January's End

I can hardly believe January is nearing it's end.  This fall was such a whirlwind I was hoping winter would slow down a bit.  Though yesterday Louise was pondering the seasons while we romped out back in the snow.  When will it be summer mama? And we went through the months, counting the 2 more left in winter, 3 in spring and then finally those final june days, the first of summer.  So much can happen between then and now, and firstly there's quite a bit of winter left.  I'm comforted in both those facts today.

There's been a tragedy in my family.  My Uncle unexpectedly died.  He was just a year older than my own dad.  He left behind my aunt, one of the most loving caring amazing women I know, and my two grown male cousins, younger than me by just a bit.

It's really rocked my world.  After a life filled mostly with sunshine and rainbows the reality of the fragility of our time here has hit hard in recent years.  It's woken me up to my own life, helped me learn to let the little things go a bit more.  I'm still far from the model of a mother and wife and human I wish to be, but I'm trying.

It's made we wonder why we all let the little things bother us so much?  I was at the grocery store check out last week and forgot AGAIN about my new chip credit card that I had to insert rather than swipe.  It meant having to redo the transaction and perhaps 45 seconds more of my time.  I laughed as I told the cashier I'd goofed, could she please try that again?  She laughed too then thanked me for not losing my cool like so many others about the new chip cards.  It made me so sad.  I surely lose my cool over unnecessary things, I did it just this morning when Louise was talking in her funny lisp voice so I couldn't understand her and coughing directly into my face over and over.  It doesn't matter!  I have my life and my family and this beautiful new home.  It's not worth spending the energy or anger over chip cards and fake lisps.

Moving has been good in so many ways, and hard in ways I hadn't considered.  I am loving having a fitness club to go to.  Just this morning I went on a non school day for Felix and he played happily for 45 minutes in the child care room while I run my just sub 9 minute miles (and I know they are now because of the treadmill!) I took him the indoor playground just in the basement where he played for approximately 5 minutes before coming to find me to tell me he's tired and wants to go home.  It's so amazing to have that in our lives right now.  IT feels like a new amazing chapter in so many ways!

I'm vowing to re-up my game and document life a bit better.  If anything as these years pass time is speeding up too.  I look at my children and can hardly believe how big they are.  One step at a time right now.

Winter is Good.

I am officially feeling desperate for a sense of order around here.  Does anyone recall how long it took them after moving to get a system down for things?  Papers, laundry, cleaning, it all seems so up in the air right now!  It's a little thrilling to think we have the chance for a fresh start here, a bit daunting too.  I'm trying to rekindle the things that worked well for us and revamp the things that need changing.  It feels like a lot right now.

I am eager to get the girls more involved in housework.  I need to let go of my tendancy to do things the way I want them done and let them take part.  I think even a weekly rotation of chores is too much to ask right now, so perhaps just a simple chore or two they are responsible for always.  For me bathroom cleaning and dishes are the hardest to motivate for.  Ian usually sets the table and we all help clear.  I'd also love help with dinner some nights.  I used to be so much better about involving the kids and now in our bigger kitchen I need to make good on my promise to get them cooking more.

I've also been struggling with learning tasks with the kids.  Louise is on the cusp of reading more fluently and Ainsley is at the stage where she'd like to be reading chapter books but it's still a bit of work and she tires after a few pages and gets frustrated.  I'm hoping this winter to get their rooms more in order so that quiet reading time up there is more appealing.  Mostly I'm just letting things go for now and giving in to the urge to explore and nest in our new space.

I all but botched my first pair of pants for Felix on the sewing machine this weekend.  I was so confident in my idea that I just blazed ahead and they are the silliest shape imaginable.  I think for now I'll stick to simpler projects that are needed, gators for Montana and a few more knit hats.  I found a great quick pattern that I made for myself and the girls are envious.  Don't mind if I do!

This week cooking feels a bit unfun again.  I have enough in the fridge that I don't want to overdo it, but nothing sounds terribly exciting.  I'm hoping for inspiration while at dance today with the girls so I can jot down some winners.

I went to Target and ran into my sister which is just stupendous.  Put that in the category of "things that would never happen in Oak Park".  In addition to the needs I bought myself a few new things to wear to church.  I know church doesn't care, but I do that I only have a pair of black pants and two "churchy" sweaters.  These pants I found I may never take off.  I've also found a few very comfy blouses that should dress up those black pants nicely.  Yay Christmas money!

This week I'm excited for venturing into potty training with Felix again (perhaps for real this time?), getting organized, delving into making for this house a bit more.  Winter is good for all of these things.

