New {School} Year

I just got back from my first field trip chaperone gig of the new school year.  Louise's class went to the River Rendevous in Bloomington today, a gathering of reinactors teaching the children about different jobs and life in the 1800s.

Truthfully I didn't want to go.  As the kids have gotten older I kind of dread chaperoning because the kids don't really need us much and unless my child wants to hang with me I'm left to stand around on my own or make conservation with the other parents with truthfully is NOT my thing.

Today there were 5 of us chaperoning and predictably the other 4 paired off and I was left to my own devices.  One set of moms just met today but were basically the same person, super skinny and trendily dressed, three kids each the exact same ages, they even had the same lunch; quinoa and veggies and hard boiled egg whites.

I often feel out of place as a mom.  I'm not skinny and trendy, I was just as excited to eat the chiabatta caprese sandwich as Louise so I made myself one, simple carbs and all.  I'm not usually interested in striking up polite conversation and become instant BFFs and make plans immediately to hang out and do tibatta workouts together.  It makes vollunteering for school stuff feel even harder sometimes.

Today I did it for Louise.  My sweet just turned 9 year old who still clings to my hip a bit when we're out and about.  Secretly I don't mind.  I know soon enough she's going to want to be on her own, off with friends. This is my window.  I'm holding on. 

The start of school has gone as smoothly as ever.  I can say that now that we are three weeks in.  I am so thankful for Ainsley getting to start the year at her new school.  She was so brave at open house day when she came with us to visit her old school while Louise and Felix met their new teachers.  She's growing up so much and it's wonderful to see the pride she takes in her new school.

Louise and Felix are acclimating well.  Louise is very go with the flow and a rigid rule follower so new routines and teachers and classmates seem easy for her to manage.  Felix is also very go with the flow but is mourning the loss of little kid school with play time and many breaks in a day.  I am mourning that too and thankful for so many neighborhood friends and a pretty open after school schedule so he (and the girls) can get their play time in.

I'm giving myself September to get used to this new school year.  Work has been going smoothly and I am still thankful for that in my life.  I'm struggling to fit it all in already, finding I'm craving lots of down time right now after the busy and loud summer with my children.  I have lists and lists of projects and ideas that I was to see to fruition.  I have so many appointments that I need to make and adult homeowner maintenance things to do. 

For myself this new school year is going to be about finding my new adult self, post having babies and being a 24/7 stay at home parent.  This is a new time of life for me and I find it's too easy to get swept up in the daily hum.  I'm trying to savor the little best bits like Felix wanting group hugs from Ian and I every day and telling me "you're the best mom" and "I love you so much" umprompted, every hour we're togegther.  And like Louise wanting us to tell her a story through her elephant every night like we do with Felix and his puppies and knowing that she's still little enough that she kind of believes her elephant is alive inside.  Like Ainsley and my 2 hours a day that we get to ourselves that is mostly for REAL really good.  How special to have that one on one time when she still wants it with me.  I'm soaking it in.

Ian was gone on a business trip this week which is unusual for him.  The parenting part was hard but fine.  We all missed him a lot.  How lucky that we miss each other when we're not together and that I tear up just thinking about these 4 people I live with every day that make my life completely meaningful  Even if I don't ever finish our quilts or paint that dang painting for above the couch or install the handrawn tiles on the kitchen backsplash I am their mom and Ian's wife and right now that it the fullest and best job that I can think of.

Here's to a new (school) year.  I hope yours is filled with as much thankfulness as mine is.