of me while I finish this up from earlier this morning) to get some ultra gentle bath wash and lotion for her.  I'm also going to rewash everything she owns in our ultra gentle diaper wash this afternoon (now that's love!).  Of course i just want relief for her.  I'm happy to know that it's most likely not an allergy to food, but more likely a little virus or seasonal flare up with the dry leafy weather.  We'll figure it out soon Ainsley girl.

My mom comes in this afternoon for a quick end of week visit.  I'm excited, but I'm pretty sure the girls are even more excited.  GRAMMY!  We miss you!

As for the election news?  We are pleased in this household.  But I find my overwhelming emotion to be sadness that our country is so divided and there are so many people angry and hurt.  I myself am focusing on all the good.  That we are so lucky to live in the country that we do.  We are so blessed.

I hope you all are having a good week!

15 weeks

Ok, so I'm really not planning on doing a weekly baby post here but then yesterday I looked in the mirror and saw this...

 and decided I should take note of the precise day that I "popped".

Exactly 15 weeks.  

I still don't know that anyone out in public can really tell I'm pregnant, but I'm sure starting to notice more!

So other than the little protruding belly not a lot has changed in a week.  I'm definitely getting my appetite back, fully entering that I need food every 2-3 hours stage of pregnancy.  The nice thing this time around is I'm already on a good snack schedule with the girls, ALWAYS prepared with dried fruit and nuts in my purse for those morning munchies and fresh fruit and some little homemade snack in the afternoons.  Surprisingly I'm not all too hungry before bed as usual.  I think I got out of the habit of eating then when I felt so wretched all first trimester.  I find most nights a cup of ginger or herbal tea does the trick to fill me up so I don't wake up starving.

And as for what kinds of foods this baby likes?  Well, if Ainsley was the pork baby and Louise was the no meat sweets baby, then this is definitely the ethnic food take out baby. I have found cooking to be such a chore with this pregnancy, and this is even my favorite time of year to cook in!  Plus I've still been pretty tired in the afternoons/evenings so motivating to make whats in the fridge is extra hard.  We've had thai food, indian food, mexican food, italian food.  Anything with a little spice and yummy sauces sounds very good most of the time.  Too bad my go tos in the kitchen are nothing like that!  I'll figure it out.  Our budget won't allow for 2-3 take out meals a week anyways.

The girls (particularly Ainsley) continue to be SO interested in and excited about the new baby.  Ainsley discovered that the back of one of my workout tapes shows a muscle image of a pregnant body and she is so intruded.  We found this great puzzle that we may have to get the girls to help them understand how the baby is going to grow.  They can't wait to be new big sisters!

I too simply cannot wait for our family to grow and to be a mother of three.  Really, if this baby could come tomorrow I would be 100% ready and so thrilled.  So far I feel none of that trepidation about getting bigger and giving birth.  If anything I am just so excited  about it all, looking forward to it even.  Something in me just knows that it's all going to be wonderful and I'm already itching to hold our sweet new little one (I think it's a motivator as well that we have both a boy and a girl name all picked out already!)  I am thankful for lots of fun holidays between now and birth day baby, it's already feeling like Christmas Eve every day around here!

So other than the funny food stuff and the being awake at 5am all on my own stuff (already?!), things are going really really well.  I've loved feeling those first tiny kicks this week, having a little belly as a reminder of that apple sized dumpling in my tummy, and in general feeling good and back to my old self.

Happy 15 weeks little one!

Early Elving

My mind has been all abuzz lately.  With the calender flip to November I find myself in complete gear for the holidays.  A lot because this is my favorite time of year and a lot too because I'm going to need my A game every minute to accomplish all I hope to.

I find I agonize so much over gifts.  I am astounded at how much my direction and intention has changed even over the past few years.  I know a lot of my attention to and zeal for gift giving comes from my need to be incredibly frugal and equal desire to give gifts worth giving.  Surely with all the money in the world in my pocket I would do a lot more local shop shopping.

Still, I can't help but feel this is a particularly special Christmas season.  I am delighting so much in the making of this holiday for my loved ones.  I thought I'd take a bit of time on this space to share some of my most exciting endeavors.

Christmas

I remember silently vowing when we had to girls that I wouldn't do that whole sharing gifts/same gifts thing just because they have the same gender.  But I must say, in going down my list, nearly EVERYTHING my girls will be receiving for this holiday will be the same, just tweaked a bit for their individuality.  I'm taking advantage of their desire to match and relish in their mama made things while they will.

