Long Nap, No Meat

Ainsley is STILL napping (going on 3 hours now) so I thought I'd take the opportunity to update the blog. Now watch her wake up immediately.

We leave for Florida on Friday! Clearly I am excited because this is all I talk about. I am packed for the most part and after a Target run this afternoon we should be all set. I've always been an early packer and with a baby (and lovely bag restrictions) it's gotten 10 times worse. I've mainly traveled alone with Ainsley since her birth so getting to travel both ways with Ian in tow feels like a luxury. Someone else to hold the baby and the bags? Much too exciting.

She woke up.

Continuing 4 hours later...

This is why I can't write blogs in more than one sitting. I've completely forgotten what my motivation was...read the title, oh yeah!

So, on the pregnancy front not much is new, other than feeling huge for 4 months along and my sudden aversion to meat. I was biting into a roast turkey and havarti sandwich on homemade bread anticipating the deliciousness to abound my senses when instead I had an uncontrollable gag reflex and the urge to urp. Not the reaction I was expecting. Since that moment nearly a week ago I have been unable to touch meat, think about meat, smell meat, and of course, cook meat.

Perhaps this seems normal for a regular pregnant woman. Pregnant women=crazed food aversion/craving ladies right? True, expect when you take into account that with Ainsley I couldn't get enough meat, pork to be precise. I'd explain more but I'm getting nauseas just typing about it. Ugh.

So what to do when the head chef of a 3 person carnivorous household suddenly goes veggie? Turn to my favorite Moosewood cookbook of course. I was actually excited to try out some new recipes this week and made sure Ian agreed to them all beforehand to avoid the inevitable "it's fine" reply when asked how a new dish is.

Tonight we had Cauliflower and Cheese pie with potato crust. It was awesome! Ian had 3 helpings and even picky Ainsley ate a good portion. Also on the menu this week is a Mexican Pepper dish, Eggplant Parmigiana, and Bulgar (sp?) Casserole. The pepper dish is new but the other two we've had before and have passed the test. I have to say it felt great to leave the market today with a cart full of yummy good for us food, lots of veggies, grains, and fresh cheeses. I feel like I always eat best on Mondays when the grocery shopping motivates me. Too bad a pecan caramel dessert is in the oven right now to ruin all that!

In other news, Ainsley got her first hair accessories today! Okay, I bought her her first hair accessories. It started out innocently enough, a headband here, a flower clip there. Before you know it I'd cleaned the shelves of any possible hair option for a slight of hair toddler. Let me tell you, it was all worth it. Her adorable quotient went up like a million percent with that little pink flower pin in her hair. I took pictures but let me tell you they don't do her full justice.

This one's of me and my vain attempt (I wonder where Ainsley gets it?) to get a shot of my new awesome haircut. I don't think I've had my hair cut since last summer. It had pretty much become a rats-nest. Oh the joy of cute short hair again.

Still dolled up while reading with daddy.

This face pretty much says it all.

Half of the cuteness is of course Ainsley in all her 14 month old glory, the other is her love of her new accessory. She was literally preening around the house. Probably my mistake for showing her how she looked in the mirror. Whoops! Guess it's never too early to learn vanity. Every time the clip got loose or she played with it too much and yanked it out she'd run over to me, hold it out, turn her head, and patiently wait for me to place it just so in her hair. The whole thing is just too much. Luckily she let Ian take it out for bedtime. I was a little worried there for a moment.

I am excited for a busy (for us) week this week. Just about 2 commitments a day! I'm thankful or the bustle in hopes of making this week fly by. I can't wait to get some fresh air, vitamin D, and quality family vacation time. If I don't write again before we leave you can rest assure I'll have all the details upon our return, and oodles of pictures.

Happy Monday!

