Where to Start

The problem with blogging so infrequently is that by the time I actually sit down to write I have a million, yes literally a million, things to say. Do I go with an account of the days that have passed? A rant about the things that are driving me crazy or gushing of the things that I love? Let's try a little of each shall we?

On Monday we (Ian, Ainsley and I) got back from our trip to Minnesota for my sister's wedding. While I wish I could say that the trip was wonderful, the terrible stomach flu we ALL got and dreary April-like weather put a bit of a damper on the vacation. The wedding itself was beautiful and flawless. I made it through my maid of honor speech without stumbling, or breaking down, Jenny looked gorgeous, and Ian took care of our kantankerous toddler. I think the photographer even ended up getting a few good shots of her! My only regret is not getting a formal family photo. Below you'll find the one and only. It will have to do!

The week before, minus the puking and fevers, really wasn't that bad. We got some good shopping in (I had to take advantage of no sales tax on clothes) and Ainsley had a blast with all the attention from family and friends. I did too. I found loads of great deals at Gap Maternity and Old Navy for me. I keep trying to think of what I'm going to want to wear towards the end of my pregnancy...nothing! considering the sweltering heat and hugeness I'll be dealing with. Thankfully maxi dresses and super soft tank tops are in abundance. I should be good to go.

Grammy and I took Ainsley to get measure for new shoes. She's really shot up in the past couple of months and since we first measure her in the late fall she's 1.5 sizes bigger! While I was sad to retire her first pairs of good walking shoes and sandals it was fun to pick out new ones.

Grammy bought her some real "big girl" sneakers, saucony's..they're SO cute.

I got her a new pair of sandals. Apparently her feet are very narrow so she doesn't fit into See Kai Runs which I mourned briefly, as they're my favorite baby shoe brand, until I found these Umis which are adorable.

This may be my new favorite brand. Ainsley seems to like them so far! Of course the $5 crocs Joann gave her in Florida are still her favorites. I think she likes that she can put them on herself.

So of course after being home for a few days I'm going through the typical Minnesota withdrawal. I know I'll get used to it again like I always do but it's such a shock to the system to go from being surrounded by family and friends to just the three of us overnight. I keep vowing to be better about setting up playdates and dinner parties with friends but time just always seems to get away from me. We are already planning our next trip to MN hopefully over the 4th of July and then I'm mentally prepared to be in Oak Park until baby girl is born. I hope we can make it up one more time before then though.

I've had a blast looking through Ainsley's old baby clothes and remembering how tiny a newborn is. The good news about having another girl is that we really don't need to buy too much, on the flipside I WANT to buy things which I can justify. Because I was on bedrest at 34 weeks with Ainsley and was really good about not buying things before then it was up to my wonderful mom and sisters to stock the dresser with newborn clothes for me. I've had fun buying a few things here and there (a few matching with Ainsley of course). And now I know the things that I like for newborns.

I do need to buy some new cloth diapers as the bumgenious that we use were HUGE on Ainsley until she was 4 months old. I'm thinking these ones

They're a bit more expensive than the kissaluvs we used for Ainsley but as we'd only need about 6-8 of them to supplement what we already have I'm thinking it's worth it.

I'm also thinking of one particular splurge that I really wanted with Ainsley, a moses basket. With Ainsley it wasn't really practical. In our small apartment her bedroom was always steps away. In our new house I'd love to have one to lay the baby in wherever I'd need to put her down while playing with Ainsley. I think it makes perfect sense, right?

Well this ended up being way more of one of those dry posts. I just had way too much fun "window shopping" online tonight.

So, the uber productive surge has passed and I find it hard to scrape myself out of bed in the morning. I'm starting to wake up all the time and for long chunks of time at night with no hope of getting sleepy anytime soon. I forgot this lovely phase of pregnancy.

