Hump Day Nuggets: Over Ambition

I have started and abandoned numerous blog posts this week.  One was about all the organizing I got done this weekend, one was about all this running I'm doing (both in the gym and in life in general) another about my zeal for taking the plunge into an all earth friendly home product regimen.  At the time they all felt necessary and a bit cathartic, but as I read them back to myself it was all kind of "eh" /.

I've had so many moments with Ian at night, hearing him talk about the new research he's doing, crazy advanced statistics he's teaching himself and articles he's read, and I am at a total loss.  I'll rebuttal with zeal about the new plans I have for the girls that week, recipes to try and activities to do, but it all feels a little forced at times.  Am I really THAT excited for the new mexican lasagna I'm making tonight?  Is the mess that that moon dough is going to make REALLY the highlight of my day?  No and no.  But a girls' got to have something right?  

I've always taken this mom job quite seriously, and there truly is nothing else that I'd rather be doing. But I realize now that perhaps I've taken it a little TOO seriously.  Most days I have SO planned with ridiculous over-ambition that we all end up flustered and defeated.  I'm disappointed in myself for letting this happen.

It all came to a head yesterday when we were trying to get out the door to playschool.  The weather was SO gorgeous that I decided to walk the mile to school with the girls which of course meant that we had to leave 15 minutes earlier than normal.  Despite giving ourselves a half hour to merely get out the door we were still rushed in the end.  My stress and flustered mood rubbed off on the girls.  Ainsley was clingy and sad at drop off and Louise squirmed and writhed in the stroller the whole way home.  After running back to get to musikgarten on time, then rushing to pick up Ainsley I was physcially and mentally spent.

And what a bummer really because it's such a fun morning.  Ainsley gets to play with her friends and wonderful teachers while I enjoy 45 minutes alone with Louise at our favorite activity.  Then I go and ruin it by being all type A crazy crazed.

What's funnier/sadder still is I've never thought of myself as that type of person.  Sure I'm kind of an "on the ball" gal, but I also live for those moments, periods even, of calm and laze.  I think I'm so defensive of this job of mine that I feel like I have something to prove.  But I've learned that the best days, the ones that we all learn and grow and love the most, are the ones that just happen.

So I vow to let our days happen, give us extra extra time to get out that door, and do my best to exude the calm that I so desperately want my children to feel. 

So today I did just that and you know what?  It's the best morning we've had in a long time.

Nuggets::

Ainsley is still raving about her trip to Nana andGrandpa Dan's this past weekend.  She loved every bit of it.  Making Nana's present's with me, riding in the car with Auntie Sonya and Daddy, bumping bellies with silly Grandpa Dan, sledding with Nana.  I love that she can tell me about their trip all on her own, and is at an age where these memories will stick forever.  My big girls is just that, oh so big.

::shying away from the camera while carefully drawing a portrait of nana on her fabric bookmark::

::calm craft time with crayons, watercolors and candles, ooh and Vivaldi, 

our new favorite pandora station::

::tending to those tulips::

Nuggets::

It's been amazing to watch Louise these past few months, she has grown so exponentially.  She talks talks talks and wants to try everything on her own.  She's learned so much from watching her big sister (and us too a little I hope!) and now it's all coming to fruition.  Every moment is something new.  It's times like these I feel so blessed to be at home with them, and know for certain that this job I have is important and worthy.

::family embroidery::

Nuggets::

My weekend with Louise ended as well as it started.  While I'm waiting on our new cleaning products to do the real dirty work we got SO much organizing and de-cluttering done.  It's amazing what can be done with just ONE dumpling underfoot.  And boy we had some fun too.

::photo album perusing, Louise's new favorite::

::uber buttery popcorn snack, can you see the shine on her face? :o)::

Nuggets::

I'm in a good knitting streak and trying to keep the momentum up.  After completing two more of those cute and quick sweaters for girl cousins I made this cotton tank for Louise for the summer.  It's a bit more mustardy than I'd like, but the yarn was from a store closing that I bought ages ago and this one skein project was the perfect way to use it up!  I'm thinking of a felt flower embellishment somewhere, and just this morning we bought Ainsley a purple skein so she can have a matching top! Really, I can't gush enough about baby knitting.  It's the best.

::poor dumpling was ready for bed...is it wrong that I love her sad face so much?  we so rarely see it::

::cast of characters for homemade cliff bars, so easy to make and delicious!

plus Ainsley helped me make them so she calls them "her" bars and eats lots as a result::

::I've found letting the girls eat at the coffee table for lunch helps them eat much more calmly, they love the little chairs that fit just right, and I love them and their yogurt faces :o)::

::my sweet pie::

Nuggets::
Our basement has gone from a veritable storage room last year to a full out playground this year.  Thanks to Nana's great cube and Grammy and Pop's slide gift for Christmas the girls are in jungle gym heaven down there.  I love that we have a place to escape on those dark cold afternoons and how well they're playing together.  It's a good thing all around.

So while the week thus far has been trying this morning has proved that I have it in me to be the parent I want to be.  After a calm music class we drove to my favorite part of town for a quick errand at Penzey's to get spices for dinner.  The girls were so happy that we extended our errands to bagel buying for lunch, yarn buying for Ainsley's new top and even a sweet treat at the patisserie for post nap spoiling.

It was a morning that reminded me of how much I love being a mom, how right and fulfilling this feels to me.  I have no plans for this afternoon, but the sun is shining and my girls are sleeping and I just know it's going to be great.

Happy Hump Day!