Oh what a blustery day

It's a rainy spring day outside. Ainsley is down for her morning nap. (She now grabs her blanky and pacifier and goes to the stairs with her arms outstretched when she's ready for her nap and then waves goodbye when we put her in her crib. She's getting so big!) I have approximately 1 hour before I'll need to wake her up to head over to our musikgarten class, hurry home for lunch and do a last minute clean up before our playdate at 1. It's so nice to have some fun things on the docket for today.
Yesterday was a beautiful spring day, at least in the afternoon once it stopped raining. Ainsley and I went to the park in her new red wagon and spent the late afternoon hours in the backyard. I raked and pulled weeds, delighted in finding numerous sprouting bulbs of which I have NO clue the origin. I'm hoping for tulips. I really felt like I was in the secret garden. Ainsley on the other hand had a blast running around our, thankfully, fenced in yard exploring under the deck, in the bushes and of course the dirt. She was covered in it by the time Ian got home. She of course managed to eat some and rub a lot in her hair. I don't get wigged out about messes like that because she is clearly having so much fun exploring and investigating different textures and smells.
As an adult I still appreciate sensory experiences. While working at the elementary school my teacher and I used to fight over who got to monitor the kindergarteners in the sensory table. Especially if we had something extra fun like cornstarch and water in there. It's fun getting your hands messy and so relaxing to just play with sand or soft dirt. I am so looking forward to true spring when we can spend hours out back gardening and playing.
While in our yard I was trying to decide what we could do, on a tight budget, to spruce up the space for both Ainsley and Ian and I. I would love to get a little fire pit because I LOVE fires, but the practicality of making a fire eiher with Ainsley around or after she goes to bed seems unrealistic compounded by the fact that I will be huge and pregnant this summer and any extra heat will be unwelcomed makes that seem like a bad option. I know I want to plant a small vegetable garden. I'm thinking of sticking mainly to herbs and a few vegetables, tomatoes, peppers, lettuces, that I use often. We have a great farmers market in Oak Park and I know I won't be able to restrain from going there each week to stock up so I don't want to go overboard. I'd also love to get something to get something for Ainsley to play with/on like a small sandbox or a playhouse. While we have a great park right up the road it's still not the same as having something in your own backyard. To complicate matters I would also like to build anything that we put back there. While neither Ian or I are particularly handy I love to make things plus the look of wood over plastic is always preferable to me. I'm thinking a home made sandbox next to a playhouse with a little table and chairs in it would be just the thing. Home Depot here we come!?

Okay, so I know this is a garden, but it'd work and it looks fairly simple to do, right? Two college graduates (one a PhD candidate) should be able to figure this out.

I'm hoping to plant some perennials around the border of the yard and Ian has his heart set on a small flowering tree. Keep in mind we are talking about an oversized Chicago lot here. Not much space to work with.

I am already seeing that in so many ways this is the perfect first house for Ian and I. We have always wanted an old home with character and charm, but I'm realizing this comes with some definite draw backs and disadvantages. I love our home for right now but must admit I already miss the sprawling backyard of my childhood with the wide open lot right across the street, neighbors more than spitting distance apart and an attached garage. Some day.

Right now I am just excited to get outdoors and extend our living space there. I Can't wait to get a grill and a table and chairs out there. I can just picture myself snoozing on a lawn chair while Ainsley snoozes this summer. It's going to be great! Now just to finish that raking...

Oh, Look at the Time

Yes it is 4:21 am on a Sunday morning. Ainsley and Ian are in blissful dreamland and here I sit finally up after 1.5 hours of restless tossing and turning in bed. The dreaded event has finally happened. I AM NO LONGER ABLE TO SLEEP ON MY STOMACH.

For some women, the worst part of pregnancy may be the nausea, extreme exhaustion, or later issues of discomfort and anticipation, my worst part is this. I am a 100% stomach sleeper. I can ONLY sleep on my stomach. This was the milestone I dreaded hitting the most with Ainsley, yes, even above being able to wear any of my normal pants.

I must say I got through it. I purchased a cheap body pillow from target that helped with side sleeping. And lets face it, towards the end a 6 hour night of sleep was a gift. But this my friends is WAY too early to be up before dawn. I thought I'd give in this morning as Ian is around today to watch Ainsley while I (presumably) nap later.

To make matters more interesting the things on my mind this morning to aid in the not going back to sleep were also completely pregnancy related delirium. I woke with a start at 3:06 paranoid that the cool mist humidifier in Ainsley's room had run out of water, was still running, and was surely about to start a fire. So I crept into her room only to startle her forcing me to do the whole bottle, diaper change routine that we've done so well weaning her off of. Once back in bed I proceeded to attempt to find a comfortable non stomach sleep position while contemplating the merits of getting up to make home made caramel rolls for breakfast. This was a tricky one as I also made my first batch of bread machine bread yesterday and have been salivating over the french toast that it would make ever since. Oh how food has taken over my life, again.