Ainsley has started to really try my patience, and parenting skills. I wasn't prepared for this stage to hit yet but it has so here we go. Her new antics include climbing up onto the dining room table, dropping utensils into the heating vents, and in general being incredible destructive with anything she can get her hands on. I'm hesitant to say that she's really testing me yet, although I'm sure that's some of it. Sadly, I think she's bored. This child needs stimulation 24/7.

Its not like I sit around and do nothing with her all day. I make a point to get around other babies and moms once a day, whether at musikgarten or the library or parks. And we get outside now to play and garden and go for walks. Sadly my body's attention span for physical activity is dwindling fast. Today a 3.5 mile walk left me in excruciating pain for the rest of the afternoon. Sad isn't it.

I've started to try to do more crafts and "calm" activities with her, and they go over well for oh, about 3 minutes and then she's had it. She loves play dough (eating and sculpting) and like to draw for a few minutes. I'm excited for the day when we can bake together and garden without her trying to eat the flowers or dirt.

Someday!

The Most Productive weekend EVER

We just wrapped up a great, and exhausting weekend. Ainsley must have felt it too because she signed "sleep" to me this morning at 8:30 and is still down and hour and a half later. I finally caved last night after having terrible allergies for days and took 1 benadryl before bed (don't worry it's safe while pregnant) and KONKED out. It's nice to have a lazy morning this morning.

In the aftermath of the crazy weekend we have two freshly painted rooms (I'll take pictures when the decorating is finished) a half eaten banana cream pie in the fridge, a new grill on the deck, and a surprisingly clean house.

The weather is mild and lovely. I am looking forward to going grocery shopping with Ainsley later this morning (my favorite errand) and continuing to get organized around the house. The combination of spring fever and the nesting instinct is CRAZY but good for productivity.

Happy Monday!

I said DOCTOR!

Title meant to be sung to the tune of "Put the Lime in the Coconut" Ainsley's new favorite song (thanks Pops!).

Both Ainsley and I had successful doctors appointments today. She grew a whole inch coming in at a whopping 30.5 inches jumping her from the 30% to the 70%! Her weight still hangs on in the 16% at 20lbs. 9oz. I wonder whose genes she has? Hmmmm. No really, I'm happy that there's a good possibility she'll be one of those 5'9" 125 lb. beauties who stuff their faces with burgers and fries. I just hope she doesn't mind a short chubby mom in comparison!

Baby Vaagenes v. 2.0 is growing right on track. Strong heartbeat. I gained back the weight I'd lost at my second appointment and then some bringing the grand total of weight gain to 3 lbs. This sounds like nothing but considering I weighed 5 lbs more than I wanted to at the start I'm not quite jumping for joy.

Perhaps there are those women out there who just melt away the baby weight like they say. For me about 25 lbs came off no problem and the last 10 just hung on there. I eventually went down 5 but without time, or energy to devote to any kind of regular workout regimine it felt impossible to lose the weight short of starving myself.

I'm trying to get past this mid pregnancy wall of feeling huge and dreading getting huge-r but it's tough. And I have to say the most obnoxious response to my fears is "it's all for the baby." I beg to differ. Yes the baby weighs something as does all the extra blood and enlarged organs and other "stuff" but the fat is all mine. There's nothing like giving birth to a beautiful healthy baby only to waddle out of the hospital still looking 6-7 months pregnant.

Somehow I thought the second time around I would relish in the flub and just enjoy having the pressure taken off me to get my body back. I think it may be worse this time around because, again, I know what's coming. Whats more I will soon have 2 babies to take care of meaning even less time to try and get back in shape.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit down about the whole situation and decided to try and do something about it. Once Ian left for work and I changed a disgusting diaper (thank you Ainsley) I popped in my favorite pregnancy workout tape (courtesy of Acacia and Erin O'Brian) and worked away. Ainsley actually did really well. She stayed in the general vicinity of the makeshift play mat I set up for her, "reading" her books and working on her stacking cubes and blocks. About 20 minutes in she got antsy and started mimicking the moves with me. If I wasn't so focused, and sweaty, I would have stopped to take a video. It was pretty darn cute.

