It's been a week of ups and downs with my Ainsley girl. After a tiring but resoundenling successful first full week of preschool this week has been off. The early part of our mornings have been spent in frustration, anger even as she determinedly, loudly states that she will not be going to school, that she's sick, she's tired, she won't do it, she can't do it, CANCEL IT PLEASE! I see so much of myself in her in these moments. Panicked almost about the idea of leaving home, her family, her safe haven. I try to tap into what has worked for me. Acknowledge that it's ok to feel sad, and worried, but remind her how much fun she's always had, will conitnue to have, and that she's not missing a thing by being gone for 2.5 hours from ole mom, unless of course she'd like to help me scrub the floors? And ultimately what worked? Letting her physically push me out the door once I drop her off and give her hugs. Thanks for the suggestion Ruth. We're two days with no tears.
And my big Louise, no nay-nay at school, no tears either. When I tell her it's her turn to go to school after dropping Ainsley off she beams "mama! you come back!" Of course my sweet thing. Of course.
My boy finished cell counting and is most likely, at this precise moment, breathing through the last minutes of intense anxiety before a huge presentation this afternoon. I've felt very maternal towards him lately. Just wanting to rub his back and lay his head on my chest, take some, any, of his worry away. My boy's not really a worrier, so when it's bad, it's really bad.
But this stretching so thin of us both has been a good thing really, a very good thing. We're finally so close to the end of this whole process, so close to the next step, and it's exciting. Finally being able to talk about what the next months and years hold for our family has been invigorating, and really? no matter what it holds I am just so glad to be here, sharing it with him.
So here I find myself very thankful once again for our open and free Friday. Very much looking forward to its possibility and freedom.
And in other less dramatic news...
Louise has been sporting her first real "do's"
reading Mr Rogers' Potty book with daddy
It recently occurred to me that just because she still has deliciously delicate baby soft hair, the length isn't there to play around with. We'r been having fun with the ponys. My big girl.
The craft bug has officially returned!
Thanks to Ainsley deciding she only needs to nap once or twice a week we now have oodles of time for big girl crafting. I rarely have a plan. For instance, this particular craft went something like this. "Ok, so I have a few celery bottoms leftover from that stock I made. Hmm, and here's some glue and paint, and glitter? ok why not!"
Did you know that stamped celery bottoms look mysteriously like roses? It's one of our favorites for fabric and wrapping paper stamping.
Then of course Louise had to crash the glitter party. They were both so proud of their creations. And I must admit. Even this mama had some fun with that glitter.
The resurrection of the night time walk.
In all honesty we've been pooped over here. By the time Ian gets home it's all I can do to get dinner on the table and leave our home in some semblance of order before we all hit the hay by 8pm. But this delicious sweater weather we've been having is calling out loud and clear and I've found the return of our aimless post dinner strolls to be just what we all need.
Ah, so good week. A bit more eventful than I would've liked but I'll take it. I'm crossing my fingers and toes that dance class goes well this afternoon for Miss Ainsley. After a rough start last week she's been reticent to give it another go. We've laid out her leotard and tutu choices and she miraculously napped so I'm hopeful. And in any event? Tomorrow's Friday and I just know delightful adventures await us.
Happy week to you all!
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