This time around, as far as the food goes, I am trying to live by the advice in my favorite pregnancy book, "make every calorie count". While I gained within the "normal" weight range with Ainsley I was on the outside especially for my short stature and I'm determined to be as healthy as I can with this baby. I never went nuts, well, maybe not never, but I definitely chose convenience and quantity over quality many a time. To aid in this attempt I have tried setting a rule for myself to only make a dessert once a week and once it's gone it's gone. SO hard to do. I have also tried re-focusing on meals (for the first few weeks we did lots of Trader Joe's pre-made meals, I couldn't fathom making dinner). This past week I must say, was a good success in that department. I pulled out a few old favorites (Smothered Chicken and Barley, Baked Bird's in a Nest) and made a few new dishes (Julie's Tarragon Chicken). OK, so a quarter pounder with cheese did sneak in there one night, but I couldn't help that Ainsley got sick and Ian didn't get home until after 6!

I have been watching tivoed (is that a verb?) episodes of Ina Garten's Back to Basics and am excited to make some of her recipes. I am thinking of using some of my birthday money to buy a few cookbooks on amazon. Is Mastering the Art of French Cooking practical at all?

Part of my new obsession with eating right and cooking with only the best ingredients (organic, free range, fair trade) came from a documentary that Ian and I watched Food Inc. If you haven't watched it DO, but only if you are ready to put aside some extra money for food each month because I guarantee it will change you. It is all about the plight of the american farmer, the mistreatment of both the workers and the animals and that every time we buy food we are voting for what we think is right. While the decision to support sustainable food practices is easy in theory, it is not on the pocket book. Luckily places like Costco sell free range organic meats (chicken and beef) in bulk and I've found ways to work a few vegetarian dishes in without Ian getting too antsy for meat. Thanks to places like Trader Joes and the 365 brand buying organic pantry items and shockingly produce and even dairy is very affordable. Sure I buy less food, but I think that's because I'm really savoring the food that I do eat.

A Sample Daily Menu:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with sweet milk, dried blueberries and chopped pecans or walnuts.

Lunch: Trader Joes veggie patch soup with homemade bread, cheese, and jam.

Snack: Organic pink lady apple

Dinner: Grilled wild caught Alaskan salmon, organic rice pilaf, roasted asparagus

Dessert: Sweet Milk chocolate chip cookies

Okay okay, the cookies are a stretch, but they are made with mostly organic ingredients as well and a GREAT alternative to the traditional nestle tollhouse recipe. They taste more like little chocolate chip shortbread bites. SO good.

You would think after getting all of these thoughts out I would be ready to go back to bed. No, I think I'll look up some gender neutral nursery ideas (we're contemplating not finding out the gender of this baby) and Ikea rugs (we still need a hallway runner and a bigger rug for Ainsley's room). So much to do. WAY too little time, but maybe not if I keep getting up at 4:21.

Good Day

So, even though I woke up completely overwhelmed by all that I have to do this weekend I am feeling optimistic and relatively relaxed after a productive morning.

Ainsley was sick again this week hence I got NOTHING done over the past three days. I always thought that when my baby was sick I would actually be able to be more productive as they would be sleeping or lying around all day. This is true however I never knew that it would be on my chest that she would be sleeping ALL day and ALL night. She would not leave my side. Very uncharacteristic for such an independent child. It was nice for the first 12 hours or so to catch up on my favorite shows while lying on the couch with my sleeping baby. I must admit after that it got old. Sucking boogs out of her nose, forcing medicine down her throat, listening to her cough and moan in pain. It was rough. Thankfully she's on the mend today and at least spent a few solid hours in her own crib last night.

In other news I tried on all of my summer clothes this morning, and, drumroll....they ALL fit!!! I was prepared to look like a stuffed sausage in everything as I weighed in 5 pounds heavier than I thought I was at my first prenatal appointment, but I am now chalking that up to water retention, and/or holiday weight as everything fits just like it did last summer. Now how long it will fit is a whole other story, but I'm taking things one day at a time.

For my birthday I revceived two great dresses from my mom that should work all summer long. I am particularly excited about this one...

