Togetherness

This past weekend was a bit weird.  Saturday was amazing.  It was one of those dark cloudy steady rain days that could easily have gone either way.

We'd come off a great Friday.  The summery weather had the girls and I in good spirits.  We'd resurrected the oscillating sprinkler and I'd forgotten how much ecstasy can be wrapped up in a tiny piece of water squriting plastic, for little ones at least.  After a CRAZY morning at the zoo (litereally, it was so crowded we could hardly walk through parts) I was so excited for a quiet nap time.  After sitting outside and eating a sandwich (so maybe 5 minutes peace?) I heard the all too familiar squeak of the back screen door.

"Oh mama, don't worry, I'm just letting you know that I'm not going to nap today because I'm all ready in my swimsuit to play in the SPINKLER!!!!"


After I got over my annoyance at no nap I smiled, happy to indulge my girl.  Then of course I heard Louise chirping on the monitor. They must have planned this.  So at 1:10 pm on a Friday no less, I gave up on quiet time and turned on the spigot.

We pretty much had TONS of fun.  The girls were so well occupied together, happy and laughing and  gleeing around the yard.  Ainsley made up games for them to play like... 


Ok Louise here's how it goes.  First you have to run through REAL fast then you need to touch three plants ok?  ONE TWO THREE. No Louise, THESE plants.  Ok yeah, now say ONE TWO THREE. Louise sweetly replies K Acey, UN DO DEE!!!.  GOOD Louise!  Again again!  GAIN GAIN!!!


While the girls romped I weeded and continued to try to tame the before image of the secret garden that is our yard.  Oh goodness, the weeds may never end.  I'm taking a page from the locals books and throwing caution and order to the wind.  I have nasturtiums circling around herbs, lettuce in big high pots so the rabbits HOPEFULLY won't keep munching on them, swiss chard winding around hibicus trees and beets backed up to Lupines.  Other than the dedicated veggie patch in the corner, it's all fair game and because I'm so orderly about my planting we're sure to have some surpises in a few weeks Oh!  I'd forgotten about those pumpkins there, what on EARTH was I thinking?  Good thing the Farmer's Market starts up this weekend.  I need it to save me from myself!

the peonys decided to show themselves just in time for Mother's Day

Then Saturday was equally fabulous.  Ian informed me that my early Morther's Day gift was a second pair of the amazing jeans I'd found (ok, been meticulously lead to) the previous weekend.  Shopping two weeks in a row?  Someone pinch me.  So while I perused Nordstroms for a different wash of my favorites Ian had a horrific time with the girls at Barnes and Noble.  Ahh, aimless browsing may be the worst activity for a 1 and 3 year old EVER.  Poor guy.  But I found my amazing pants and managed to score Ainsley 7 new tshirts, a pair of jean shorts and 3 new pairs of socks at Once Upon a Child for $24.   Great finds all around.

We went home and recovered and Ian entertained the girls while I made them each a new nightgown.  One of Ainsley's ripped in Florida and I was determined to revamp the pattern to make the bodice more durable.

A shortened fleece gown for Louise, a willowy lacey bottomed one for Ainsley, both with lined bodices to sturdy them up.  I simply must find a way to make one of these for myself.  Too bad I don't fit in a pillowcase anymore.

So really, Saturday held all the pampering I needed.  But of course I awoke (late mind you) Sunday to a handmade (handprinted...go Ian!) card and two eager girls.  In retrospect I should have read in Ian's face that he was a bit spent before the day had hardly begun.  He made us all delicious cream cheese scrambled eggs and we suited up for a family walk.

He diverted the girls to a park while I popped into the Buzz (our little local coffee place) for a rare hazelenut WHOLE MILK latte.  Mmmm.  I sipped it on the bench and watched him push the girls,  happy to be the sitting sipper and not the pusher.  Then when the time came to leave disaster struck.  Louise fussed in the wagon and Ainsley writhed about heading home.  Ian kept his cool but I could feel my blood boiling.  A block or so from home Ainsley plunked down on the sidewalk and refused to move.  Of all the days Ainsley, OF ALL THE DAYS!!! 