Doll Baskets

A friend posted a photo of a doll carrier that she's made for her daughter and I was so inspired.  I'd wanted to get Louise a little moses basket for her elephant but couldn't really find one I liked.  It had never occurred to me that I could make one!  The fabric is bought and a pattern was found. I'm so in love with this beautiful carrier that Louise won't be the only one enjoying one Christmas morning.

Dress Up Duds

My girls are still so into dress up, but I wanted to extend their collection from the basic fairy/princess costume bin a bit.  I've been keeping my eye out for fun vintage finds at thrift shops and found some real gems (velvet gloves, lace petticoats, bonnets and princess hats).

In addition to the found items I am excited to make them each a hooded cloak for all the little red riding hood play they love so much.  This pattern should work nicely with the thick burgundy flannel I found on extra sale this summer.

Along with the new dress up items I hope to include our two new favorite fairy tale books.  Both of the girls continue to be so into fairy tales and princesses and I've been trying my best to find that perfect balance between authenticity, imagination and beauty.  This version of Cinderella is the most beautifully illustrated version I've found and the story is told so beautifully, with such a focus on what a good person both Cinderella and the Prince are.  This version of Little Red Riding Hood does not sugarcoat the classic story but manages to not be frightening either and the illustrations are beautiful.  The girls will be so excited to finally own two of our new favorite library finds!

I would also love to motivate to make a set of silk wings for both of the girls (with silk scarves from dharma trading co, or better yet? underused playsilks of our own).  These would help fill up those gargantuan stockings nicely!

Dollhouse etc.

I kind of stumbled across this after looking YET AGAIN for an affordable simple sturdy wooden dollhouse on ebay, etsy and craigslist.  Not expecting much after months of nothing I was DELIGHTED to find exactly what I was looking for right in our budget, FINALLY!  Now how to furnish it?  Even the most inexpensive furniture sets are too much and while I'm all for the creativity of making items with the girls I really want at least the basics covered Christmas morning so they can play right away.  Solution?  A small woodshop in Main makes perfectly sized wooden pieces that I am confident I can wood glue and paint away with the make the perfect little furniture.  But truthfully if I can find a way to fit it in the budget I would love this set for them.  How adorable!

Matching Dresses

Ainsley has been asking for a matching Ainsley/Lamby dress for ages and I decided that Christmas was the perfect time to grant her wish.  A quick pinterest search unearthed this beautiful dress and i'm confident I can make a similar simple Lamby dress out of the same fabric.  Of course I'll be making on for Louise and Ellie too, in fabric so well suited for them.

And in the store bought category we have...

Games

I purchased a new memory game for Louise on zulily a few weeks back.  We have one from Ainsley a few years ago and of course about half the cards are missing.  But the girls LOVE memory and this one looks wonderful.

And because my biggest girl is so VERY into games I thought a new one to spark her interest was important.  I'm still deciding between this one and this one.  So many great ones out there.

This was another zulily find for Ainsley.  I have been wanting a cash register for her for ages and think she's finally old enough to really enjoy one.  She has this same one at her preschool and I think it will be wonderful for fostering her love of "shop" play and interest in money.

As another birthday treat for Ainsley Ian found this amazing puzzle at our local toy shop.  Ainsley is SO into the body, how it works, all of it's parts, and of course puzzles.  How perfect! (we got the girl version, but this photo was better)

Other Gifts

There is of course LOTS of other elving going on.  Big orders of fabric and supplies being made, sewing and knitting, printmaking and stamping.  I am so excited about it all and can't wait to share once the gifts have been given.  It's really amazing all that can be done with a little motivation, lots of planning and love.  

Happy Elving season.  I do believe it's my favorite!

Upswing

I'm literally chuckling as I begin this.  Could it REALLY be that just yesterday I was moaning so vigorously about life?  Could it also be that I am back on here a mere day later to gush about this exact same life of mine?  chucklechuckle.  

Of course.  You see.  This is apparently my pattern, my M.O. if you will.  Whether a product of the proclamation of the bad day, the working it out in writing, or the sheer vissisitudes of this life, a bad day most certainly brings a spectacular one.  Thank goodness.

To start, today is Friday, my new favorite day.  It used to be Mondays, and those can still be pretty good too, but now Friday has surely taken my proverbial cake and I'm smitten.  Because Fridays can be anything.