So cute right? It is an actual maternity dress but I may just wear it all the time regardless. It's so comfy. Summer weddings here I come!

I am also pretty excited about Ian's gift. He gave me a bread maker! I know most women request that their husbands get them things without plugs for their birthdays, but I must be different. I had asked for one a while ago and was impressed to see that he remembered. I am going to make my first loaf today. I have been making bread by hand for a while now and every once and a while I get a good loaf, but mostly I just lose patience kneading or don't let it rise enough and end up with a hard lump of bread like stuff. I am excited to give a try for the first time today!

Here's to hoping the day continues well. There's still lots to do.

P.S. Can anyone walk me through putting pictures up on here? Everytime I try they go right to the top and then I can't move them to where I want in the post or if I can move them they goof up the script. What am I doing wrong? Thanks!

I'm So Excited

I'm pregnant again, if you haven't already read on facebook. It feels so great to have the news out and get all of the great support and congratulations from people. The first few weeks are always such an interesting time filled with joy, anticipation, and a tidge of hesitation. Now that the world knows it feels so much more real, well that and the fact that I couldn't button the top button of my snowpants this past week in Montana.

So far I have felt really good. I can't tell if it's just that this time around I have a 14 month old running around hence WAY less time to sit around thinking about how nauseaus and exhausted I feel or that I actually just feel great. On the weekends I tend to crash pretty hard because Ian is around to watch Ainsley so I take advantage of rest time.

I am getting anxious about getting big again. I feel like I was just getting used to being my old self again and here we go! I am thrilled though. Ian and I have both always wanted a. a big family and b. children close together. We didn't want Ainsley getting too used to the idea that she gets all the attention, she's a girl that would run with that in a big way.

Montana was amazing. I skiied twice (no worries, at the speeds I was going my worst injury would be from a yawn) went for a mountain jog, and went snowshoeing. While there was more snow than Chicago it was BEAUTIFUL. Blue skies, fresh snowcapped mountains, log cabins. I love Montana. I hope to get out there is in the summer sometime to take advantage of hiking and rafting.

Next on the docket is a trip to Sanibel. This will be Ian's first time experiencing the wonder that is southwest Florida. I am already salivating over the fried grouper sandwich at Grandma Dots and the fresh grapefruit and beach jogs in the morning. Now if only I can still fit into some of my summer clothes.

I can't wait to see what the coming months and weeks bring. We have been so blessed and I can only imagine what God has in store for us.

Some Thoughts

Disclaimer: Please don't judge me for the ranting to follow. I'm only human.

So...Ainsley is napping, good girl, and I've had a few things on my mind lately that I need to vent about. True, I should be doing any number or things on my to do list to get ready to leave for Big Sky in two days, but I have my priorities.

I am feeling a bit miffed at the moment. While for the most part I have enjoyed the little blogging that I do and reading other new mom's thoughts, every once in a while I come across something that I have a very strong, and negative reaction to. Here comes the venting.

While pre-Ainsley I was completely opposed to gushing about the wonder of your child I understand now the pride that every parent feels for their child and their whole hearted belief that their child/children are the best, brightest, and most loved. I still hold strongly that these opinions should be mostly kept to oneself because as every parent (hopefully) feels this way about their children it would make sense that sharing this with every other parent would become problematic. I've learned to accept that there are some parents that just can't help but relate every little accomplishment but there is one thing I am VERY sensitive about and don't feel that I tolerate well at all: Ainsley's temperament.

If you haven't met Ainsley let me break it down for you as briefly as I can. Before Ainsley was even born I knew we were going to be dealing with a cantankerous child. After she was born, and I mean immediately, my hunch was confirmed. When I was put on bedrest assured that I would have Ainsley weeks early the midwife checking me each week was amazed that she hadn't come yet saying, "just wait, this one knows exactly when she wants to be born watch out for her! I'm thinking New Years day or Christmas." Lo and behold, Christmas Eve was the day Ainsley chose.

Ainsley has always had a LOUD voice, and let it be heard. The term "sassafrass" came to mind early on. She cried for most of the first six months of her life and while she mellowed considerably once she started being mobile (walking at 9 months) she is still a handful. Don't get me wrong, I would have it no other way. The hardest thing for me to come to terms with though is that I have SO LITTLE control over her temperament.