I snapped.  I swept her up hard and charged home.  Tears forming in my eyes.  I put her in her bedroom, instructing her shortly to stay there until we'd both calmed down.  I started furiously putting clothes away in our room next door, slamming drawers and pulling hangers down.  The usual calm that comes with the end of a time out wasn't there for me that time.  Even after she'd apologized, tears in her eyes, I was mad.

The rest of the day was like a horrific game of keepaway.  Ian sensed my frustration at how the morning had ended up and kept the girls at bay.  While I got my angry energy out through cleaning and organizing he kept the girls in the backyard, fed them lunch and put them down for naps by himself.  When they awoke he took them on an errand to get dinner fixings in the burley.

As I went about the rest of mother's day flustered and very much on my own, my anger quickly turned into sadness.  On a day that I really just wanted to be with my family, to celebrate what we have together, what Ian and I have made and worked so hard for, it turned out that all I wanted was a break from it all.

It's not Ian's fault that Ainsley was in rare form yesterday.  It's not his fault that Louise seems to have turned the official toddler corner as of last Tuesday (seriously, I could pinpoint the moment for you that it happened,  right in the middle of musikgarten).  It's not his fault that what should have been a tiny glitch totally ruined my mood and by extension our day.  It all just made me so sad, and sad for him, because MAN he tried.

But this parenting thing is tough, everyone knows that.  For me this parenting 24/7 because it's my job thing has really been wearing on me.  Because even when Ian's home or Sonya's over or we're with other parents and friends I'm always on, I have to be, I'm their mom.  I never get a break from the disciplining, the whining the backbreakingly exhausting work of hauling, feeding, erranding, negotiating, activity making, planning.  It's always there.  I realized yesterday that to fight it, to try and take a day "off" is way worse, for everyone.

So tonight we're having a redo.  I'm planning on running with the girls just as soon as they wake up (instead of later when Ian's home as I usually do), going to pick up our boy with big smiles (because goodness, he deserves it and needs the ride until we jump his car tonight), making real buttermilk fried chicken for the first time (like I'd planned to do last night until I lost my zeal for anything servant related), and devoting myself tonight to my family, not myself.  Because to me that's what being a mom is all about.

finally (kind of) captured Louise's face rub love on camera

she stares deep in my eyes, then rubs her little grubby hands all over my face and hair, 

ah, I love it so much

So today we're reinstating togetherness.  My training schedule and Ian's work schedule have made it hard to be just us 4 much these past weeks.  So this crummy mother's day was actually a great day, because it reminded me of what I really want.  To be with them, to walk through life with them.  Because being alone and cleaning all day was really no fun at all (ok, a little fun, I get that from MY mom :o)

We're off to a good start.  This morning after dropping Ian off and driving a bagillion miles to Costco to get "cheap" gas (did you know Chicago's gas is the highest in the nation?  so when you're crying at the pump think of how much extra we're crying), the girls and I went to our local hardware store and hauled a 60" plastic pool all the way home, yes with a full trunk of grocerys and both my girls, and no, I could not recreate for you how we did this if I wanted to, and yes, it was worth it.

mornings spent this way are the best kind of togetherness

girly giggles and laughs and golden hair in faces

cottage cheese lunches spent looking at those big eyes?  I never want to be alone again

So Mother's Day, thank you for being so awful, because today I feel more like a mom than ever.  In the best possible way.  I can't wait to spend the rest of it with this family we've made.

Happy Belated Mother's Day out there!  I hope yours was as good as mine was!

This Moment

Ainsley May - 40 months

Dear Sweet Ainsley Girl,
  You are still our peanut of peanuts.  I often wonder how so much vim and vigor can come from such a small frame.  But vigor you have, for play, for friends, for life in general.  Every day continues to be such an adventure with you and as much as you (STILL) wear me out on a daily basis when you are finally asleep  I can't resist slipping into your room to tuck your covers around you tight, kiss that sweet smooth brow and whisper "I love you Ainsley girl" because I do I do, every minute.