Today I knew we needed some down time.  After all the hulabaloo from Halloween and the still sniffly noses of my girls a snuggle morning sounded delightful to us all.  But then the sun shone through our windows and the red cheeked kids walking to school tempted us with their glee in the crisp air and we just had to get a piece of it.  So we took a double stroller walk.  Something we haven't done in a long time.  No bikes, no backpack, no walkers but mama (an indication of the ickiness my girls felt).  It was pretty glorious.

We arrived home refreshed, descended with snacks to the basement for a little R&R (well, for the girls, I had a gift to make at the sewing table).  The girls noshed and lounged to Heidi (of course!) and I got my whole project done in the span of the movie.  YES!

After lunch the girls BOTH napped (another indication of that darn lingering cold) and I got a whole 2 hours to myself.  Since I did my workout tape yesterday and my legs were still feeling the brisk walk I decided to use this time extra well today.  I spent the time sifting, organizing my thoughts and plans for the coming season.  I am so excited about it all and really needed that time to refocus and prioritize.

In my sifting I came across and adorable paper doll pattern and after gathering notions from the basement, in quite perfect timing, I heard Ainsley's tiny LOUD stomps down the stairs.  SO eager for a fun project we worked away, and when Louise awoke she joined us.

It's a widduw guwa mama.  These aw da buttons.  Yuk!  I cowered huw eyes and huw nose.  And dose aw decowations.

Mine's a girl too and these are her bones.  She's at the doctors and she's getting an Xray. (Ainsley actually drew a tiny heart and blood vessel on each of our dolls before letting us at them, very into anatomy lately that one is)

I just had some fun with mine.

When the girls had had their crafty fill we turned to some new fun.  In my bin of odds and ends from the basement Ainsley found some metallic wire that i'd never found a use for.  We twistied it up and made princess crowns then promptly had to have a princess tea party.  Ainsley laid down her blanket and got the treats.  Once the princesses had their fill it was on to the dancing portion of the festivities.  The 50s pandora station suits us quite well for this and we bee-bop and sho-bopped away.

Then it was time for dinner making.  I'd wanted to go out and get some shrimp with the girls this morning but Ainsley was too under the weather for a grocery excursion.  So, punting a bit we made home made mac and cheese with breadcrumb topping and are grilled some hot diggity dogs.  Really?  kind of  a perfect Friday night dinner.

To round out the excellence I thought I'd try an after dinner walk.  4 blocks and a half hour later we made it home, worn and ready for bed.  The girls and I ate the last pieces of pumpkin pie, read some favorites, sang some too.  Bedtime was good, much better than usual.  A perfectly timed reminder that the effort is nearly always worth it.

::haha!  I promise Louise was just mad about getting her photo taken, not about our walk, CERTAINLY not about that amazing outfit she chose all on her own::

I feel so refreshed today, just how I like to go into the weekend.  The laundry is done and folded, the house is relatively clean, but most importantly?  My girls and I are good, ending the week strong and smitten, just what we needed (and my boy?  well, he's sending off that dissertation tonight!)

I'll take a rotten egg of a day any time if it gives me more of these triumphant ones.

Have a great weekend!

My All

I am feeling a bit tested these days.  As if the universe is looking me square in the eyes and taunting "oh, so you think you're good mom huh?  a good wife?  a good person?  Let's see how you handle THIS! ah HA!"

Ok, of course it's not that dramatic.  Really, I feel silly even admitting that I feel stretched thin.  I mean if there were a chart of things that make life great I'm fairly certain I'd be able to check them all off, right down the line.

Still, life lately is getting to me.  I am so eager for my boy to be done with his work.  Mostly for his own sanity and stability but also for our family.  It's tough living in limbo, not knowing exactly what the coming years bring.

It's stressful owning a home, a blessing, but a huge stress.  I swear to you something in this house needs tending to or fixing or maintaining just about every two months.  I try to keep in mind that with each tiny disaster and call to the professionals we're learning and growing, but man, it's enough to make a girl want to move home to her parents' basement every now and again.

And then?... there's parenting.  Oh boy.  What a DOOZY that has been these past few months.  I actually find myself looking forward to caring for a newborn again just to be grounded in that simple routine of sweet care, because WOWZA, preschoolers are no joke.