(quick aside: speaking of being cute last night when Ian asked Ainsley to say goodnight to me she leaned down right by my face and gave me a voluntary kiss. My heart melted a little bit)

The main issue with this "early" morning workout regime is the exhaustion later on. Uber productive and active mornings tend to equal lazy restless afternoons for me in my current state. This is so hard to deal with especially since I have a to do list a mile long and what feels like mere weeks to get it done in. I've been trying to let myself have some free time and not feel guilty for it (when Ainsley is napping of course) but it's easier said than done.

I've also entered the eat-everything-that's-not-nailed-down phase of pregnancy. I wake up starving in the middle of the night and about 2 hours after eating I need something NOW or I think I might die. It's hard to constantly make good snack choices when one side of me is saying "you're pregnant let it slide" and the other says "think how fat your butt is going to look in a swimsuit this summer". Oh the joys of a huge appetite.

While it may sound like life revolves around my growing body, I mean belly, it really doesn't. I am relishing in the spring weather, yes even in the April showers. Ainsley gets cuter and more animated every day. She said "hat" for the first time the other day which caught me off guard as she wasn't wearing a hat but her blanky that I put on her head. Life gets increasingly easier as we've found a rhythm to our days. I am looking forward to a playdate tomorrow afternoon with good friends and a full weekend of activities. Keeping busy does definitely help me stay positive and productive, if only it weren't so exhausting!

Easter Weekend

Ian's dad came to visit us for the weekend and we had a blast, Ainsley in particular. After the initial "who are you?" look she warmed up quickly. We ate a lot of good food, bought some lawn furniture which we promptly put to use with the nice weather, took walks, played at the park. The only real bummer of the weekend, for me, was Easter Sunday as I got some weird stomach bug Saturday night and was basically out of commission all day. While Ian, Dan, and Ainsley had fun and I eventually made my way out to the backyard where we let Ainsley loose with her Easter basket, it wasn't the day I had pictured. I am looking forward to dying eggs with her next year and doing a proper egg hunt.

Today we are spending the morning waiting around for the repairman for our broken washing machine. The time frame is 8-12 so I won't expect them before lunchtime I guess. What a bummer to wake up all motivated to get things done and then have to be housebound with an antsy toddler on a beautiful sunny day.

Ainsley and I both have doctor's appointments tomorrow. She goes in for her 15 month check up and I for my 16 week appt. I'm looking forward to hearing the baby's heartbeat and curious to see if I've gained weight (last time I'd lost 2 lbs.). I definitely feel bigger. It's getting harder and harder to find pants that fit comfortably. I'm going to have to invest in some maternity capris pretty soon here as all I have are pants or shorts.

I'll post pictures from our weekend soon. I think Ainsley hid my camera somewhere. Happy Easter!

Second Time Around

As this is supposed to be a blog primarily about the joys and trials of motherhood it seems only appropriate that I start pondering the world of pregnancy AGAIN, this time with a toddler in tow.

I will start with backing up a bit.

I always assumed that when the time came to get married and start a family, everything would be such a natural, relatively easy, progression. While marriage, and even my first pregnancy, up until a point, were, becoming a mother has been so much more of a drastic change than I ever expected.

Cue second pregnancy. If I was TRULY honest with myself, I wasn't ready to be pregnant again. The bliss of the first pregnancy, I realize in retrospect of course, is the naiveté. I had no clue what to expect, what was in store for me. The exhaustion, discomfort, loss of bladder control. And then there's the birth. While that lovely mommy amnesia has kicked in a bit about the whole thing I do remember that it was painful and definitely not something I'm looking forward to again, and I even had a quick, uncomplicated birth.

I feel like I've become even more neurotic with this pregnancy. My breasts weren't huge and sore right away like with Ainsley so I of course assumed something was terribly wrong with the baby and my hormones. I feel faint and weak all the time likening this too to something catastrophic when I know in the small sliver of my sane mind, and with Ian's constant gentle reminders, that everything that I'm feeling I felt with Ainsley and she couldn't be more healthy.