This moment you are SUCH a good big sister and I can officially say that you and Louise are best buds.  You watch out for her when we're out and about.  You let me know when she's getting into mischief and you love explaining our household rules to her.  I couldn't have hoped for the two of you to get along better.

making mischief together

sharing popcorn snack

This moment you are hilarious.  You have learned sarcasm and use it all the time.  you love to tell us "jokes".  Your current favorite is, said in a tiny whipser voice, "hey mama, when I wake up I'm gonna go POOP in the backyard".  Ahh fecal humor.  We're there in full force.  You also LOVE to make Louise laugh, you always have, but now you get how to play along, how to dramatize to get the full effect.  It's so great to watch.

heading to comicon with daddy

This moment you are so incredibly creative.  Our free play time in the mornings and at the end of the day are almost always filled with elaborate Ainsley concocted wonderment.  Yesterday you and Louise and lamby were playing Goldilocks and the three bears.  You dressed up, moved things around to mimic the bears house, told the whole story, the whole shebang if you will.  You could play dress up ALL the time.  The other day Louise woke up fussy from her nap and I hear you stirring as well so we both came in to get you.  To our surprise we found you dressed in your toddler sized zebra costume and both Louise and I burst out in giggles.  You wanted me to call you Zebra baby for the rest of the afternoon and crawled on all fours until dinner.  You also love playing fairy and princess, birds making nests, doctor and chef.  You are such a good player!

This moment you are learning so quickly.  Since reading your first book a few weeks back your interest for words and numbers has erupted.  You take such care with each book we read to point out sounds you know, to count EVERYTHING, to notice similarities and differences.  In one of our favorite books you noticed in one of the illustrations that the perspective was off and that the little boy up in his bunk bed wouldn't have been able to climb down his ladder because a lamp was in his way.  You were right!  So we talked about artist choices (and sometimes mistakes!) and had fun learning about perspective.  You are so observant.  It's so wonderful to see this zeal come all from you.

at the botanic gardens with daddy, louise and auntie sonya

I love you THIS moment, funny and sweet, cantankerous and active.  I can't wait to see what the next months will bring!


Louise Adele - 20 months

Dear Louise-e-bean,
  Oh goodness girl, how you are growing.  You are still as sweet as ever, comply with most anything we ask you to do and are such a cuddly snuggly girl. However you are full on in toddler mode, saying NO MAMA! more than ever, running in the opposite direction that I ask to you go quite often and fighting back with your sister when prompted.  You are still the sweetest toddler I've ever known but you are definitely testing the waters!

This moment you are talking so much.  We went from single words to two and three word sentences all day long!  It is so exciting and fun to be able to communicate with you so well.  For instance, I now know that your favorite animal is an elephant, that you prefer to be naked over being dressed (although give you a fancry dress and party shoes and you'll strut you stuff ALL day long).  You love being outside and playing withe water and crayons are your favorites.  You also love you babies and feeding them and caring for them is a daily routine.  You really love ANY and ALL animals and squeal with delight whenever you see a cat or dog out and about, oh and the bunnies at the park!  Yesterday at the park you stood proudly at the top of the big fast slide and said "Mama!  I comin!" and zoomed down to me.  I loved that.

This moment you absolutely adore books and I am amazed at your focus and concentration while we read.  You and Ainsley and I read together every day and you can sit through her longer books like a champ and point and count objects right along with her.  You can now count to 10 and sing your ABCs (not to mention just about any other song, you are quite the singer).  If you're not playing pretend with Ainsley you can most likely be found sitting in your big blue chair in your room paging through a full length children's book.  Today when I took you up for your nap your crib was filled with books.  When I asked who put them there you smiled proudly and said "Me mama!  Book books!"

proudly sitting on your potty!

This moment you are one big mess.  We've entered that delightful toddler stage when I feel like you're NEVER clean.  If it's not food all over it's crayon or marker, watercolor paint or dirt from outside.  I love that your little grubby fingers and toes alert the world to all the exploring you do.  I just wish it didn't' make for so many loads of laundry!

