January's End

I can hardly believe January is nearing it's end.  This fall was such a whirlwind I was hoping winter would slow down a bit.  Though yesterday Louise was pondering the seasons while we romped out back in the snow.  When will it be summer mama? And we went through the months, counting the 2 more left in winter, 3 in spring and then finally those final june days, the first of summer.  So much can happen between then and now, and firstly there's quite a bit of winter left.  I'm comforted in both those facts today.

There's been a tragedy in my family.  My Uncle unexpectedly died.  He was just a year older than my own dad.  He left behind my aunt, one of the most loving caring amazing women I know, and my two grown male cousins, younger than me by just a bit.

It's really rocked my world.  After a life filled mostly with sunshine and rainbows the reality of the fragility of our time here has hit hard in recent years.  It's woken me up to my own life, helped me learn to let the little things go a bit more.  I'm still far from the model of a mother and wife and human I wish to be, but I'm trying.

It's made we wonder why we all let the little things bother us so much?  I was at the grocery store check out last week and forgot AGAIN about my new chip credit card that I had to insert rather than swipe.  It meant having to redo the transaction and perhaps 45 seconds more of my time.  I laughed as I told the cashier I'd goofed, could she please try that again?  She laughed too then thanked me for not losing my cool like so many others about the new chip cards.  It made me so sad.  I surely lose my cool over unnecessary things, I did it just this morning when Louise was talking in her funny lisp voice so I couldn't understand her and coughing directly into my face over and over.  It doesn't matter!  I have my life and my family and this beautiful new home.  It's not worth spending the energy or anger over chip cards and fake lisps.

Moving has been good in so many ways, and hard in ways I hadn't considered.  I am loving having a fitness club to go to.  Just this morning I went on a non school day for Felix and he played happily for 45 minutes in the child care room while I run my just sub 9 minute miles (and I know they are now because of the treadmill!) I took him the indoor playground just in the basement where he played for approximately 5 minutes before coming to find me to tell me he's tired and wants to go home.  It's so amazing to have that in our lives right now.  IT feels like a new amazing chapter in so many ways!

I'm vowing to re-up my game and document life a bit better.  If anything as these years pass time is speeding up too.  I look at my children and can hardly believe how big they are.  One step at a time right now.