This Week 1/4

This week has been wonderful so far.
For once I was VERY ready for school to start.  The girls were nervous and I had to lift Louise up onto the bus steps to get her to go but they made it and it's been mostly smooth sailing since.  Felix went back to school Monday as well and I very much enjoyed my solo trip to the co-op and a quiet house to make lots of phone calls.  Mondays the girls have dance.  After getting everything ready and meeting them at the bus stop and ushering them to the car and speeding over I realized they have one more week of break.  Louise cried and the rest of us laughed.  We went to the bakery to get some giant cookies and bread and that pretty much made up for it.

Tuesday night I finally made Giada's Roast Chicken and Ian told me to put it on the list.  "You know, mommy used to make food like this all the time when we were newly married."  I guess my standards have slipped.  I will say anytime I can motivate to make something during nap time I don't regret it.  That chicken was dressed with nicely prepared veggies and all ready in the fridge for Ian to pop in the oven as I took Ainsley, with Louise and Felix, to their new pediatrician.  It was nice to come home to a delicious ready meal!

Yesterday was the best yet.  After taking Felix to school I headed straight to a local fitness center I've been hearing about and signed us all up.  The price is so good, even better with health insurance reimbursement, and there's a splash pad and indoor playground for the kids. I'm kind of over the top excited for having this as an option this winter.

When the girls got home from school Ainsley lingered outside to make fairy homes in the snow while Louise and Felix and I made kale chips for snack.  I'd never made them before as kale is the one leafy green I just really don't like.  I will say I liked it much better all crispy roasted and slightly salty, the kids liked it too.  Then Ainsley came in to join us and we tried a new art project, microwave puffy paint.  They LOVED it and it was pretty easy to set up.  They were able to do it all by themselves (Felix too!), microwave and all.  I love independent projects that hold their attention and challenge their creativity! (It's amazing how just giving them circular plates to paint on rather than rectangular paper changes how they use the white space.)  After that I dumped out a bag of pom poms for a few simple activities. Felix loved dropping them from a paper towel tube into a bowl and then they all loved sweeping them across the floor into a square I'd made with tape.

I've been enjoying some quick knitting projects of late.  Gators for the kids and Ian, finally finishing Felix's sweater, some headbands and a new hat for me.  I'm also trying to get my sewing lined up.  Felix needs a new pair of quick change trousers and I may make some for the girls as well.  It's going to start getting COLD!

We've needed to do nothing moving into this house, which has been lovely, but I find it's leaving me antsy to put our stamp on it.  For now I'm excited to make a few new valances for the dining rooms, and eventually the living room, and some for Ainsley's room as well.  I'd never thought to make valances before but all of our bedrooms have simple pull shades and valances and I love them.  It give the windows a bit of interest without blocking too much light. Oh and the LIGHT in this house!  We are situated on a small hill.  The front of the house gets the morning sun and the back gets the evening sun, with the dining room, powder room and kitchen getting light all day long.  I can't even imagine in summer how bright and wonderful it's going to be.  On the few bluebird days we've had it's been glorious.

I've also been couch shopping.  We're one living space short in seating and once we take the Christmas trees out of the living room it's going to feel so bare!  I'm excited to continue to settle in and add our own touches.

Today I am VERY excited to take Felix to the fitness center for the first time.  He can't wait for the splash pad and playground.  I'm excited to try out the nursery and get a little work out in if possible.  I'm really loving not having too much scheduled with the kids.  I love having time afterschool wtih all three to do fun things and play and my mornings with Felix to do more of the same.

In the New Year

Right this minute I should be filling out health forms to take to our new pediatrician.  I could also be sweeping the kitchen for the 400th time or starting the felt garlands I promised for the kids rooms.  There's always so much to be done, isn't there?

I've waited to be back in Minnesota for so long.  In some darker moments these past two years I felt like being home was the only thing that could help me.  Now I'm here and realizing finally, certainly, that it's always a journey.

Back to school went pretty well for the girls.  They were both reluctant to go, a bit sad when they got home, happy to go again this morning.  It's a process for us all and I'm glad we're in it together.
I miss seeing Ian in the morning.  We've had coffee together every morning since college.  I remember buying that giant chair and a half when we were newly married for the sole purpose of sitting close and drinking coffee.  I'm trying to remind myself that in place of that are many great things, like the possibility of date nights, FINALLY! and more time together as a family in the afternoons.  Still, I'll always remember fondly those weekday coffee sipping mornings.

Today Felix and I ran a few errands.  I needed to get buttons for his sweater that I finished last night.  Poor boy is so confused as to why there are all these strings hanging off of his new sweater.  I just can't finish it fast enough for him!  On a side note, it is so disorienting to be shopping in all new stores, can I just say that.  I don't know where anything is anywhere and it's so flustering to me.  I keep thinking of summer and how by then hopefully I'll have a groove down pat.  It'll happen.