This moment you are such a big girl.  My baby is all but gone (except for those early morning and late evening hours when you still want nothing but your mama's lap and you nana's (blankies)).  You eat big kid food, drink out of big girl cups, are starting to pick out your own clothes and dress yourself.  You have such opinions and personality and I absolutely love you to bits!

gnoshing on jimmy johns

I love you this moment, growing and changing, learning and sweet, my big Louise girl.

Nearly Perfect Morning

Sleeping in through my baby's happy chatter.  This has never happened before (the sleeping in, of course not the chatter).
Waking slowly, calmly with just us three (because daddy of course did not miss the chatter).
Bounding energy when my oldest joins us.  She's started sleeping in that one, getting bigger and older every day.
Easy rare daddy made breakfast.
Time to dress and ready well.
Garden chores with two eager littles.  Oh how well Ainsley drenches those newly planted seeds, and sweet Louise sweeps and sweeps.
Anticipating pumpkins, peas, beans, tomatoes, lettuces, carrots, chard and so soon peonys.
Biking instead of driving.
Music making with friends.
Honoring  one of our favorite authors and illustrators by filling our library bag with his treasures.
Indoor picnic enjoying our new finds.
Discovering that picnics after the library are a ritual of ours, always always.
Thankful naps to energize for the afternoon.
Quiet time for mama, with new books, hot tea, warm shawl, soft rain, and peace.

Nearly. Perfect. Morning.

Adult Food

I love food.  Have I said this before?  I LOVE FOOD.

I've always been a good eater.  I remember cleaning my plate as a kid, learning to try everything at least once, the bottomless pit that my stomach became when it came to sweets.  Mmm.  Food.

But now I'm all grown up, well, mostly, and I get that food is more than just taste. I get that sometimes you need to eat sauteed chard, even when all you want is a second helping of creamy mashed potatoes, bceause you know, it's good for you.  I get that I shouldn't bake (and eat) a batch of cookies a week (but you only live once right? and what's life without cookies!)  I get that I probably shouldn't buy butter in bulk because that's just asking for trouble (but come ON! It's SO much cheaper!)  I get that moderation is key, variety a must.  I get it.

Then I had kids.  Did you know that having kids makes it REALLY hard to eat well?  Well, they do.

I vowed when I had kids to start them eating right from the start.  I made their baby food, no real feat on it's own, but I made better food for them than I ever made for myself.  Blackberry ricotta parfaits, minced lamb and pear braises, heck, the first time I tried bulgur was in a casserole I made for Ainsley.

But somewhere I'd lost myself.  Like a lot of mothers and wives out there, I put most of my energy towards making stuff for THEM, the kids and the boy.  I fiddled with mac and cheese until I had a healthy (well, healthy-ish) recipe that my girls loved,  tried countless roast and chicken marsala recipes until I had them perfect (Ian's favorites).  But what about me?

While eating yet another cream cheese and boysenberry jam on whole wheat with my girls the other day it hit me.  I want to LOVE food again.

Luckily for me, this epiphany occurred in the midst of reading my new all time favorite book A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg, truly the perfect compilation of all things I hold most dear: humor, family, stories, growing, learning, loving, oh yeah, and food.  I first got this book at the library on a recommendation from Chinaberry.  3 chapters in I simply knew I had to own it, that lending it back would be far too painful and wrong.  So I used residual birthday amazon funds (I know, I'm impressed I've stretched them this far too) to purchase my own beautiful copy.  I haven't put it down.

Firstly, the author?  Molly?  She's like the fourth sister I never had.  I'll be honest, I have a bit of a crush on her.  She studied French and anthropologie in college, dated hippie vegetarians and moved to France when it all felt a bit stiff.  She ate her way through patisseries and cafes, living on fresh baguettes, pan au chocolates and ratatouille.  Then she came home and revamped.  Discovered she too loved food and writing and made a living out of it.  Amazing.