She is amazing and wonderful but she is who she is and she has been since birth. These mom's with these mellow happy babies claiming that their loving, breast fed only, minimally medicated ways are to thank DRIVE ME NUTS!!! I spent hours making Ainsley homemade organic baby food just to have her spit it out and throw it on the floor. I breast fed her solely for nearly 8 months until I was in tears about the decision to put her on formula because I just couldn't keep up with her needs. I use cloth diapers to be gentle on her cute bum. I stay at home with her all day singing her songs, reading her books, dancing and laughing. She is still a sassafrass. A wonderful, outspoken, zipping around the room exploring sassafrass. The fact that any parent would think that I am to blame for the fact that my child won't sit still for more than 2 seconds or screams when she's upset infuriates me. We all do our best and are given such a gift in each child. To think that you can choose who your child is going to be is absurd in my opinion. You take the wonderful gift that God has given you and you do with it the best that you can, hoping to instill morals, values, a sense of purpose and love in your child.

In short, I love my daughter and would change not one thing about her, but that doesn't mean that I don't hold out hope that God will choose for us next time a child a bit more "low-key"

Whew! That felt good.

And one more thing...PLEASE never tell a parent who's child's birthday is on or near a holiday "poor thing...they are going to have such a rough time". HELLO!!! Anyone who has ever had a baby knows that you have NO control over when your baby comes (if you're having a natural birth). If I hear one more time how awful it is for Ainsley to have her birthday on Christmas Eve I am going to either break down or flip out (same thing?) It is what it is and I can assure you that myself and my wonderful family and friends have and will continue to do everything we can to make her birthday as special as any other child's birthday.

Double Whew.

With that off my chest hopefully I can focus on packing, cleaning, and running last minute errands for Big Sky. I am SO excited to get out of Chicago for a week and breath in some fresh mountain air.

New Shoes

This Saturday marks the near end of a fairly good week. While Ainsley and I didn't make it out as much as I would have liked (thanks sporadic snow storms and blustery winds) the days seemed full and for the most part, happy.

That little girl grows on me more every day. She is so entertaining and loving. While she still won't snuggle for more than 3 seconds, she'll run over and rest her head on my lap or pat my head. I'll take any affection I can get.

She's entering the new phase of bringing me every little thing that she finds and then promptly taking is back with a look that says "why would you take my stuff?"..."uh, because you gave it to me sassy pants." She's quite the kick.

While talking on the phone, "reading" to herself, and climbing EVERYTHING are still her favorites she can now descend the stairs unassisted, "brush" her teeth (she shakes her head rather than move her hand side to side) unzip her clothes and take them off, do the sign for milk and sort a few of the shapes in her shape sorter.

I will show her how to do something once and no matter how difficult it is she will at least attempt to mimic it. She gets REALLY frustrated when she can't do something (Ian's child much?) so problem solving is something we're working on. This week I asked her to bring me a book and she did! She then picked up her own favorite book, turned around, and backed up into my lap. Every day she has her own agenda. When she wants to go out she grabs her coat and puts her hood on to show me she'd like to GO OUT PLEASE! When she's hungry or thirsty she tells me and when she wants to go to sleep she finds the nearest pillow or stuffed animal and burries her face in it. It's hard to believe just months ago she was a little blob unable to communicate. I'm almost glad she's not talking too much yet. I don't know that I could handle it!

I bought Ainsley a new pair of shoes this week after much deliberation. We're going to Florida in a month and she needed some good walking sandals, but of course I wanted them to be cute as well. I found these on zappos and when they arrived and I took them out Ainsley immediately grabbed them, sat down in her stocking feet and held out her new shoes to me so that I could put them on. She hasn't wanted them off since. A girl after my own heart.

So far this weekend has been filled with paying bills, filling out taxes, emailing and making calls to book showings for the apartment, and showing the apartment. I'm ready for a nap already. I hope at some point adult life allows for some fun! Once the apartment is rented, finally! and all of the little house things are taken care of I'm hoping I can relax more. I am so looking forward to going to Montana in a week and Florida in March. I am ready to get out of this gloom and have some fun with family.

Here is a picture of Ainsley's new shoes. Pretty cute huh? I wish they came in my size.