I really sugarcoated that Halloween post yesterday.  I could have written paragraph after paragraph about all of the trauma of that morning.  How I truly have never felt so defeated, disappointed  and helpless in my life, how a long talk with my boy and a crying jag with my mom helped so much, how I was somehow able to power through and come out (I think) the better.  It was definitely one of those I don't want to do this, this is too hard, moments.

And on top of it all, I'm pregnant, something I tend to forget about 80% of the time until my head is spinning and my muscles are aching and I NEED WATER NOW and NO, I CAN'T CARRY YOU AROUND ALL DAY, and OH MY GOODNESS IF I DON'T SLEEP RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO PERISH!!!!!  And yes, that really is all as dramatic as that.

Babies are such a blessing in so many wonderful ways.  But right now?  This little one is reminding me that I matter too.  That in the midst of chaos and late nights and tired hard mornings and LONG afternoons  it's ok to take care of me, of us now really.  To let dinner be from the freezer again, let the crumbs sit on the floor one more night, let our "activity" be snuggling and drawing and Christmas music listening.  For the first time in my parenting career I truly don't feel bad about any of these things, because sometimes, well, all the time, when you know you're giving it your all you simply can't be disappointed.

Now if only those Christmas gifts would make themselves...

Halloween! or the Scroogiest Halloweeny There Ever Was

I was just getting ready to write a whole grump post about Halloween.  Well, actually I had one nicely started from yesterday that I was just going to embellish a bit.  All about how the dressing up kind of weirds me out, the lost effort to make homemade costumes that eventually end up creating a fight to get on, the cost of candy and sugar that surely we love, but really have no need for.  Bah, humbug.

But then Halloween happened.  All the tears from the morning turned into excited smiles and skipping steps.  All the unfound worry about the "scary" holiday melted away as the evening became all about neighbors and cute costumes and candy for dinner.  While it's still not at the top of holiday my list, Halloween has the potential of growing on me, so long as my little ones help keep the spirits high.

We carved pumpkins this year with the need only for ONE purchased.  Free pumpkins from our fall fest and the two tiny orbs from our garden provided all the fun we needed.  I hope we get even more in our patch next year.  It was so fun to watch them grow, pick and carve them.

Louise was not so into pulp.  "It's yucky in there!" was her response whenever we prompted her to squeeze a handful.  So she became our happy seed mixer and boy, do those seeds taste better than ever this year, perhaps from all the vigorous mixing.  Thanks Louise!

Ainsley drew her face on her pumpkin and carver daddy cut it out.  She was so intrigued with his Twins pumpkin.  Those two are quite the pair.

Since our sassy squirrels seems to think that our pumpkins are free food we kept them on the kitchen table for their inaugural light.  Candles are one of the girls' favorite things (top on both of their Christmas lists) and seeing the tiny tea light ignite their faces was so magical for them.

Louise wanted me to carve a doggy for her.  I did my best!

Ainsley and her pumpkin.

All lit up.

Pumpkin carving is probably my favorite Halloween tradition. I love the smell of pumpkins warmed by candles and the magic of their spooky lit faces.  I hope the squirrels hold off on their buffet for a few more days so we can keep enjoying our creations!

Halloween morning found us quite in a tizzy.  Ainsley's teacher had talked to them about how it's ok to feel a little scared of Halloween and not want to dress up.  While well intended, this pep talk unfortunately served to plant the idea in Ainsley's head that she should be afraid of Halloween and her costume.  She was beside herself about dressing up and while I normally wouldn't push such a silly issue I know my girl well.  Rest assured as soon as we'd get to school she'd see all her friends decked out and want to join in the fun.  Plus this girl LOVES dress up.  I'm hard pressed to find a day in recent memory that she hasn't dressed up in one way or another.  So I called her bluff and life turned out.  She was happy as a clam in her Heidi costume and once she fed a little off the excitement of her peers she was ready and rearing to go for trick or treat.

We had such fun going up and down our block, seeing neighbors all dressed up and friendly.  Oak Park does an early trick or treat, 3-7pm, so unfortunately there are a lot of empty houses with people still at work.  The girls got their fill though, and we came home to leftover roast and pumpkin pie (well, for me, everyone else was too stuffed on candy!)

Ah my sweet girls, for all the drama of the actual holiday we sure did have fun planning and creating those cute duds.  Here's hoping that next year Ainsley still wants that old penguin costume like she's insisted and Louise will be content with a Heidi hand me down, because a year seems far too soon to go through all this again!

Happy Halloween!