Ridiulously wonderful writing and charm aside, I want to make EVERYTHING in her book.  Each chapter ends with (or leads up to, depends on how you look at it) a recipe.  A dessert her mom only made for special occassions that she still salivates over, the sentimental eggs she spoon fed her father while he wasted away from bone cancer, the simple delicious meals she learned to make with her vegetarian fiance.  I love them all.

Last weekend I made her coeur a la creme.  A deceptively simple dessert.  Think cheescake mousse with a seedless raspberry sauce.  Delicious and SO decadent even I couldn't finish an entire bowl.  Definitely putting that one on the list.

Then I was primed.  You know me and chefs.  Once I find one I like I go a little nuts (coughthepioneerwomancough). I couldn't get my mind off her brilliant and delicious sounding lunch regimine of homemade soup with fresh bread and a few slices of good cheese.  I just had to copy.  So I made her tomato fennel soup, bought a delicious wedge of gouda and fresh rolls, and Ian and I devoured it.  I haven't had something that good (and simple) in a long long time.

Tomato Soup with Two Fennels

Saturday night was the real test.  We had friends coming over, an occasion that typically necessitates a menu, surely shopping for special ingredients, planning, timing, execution.  But I was spent.  After a big-ish run in the morning and an upset stomach following (thanks dumb energy bar I ate on an empty stomach before a 6 miler :oP) I had little zeal left for food and was weary of spending lots on a meal I hardly had the palate for.  So I scrounged.  Made some pizza dough, carmelized some onions, fried up a bit of bacon and topped the dough.  The pizza came out nicely if I do say so myself.  Carmelized onion, spinach and olive pizza on one crust, bacon and egg pizza on the other (ooh, that was surprisingly good).  Our guests brought delicious salad and wine and after the girls finally exited the party we devoured Molly's French Yogurt Cake.  I substituted orange zest for the lemon and added a layer of frozen blackberries in the middle.  Glazed with a simple syrup this cake was near perfection and so simple.  I'm in love.

All that was left this morning, 

spoon and all from an impromptu post breakfast pre outing scarf by Ian

And how could I stop with the success of that cake?  Last night while pork chops simmered in a bath of onions, carrots, potatoes and a brothy roux I mixed up Molly's banana bread with crystallized ginger and chocolate chips.  How did I happen to have crystallized ginger in the pantry?  well, ask the gingerbread I never made last December.  I knew I'd use it some time!  Family tea and game time tonight was nicely rounded out with the subtle surprise of soft ginger.  I may never make normal banana bread again.

Louise, her tea, an errant shoe (is there ALWAYS a lone shoe roaming around our home?) 

and Orchard, my favorite family game.

It's been good, this discovery of food that's good and me, the assurance that my tastes matter too, that it's ok to make something just for me every once in a while, and as it turns out?  the rest of my family seems to like my taste too.

Ahh.  Adult food, welcome back to my life.  And Molly?  Thanks so much for showing me the way.

Fancy Pants

Today I did something I haven't done in months.  I went shopping.  For myself.

It all started Tuesday morning, the spring chill enough to make me dig further in my long pants drawer than I had in weeks.  Hmmmm.  Hole.  Hole.  So terribly faded I can't believe there isn't a hole yet.  Too big.  Too small.  Why did I ever buy these, they look HORRIBLE on me.  Hmmm.

After weeks of getting by with the one pair of jeans I own that DON'T have a hole in the knee (but ooh, they almost do) and my amazing sweater leggings, I'd had enough.

Clearly I am no fashion guru.  Sure, I had my brush with abercrombie striped sweaters and Doc Martin's in middle school, because surely I couldn't have shown my face in public had I not.  When in my inevitable teenage I'm too cool for mainstream stage I made my own hippie patchwork sided corduroys. Oh goodness was that the lowpoint? or was it that terrible hairbow I wore just on the very front on my head in 7th grade.  What WAS I thinking?

I feel like I'm in the midst of a fashion re-birth.  But wait, you had to first be fashionable to have a rebirth right?  Whoops. (Please stifle you're own laughter, I'm giggling enough for the lot of us).