After JoAnn's and TJs I vaguely remembered a Caribou around the corner and took Felix for a hot cocoa date.  We sipped and chatted and I was astounded, again, always, by how big he is.  Just swinging his legs talking to me about school and his little life, slurping on hot cocoa.  Life has felt stressful lately dealing with all this moving and setting up our life here, but moments like that carry me a long long way.

I'm always so sad when Christmas is over, perhaps this year especially.  It felt like such a cushion.  I could just focus on the holiday and Ainsley's 7th birthday and not really deal with all those horrible odds and ends of moving (I have to take the written driving test, AGAIN?!!!)  Oh I just really dislike all of that.  I'm trying to see it as another opportunity to grow and learn and focus on all the good stuff in life.  Making our house a home, being with my family, ALL of my family, reconnecting with old friends, finding a groove to keep in touch with old friends.  This is the stuff of life that matters right?  Not the endless phone calls and checks written and stress induced wake ups.  There's always so much good.

I hope the New Year finds you all well!

Food This Week 12/27

Christmas and Ainsley's Birthday are over.  We had the first "it's no fair my birthday is right before Christmas.  I want it to be more spread out!" realization.  But it really was all wonderful.  It helped this new house feel even more like home.

Now i feel like real life is really beginning here.  It's not all so brand new and most things are where they should be.  This winter will be a whole lot of adjusting I'm sure, but for now things feel good and exciting and calmer all at once.  I'm glad for that.

I am SO excited for cooking. I think I'm finally getting the hang of our appliances and this new fancy kitchen a bit more and some new pans from my mom for Christmas helped greatly to get me geared up.

As usual after a holiday I am most excited for simple healthy food.
Tonight it was Smitten Kitchen's Lentil Soup with Sausage and Chard.  It was phenomenal and so easy.  I went to our co-op to get some good homemade italian sausages and french lentils.
While there I noticed they had a bulk bin just for 32 bean and veggie soup so I got a cup of that too to make soup with Ainsley's leftover birthday ham.
Ian wanted burritos so I'm going to make Ree Drummond's recipe.  I'm heading to Trader Joe's with the kids tomorrow to get ingredients.
While brainstorming ideas I landed on roasted chicken which I so rarely make for some reason.  Truthfully I'm just not wowed with roast chicken and I find cooking it right is actually so difficult.  But! A new recipe is always hopeful for me and Giada's with all those herbs and veggies sounds perfect right now in this first true Minnesota cold snap snow.  I can't wait.
I also got some good tuna packed in oil for a pasta or tuna melts.  Once I tried tuna in oil I was hooked!
Oh, and spinach and feta for a frittata or a pizza.  And sweet potatoes for hash and eggs.
I love easy winter cooking.

Ooh and one recipe to note from Christmas, I made Eggnog Pie from a new recipe and it was really good and so easy which I think for me made it taste even better.

Ainsley is sick today, again!  My poor girl is, I'm hoping, just crashing from her big long weekend.  I am so thankful for my mom coming over to watch the kids so I could still grocery shop and for our new DVD player which lets us watch netflix and amazon on the TV.  It's a good snuggle day.

Hoping you all had a wonderful Christmas!

Heartsong

Tomorrow my first baby turns 7.  Each year as she grows one number it feels shocking.  Seven!!!  Seven is so very big, but so small too.  I've had so much time with my girl these past weeks, lots of one on one and thoughtful moments.  I love her so much.  I can't wait to celebrate her tomorrow. But first!!! A little catch up.

I feel like we are really sinking our toes into life here, getting in the new groove.  The girls take the bus at 8:10 every morning, running down our backyard hill across the street to our neighbors' driveway.  They get back at 3:40, jolly driver Elmore waving and smiling away.  It's a good system.  Ian is back just after 4 from work so we have the whole evening together.  I'm excited to get into a better groove with Felix during the days he doesn't have preschool.  That boy's whole life has been packing and unpacking for the last 3 months!

And this place, our home?  Well there is so much to look forward to here.  I've spent lots of brainpower already planning our summer garden.  One of the first things I noticed about this house is that our 1/2 acre has both woods and full sun.  I know right?  This feels like a small miracle, but wait, there's more.  Days after moving in I inspected our two 30 foot raised beds more closely and discovered mature raspberry and strawberry plants.  I don't know if you can see into my soul from the inter web, but mature berry plants are pretty much my heartsong.  I still feel like wetting pants every time I think about July and August next year.

And our garden?  Well, the one house-y thing we've done so far is to have some tree guys come out and have discovered THREE sugar maples and ONE each Norway and regular maple!!! (SYRUP YOU GUYS, or at least THE HOPE OF SOME SMALL AMOUNT OF SYRUP!!!!) and Burr Oaks and a honeylocust and a blue spruce and just all that TREE in our space is so exciting to me it's unreal.

