Oh Happy Day

Dear Blog,
I am feeling joyous, thankful, blessed, and inspired. A rare, and, of course, welcome combination of emotions. In 5 days Ian and I will own our first home together. We can paint the front stoop whatever color we chose and plant a flowering tree in the backyard (just for you Ian). I can hardly wait.
I love Sunday nights. I know for most it is a night of trepidation preparing for Monday and theworkweek ahead. For me it is a night filled with my favorite TV shows (I'm not ashamed to admit) a glass (or two) of red wine and a couch shared with one of my two favorite people in the world.
Perhaps it's the wine, or the ever emotional and talking-to-my life Brothers and Sisters ( I love this show, so reminds me of my own family minus the hot French boyfriend and the gay brother), but I am feeling rather nostalgic tonight. While I love my life today and yesterday and tomorrow, I do miss days that have passed. Pajama dressing races with my sisters and dance parties before bed. Christmases when I still believed in Santa Claus and that my dolls came to life when I put them to bed at night. College and the friends that I made there. I am reminded tonight of sitting at my computer writing endless English essays praying that Bil would come distract me or Sara from next door. I remember walking across campus to meet John for dinner and always a fun night out and of course Ian and his quirky ways. It's amazing how life can change in a few short years.
The other night Ian and I went out for our first evening date since Ainsley was born. I know, you think it's pathetic, but I'm a stay at home mom with no need (or money) for a babysitter and with the closest family members 45 minutes away by car the opportunity just hasn't presented itself. We were sitting in the car on our way out to the St. Albert's Day dinner honoring all Loyola Science grad students and faculty trying to recall how our lives were before Ainsley, and having a hard time remembering.
I felt so proud of Ian last night. I always do, in the back of my mind behind my pride for Ainsley and myself that I was able to clean the toilet AND make dinner in one day. He is truly amazing. I was sitting there listening to the speakers talk about the importance of scientific research in adding years onto peoples lives and improving the quality of the years that we have and I was taken aback. This is my husband that is doing these amazing things. While I am changing diapers, singing the Itsty Bitsy Spider on round and playing at the park, Ian is changing lives. I am proud of my husband.
As for Ainsley, I am of course proud and in awe. I have felt so stressed out lately with all of the things to do in regards to moving and she has kept me grounded. I look at her little sweet face and I can't help but forget the troubles of the world. My one main regret with her thus far is that I don't feel that I apprecitate her enough. Somedays I am just trying to get by and go from one hour to the next without going crazy. I neglect to notice her new sound or newfound confidence in walking. She is getting so big, not just physically but in the person that she will someday become. It boggles my mind to think that just months ago she was an adorable baby blob needing only food, sleep and cuddling to survive. Now she has opinions and a temperment and a voice that needs to be heard. I wonder who she will be in one year, two, five. Will she have an odd obession with horses, or outerspace, or sparkly things. Whil she want to be an illustrator like her mom or a scientist like her dad, or most likely, something completely of her own design.
Goodness, I am so blessed in my life and while this week will prove to be chaotic and overwhelming I can only hope to keep my eye on these many blessings.