So you see, I'm due for a rehaul, or really a direction at all.  Turns out it feels really good to clean out your clothes.  Keep only the things that fit really well and make you feel great.  And if you REALLY want a fashion ego boost?  Slap some Burts Bees tinted lip balm on (because it's the closest thing you own to actual lipstick), don your fanciest old navy blouse (you know, the one you bought before Christmas when you realized all you had in the "fancy" department was a little black dress from college and a cashmere sweater with holes in it from the thrift store), and march into Nordstroms like you own the place and let your good friend Jamie, the most enthusiastic sales clerk ever, take over from there.

It was amazing.

Looking for jeans ma'am?


(fumbling with the one rack of jeans I could find, almost knocking it over) Um, yeah!


What kind?


Um, not mom jeans! (awkward haha, what does he MEAN what kind of jeans?  I'm here because I haven't been shopping at a place other than Gap since 2008!...recover Becky, recover.)
Well, I'd like something youthful, not too skinny, but fitted.  I'm short, so I don't look great in wide legs or flares.


(Jamie thoughtfully steps back and examines my embarrassingly faded Gap disasters)  
Well girl.  I know just what you need.  We'll find you something fabulous for that petite curvy thing you got goin' on.


Sounds great! (oh man Becky, keep it together!  don't let him see your terror and excitement)


I proceeded to blindly follow Jamie as he feverishly zipped around the store.  Hemming and hawing and oohing over this wash and that length.  Before I knew it I had 4 pairs of jeans that I never in a million years would have picked out for myself.  But I'm polite, my mama taught me well.  I smiled and let him lead me to a big fancy dressing room.  I closed to door, took a deep breath, and unzipped.

Every girl out there knows what comes next.  Ok, every NORMAL girl.  If you're one of those girls who fits perfectly into a size 2 and doesn't' even need to try pants on because your slender backside slides in seamlessly every time....I HATE YOU!!! I mean, good for you.  But if you're like me you kind of dread jean shopping.

I pulled the first pair off the hanger.  Jamie had insisted I was a 6, but I was nervous that I wasn't and would have to ask him to please come back and get me a size bigger in every pair.  I held my breath and pulled and wiggled and zipped.  Perfection.

I think I spent 3 solid minutes just examining my backside in the 3 way mirror.  What is happening?  Oh. My. Goodness.  Is that MY butt?  Are those MY thighs?  No way.  NO WAY!  Perfection.

And the next pair?  Double perfection.  And that weird pull on pair?  oh my goodness.  And those teal green almost skinny jeans that felt like brushed cotton?  Man oh man, if I had all the money in the world.

How are we doing in there girl?  Things workin out for you?


Oh yeah Jamie.  Things are working out really well.  I love them all!


Haha.  That's what I thought.


After primping and preening in each pair at least twice more I made a decision.  A really tough decision.  I picked the most practical pair.  The one I knew I could wear to the park with ease, but also pair with my fancy old navy blouse for a night out with Ian.  I met Jamie at the checkout and he was pleased with my choice.

I told you girl!  Those were my favorites!


I meandered around the fancy open air mall a few minutes more.  SAvoring the experience and the freedom.  I bought an Aunt Annie's pretzel to munch on during the ride home, you know, to authenticate the whole shopping experience.  I browsed a few more places but bought nothing.  Nothing could top Jamie and my amazing new pants that make me feel like myself.  I may never take them off.

Jeans by Kut from the Kloth

PS: Jamie taught me how to roll my cuffs.

PPS: Jamie's Boss, if you're reading this, give that man a raise.  He's gooood.

Mama Overtime

Just when I think it's over it starts again.  The super late nights, the weekend workdays.  It's occurred to me all at once that when he's working overtime, so am I.