The previous owners had a trampoline that we asked to be removed and in it's place is a large round patch of dirt that I feel is the perfect jumping off point for a giant enclosed garden.  We're plotting how big we can go and what's reasonable but with so much other yard for playing I'm thinking a generous 25'x10' or even 30'x15' space is just what we need to really make a dent in our food stores.  The girls are almost as excited about seed catalogs and harvest canning as I am.  It's like Christmas already came and went 17 times.  For real.

Add to that all the wood in our woods.  A fire pit was added to our backyard just this summer and I'm assuming they cut down a few dead trees to do it and all that wood is nicely piled in two giant stacks just waiting to be hacked down a bit more for our winter fires.  I've already lost track of how many fires I've made and that's just how it should be in Minnesota in the winter.  We have no fireplace tools though so for now I'm making due with my hands as brooms to sweep the ash into the pit and our grill tongs as pokers and pincers.  It's actually quite the system.  And after just a few rounds of pathetically chopping wood with my dad's axe can I just give a shout out to the pioneers etc who need/ed to chop enough wood for whole winter warmth?  Goodness gracious.  My forearms have never been so sore.

So in addition to chopping wood and making fires and dreaming of our harvest time garden we are enjoying our new insides too.  The kitchen will take some major getting used to for me.  I'm switching from a gas to an induction stove which is pretty much the biggest first world problem I can imagine.  Over half of my pans don't work on it and it makes this buzzing noise when it's on high and really I miss my 1960's magic chef 4 burner quite a bit.  Everything else in the kitchen feels so fancy too.  A pull out drawer microwave with sensor reheats and cook modes, a double oven with convection capabilities.  The large granite island is everything we thought it'd be.  I can cook and bake with the whole family gathered around with room to spare.  We actually eat dinner there most nights.  I love it!

In fact the great room is the place to be in our house right now.  I don't know if it's simply because it's such an awesome space or that we're so used to being in close quarters (a lot of both I'm thinking) but that's where you can find us.  It also may have something to do with the fact that our living room has only two rocking chairs for seating right now.  Upgrading house problems!  Though! Our living room does have two Christmas trees.  Ainsley's birthday tree and our 2nd tree with white lights and homemade decorations. So that kind of makes up for the lack of furniture in my eyes.

Right now I'm in a quiet house.  Ian's out doing a last minute "errand" with the kids and I'm trying not to be skeptical.  Oh that boy.  I'm thankful for my quiet house and a moment to reflect on all the goodness around us.

Merry Christmas to you all!

First Weeks Here

Well hello there from our new home in Minnesota.  I still can't fully believe we're here.

We moved in just over two weeks ago to our house.  It felt so weird those first nights.  But then we just kind of settled and at least for Ian and I it feels like it's always been home.

I guess in my mind I expected us all to just jump right back in.  Back of course for Ian and I, but the kids, my girls especially, I wasn't expecting so much angst and sadness. Tonight Louise was sobbing about every little thing (paper cuts, bears) and big things too (I just don't feel as safe here as I did in Oak Park, I'm worried about riding my bike when there aren't sidewalks!).  Ainsley has really had a tough time of it.  If you're the praying type say a prayer for our girl please.  I am so thankful to be in a place where we have so much support, school, doctors, parents and family.  It's been overwhelming in ways I hadn't even fathomed.

Ian and I are doing really well, Felix too.  Felix LOVES his new preschool and has not shown one blip in the radar.  I am so thankful for that!  I feel an ease and comfort that I haven't felt in a long time.  We love our home so much.  It feels like a dream everytime I cook in the kitchen or walk into our backyard to take the girls to the bus, or snuggle on the couch in our basement to watch a Christmas movie with the girls. or use our OWN bathroom!  It's crazy.  Ian is really liking his new job, the work and all the people there. We are both homesick for Oak Park though.  I wish it were easier to just pop down for a day.  See some favorite people, eat some favorite food.  It's going to be a longer adjustment than we'd planned for, but we'll get here.  That first big snowfall here and ice skating and sledding and fort building would really help.  Come on snow!!!

This year I am extra thankful for Christmas.  It's been hard to let go of those wonderful weeks of preparation and really get down to the bare necessities of celebrating, but we're loving it still.  Baking cookies for a new neighborhood cookie exchange, making (and eating sneakily!) gingerbread houses, counting down the days, decorating TWO trees!!! (one just with white lights and homemade adornments, something I've always wanted but haven't had the space for!).  Ainsley is over the top excited for her birthday, tinged with sadness about not being able to celebrate with her friends from Oak Park.  I'm excited for her big family party and hoping she warms up to the idea of a little party with new friends in the new year.

I'm somehow just about set with gifts and to dos.  I'm making so very little this year which is sad to me, but I'm looking forward to the long winter ahead with my sewing machine humming and the fire crackling in time with my knitting needles.  It will happen, there's time for all of it.

First settling in more, getting our girls all righted and happy, and loving on this new home of ours.