On the flip side I think I've loved being pregnant this second time around more so far (I know it's only been 15 weeks). With Ainsley every day seemed like an eternity to check off one more day and then one more week. The first trimester absolutely FLEW by for me this time. While I definitely had my crash days on the weekends and some weekdays around 3pm when Ainsley and momma had lay down play time, I hardly had time to notice how tired and nauseas I felt most days. I have a baby to entertain and whether I feel good or not she needs to be fed and changed and played with and loved. I just chewed lots of gum to help with the gag reflex and went about my day as usual. With my first pregnancy it was both a luxury and a curse to feel every little thing.

I can't believe in a month we get to see our new little baby again and we're just about half way there. I'm feeling the urgency to get the nursery ready and get organized asap because with all of the travelling we're going to try to do this summer coupled with my sheer size housework is going to become increasingly difficult.

Ian and I have been having fun looking at names again. I've been surprised by how many names we've checked off of our original list from the first time around. We're still on the fence about finding out the sex. I'm intrigued by the idea of waiting until the end and hoping it will give me something to focus on in those final hours when last time all I could do was keep my eyes shut and get through it. I'm also excited by the prospect of a gender neutral nursery and newborn clothes. However since neither Ian or I have a strong conviction yet I'm worried one of us is going to cave during the ultrasound. I guess we'll see what happens!

Time to go play with my sweet little love bug. She's being very snuggly this morning.

Florida

Florida was a complete blast. I was prepared for the worst, weather and travel wise, and it couldn't have worked out better. Ainsley was a trooper on the plane, worming her way into the other passengers affections. She of course got squirly but between Ian, myself, and lots of tricks in my bag, she did wonderfully.

The weather was about 75 and sunny every day execpt for one late afternoon and morning of rain which worked in my favor because I got burned so badly the first day. My typically sun loving skin has turned Norweigan or something with this pregnancy, good to know for the summer.

As for activities, there was never a dull moment. Ainsley LOVED everything. The first morning we took her to the beach and she ran screaming into the ocean. Even when the frigid waves bit her toes she charged ahead. The hardest part of the week was trying to dry her off and keep her warm. She suprisingly, ate very little sand but definitely enjoyed rubbing it into her hair. Luckily she also loved the sprayer at the end of the boardwalk to clean herself up. It actually became quite the point of contention to keep her away from that spigot. She loved the pool equally and while parents of more "normal" children were complaining that the pool heater was broken, thus keeping their warm blooded children out of the water there sat Ainsley bounding down the steps of the pool blue lips shivering the whole way. What a character that girl is.

She didn't sleep well the first few nights which was to be expected, however Ian and I could have slept like babies thanks to the ocean breeze and surf pounding on the shore all night. Heaven. Luckily Ainsley's sleep sheep mimics this noise and eventually she got the hang of her temporary bed and was quite the sleeper.

I ate my fair share, as per usual. Favorites are still the fried Grouper sandwich from Gramma Dots, key lime pie, Bubble Room cake, and anything JoAnn makes on the grill. Good thing my pregnant belly hides all those goodies, or does it?

It was wonderful to be with great family and friends again after whats felt like ages. Ainsley so thrives in an active loving environment and try as Ian and I may we just can't compete with a loving group of people stimulating her every moment.

Pops taught her how to say "doctor" as well as any 15 month old can. She sat for books with Grammy and loved to sing and look at plants and birds. I am always amazed that for such an active baby she truly loves to calmly sit and take things in too. She listens when you talk, most of the time, and loves to help out when she is able. She has now learned the sign for tired and lets us know when she wants to go to bed. We communicate more and more everyday and I saw just in this one week how much she has grown.

We have a busy week ahead with lots of visitors and errands to run. I'm thankful to be kept busy but feeling exhausted just thinking about it. That one cup of coffee I'm allowed every day just isn't enough!