Really, it's not so bad.  I remember it being more jarring those first times a year or so ago.  I was still new to the mama of 2 thing...let alone the solo parent of 2 for 14 straight hours thing.  But I know my girls so much better now, know myself as a parent.  We get along just fine.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I've learned to drag out the day as long as possible.  Plan "special" events for excitement for us all.  On the first overtime day we went for a 6pm rainwalk.  Usually we'd be eating dinner then, but we'd had a late snack and bedtime seemed far off.  Oh boy, did we have fun.

Louise insisted on carrying her own full sized umbrella the whole way.  Let me tell you, there's nothing much cuter (or slower) than a 20 month old dwarfed under a red mushroom shelter.

not so happy about her hood here...clever raincoat, she couldn't pull it off no matter how hard she tried

Ahh, and my big girl, she knows just what to do with all that rain, oh, puddles too

We stopped at this puddle for a good 15 minutes, the girls entertained endlessly by it's depth and squish, I by our brave neighbor planting her annual garden in the all out downpour "this is the way to do it!" she assured me...I have to say, it looked like fun.

Upon our arrival home you could have wrung the girls out.  Soaked from head to toe I stripped them down in our foyer (a fancy word for those 4 cubic feet between our outside and inside front doors) and hauled my naked babes up to bathe.  

How we all love a good bath, especially to warm those bone chilled little bodies.

We of course cook lots.  Our new favorite?  "Smoothies".  Simply put a bunch of frozen fruit in a blender, cover it by an inch or so with milk, blend...whalla!  My girls are in love with this new warm weather snack, and I love that it's easy to make and gives them lots of calcium and vitamins without ANY extra sugar (come on! I have to make up for our cookie consumption somewhere!).

And Ainsley loves the blending.

I'm seeing way too much of this tongue these days.

Freshly awoken Louise.  One shoe off and one shoe on.

Mmmmm smoothie snack. 

If you saw this on facebook I apologize for the repeat, but I couldn't leave out the best/worst moment of the past 3 days.  Here I thought they were nicely playing for a full hour.  Well, they were, just in their own "special" way.

And if you're wondering how to de-sand two little ones without clogging your hundred year old pipes?    Let's just say there was a hose and a lot of backyard nakedness.  Ainsley almost liked that more than the sandy mess.

She's got those eyes DOWN.

To round out the overtime days Louise and I kept extra busy this morning while Ainsley was at school.  First we visited the Economy Shop (our absolute favorite local thrift store).  I scored, big time.  A vintage (at least vintage looking) glass cream bottle, 4 new sewing patterns, a roll of fingerpaint paper, 3 sets of knitting needles, a gallon sized ziploc of colored clay, an embroidery box filled with thread, a new set of crayola markers, and 5 pillowcases (for more summer nightgowns) and 2 full sheets (for jammie pants).  Grand total?  $7.50.  Gets me every time.

Watch out Laura Ingalls. Pioneer girls Ainsley Vaagenes is right on your tail...she's pretty pumped about this pattern, me too!

I may be a bit obsessed with other people's old sheets.  I paid under $3 for this loot...ah, the yardage! the possibilities!

After the girls are down each night I have no problem admitting that I indulge.  A thick glass of wine, an oatmeal chocalate chip cookie (or two!), new sock knitting (because it's never too early to start Christmas gifts), and old shows.  It's at these times though that I miss my boy the most.  The couch feels big and empty, the house too quiet.  Ahh, at least there's wine.

This is one my favorite wines...I call it chicken wine, have since college, because I'm fancy like that.

I leave the house just a tidge messy.  A shoe here, a tin of crayon blocks there, a wooden espresso machine wherever it happens to land from the day of baristaing, because truly I AM just THAT tired and those last few things are just too monumental to deal with.  Plus is it wrong that I kind of love that impossible small sneaker on the coffee table?

And the last thing that really helps?  My new shawl.  I am smitten.

It's my own personal blanket, enveloping me in warmth and softness.  It makes me feel luxurious and relaxed all at once.  The girls are made with jealousy.  At least I know what to make for them next Christmas!

Ahh.  So we've survived.  Ian's big talk is today and while I expect lots of crazy days to come as the PhD years comes to a close, it's good to know we got this, we're good.

Till next time!