Little Big Things

Just the other day I thought out loud in my brain, "Felix has never had the stomach flu! Score!'  Last night at approximately 11:40pm my little dude wandered into our room.  "Mama?!" RAPLH! all over our bed.  Run to the bathroom, barf more and more and more and more.  Sorry if this is graphic.  He's my third little person so I truly didn't even blink an eye.  You just do it.

Then I go to throw our sheets and blanket and giant queen quilt in the wash and oh hello sopping wet non drained washing machine in our beautiful perfect new to us house.  Nice to meet you.  Thanks to youtube and a giant ego after 6 years of 100 year old house ownership I was SO SURE I'd nailed the problem to the wall.  One tiny sad non drained load later I gave up, put that we bought a car on black friday so we got a best buy gift card to good use and come Thursday laundry will be done again.  Until then thanks mom for the pick up laundry service while I try to figure out how much drink Felix can handle without instant barf relapse.

This week was feeling super stressful for some reason.  Honestly I'm just still not HERE.  Does that make sense?  This fall has just been insane and now the winter has been harder too.  I really could pinpoint the moment last week that WHAM! I felt at home.  I am such an incredibly good worrier and there is just so much to worry about when you are moving and buying and selling homes and pretty much changing everything about your lives.  There's this hilarious horrible balance between, let yourself worry! be kind to yourself! and STOP IT! you are so lucky, life is amazing.  It's exhausting.

So I've done A LOT of sitting in between my bouts of madness and worry.  Way too much napping on our new red couch and not enough marked productivity.  Yesterday I told Ian about this crazy 2 hour nap I took "Which I didn't even need!!!" and he laughed through his annoyance and it was such a great moment.  I told the kids AGAIN "find someone in life that you can annoy and accepts your annoyance and that laughs at you and with you.  It's really the stuff of life".  

I do this though.  I am such an up and down person I really should have a whole lot of roller coasters named after me (but I totally hate roller coasters so, no thank you).  Right now I'm really up and that feels good.

Yesterday I went to my new favorite store and bought FOUR new paperbacks to read with the girls.  We read every day but longer chapter books are still tricky to find time for so I recommitted and am so excited.  Three chapters into Half Magic sitting by the fire with my girls is a good place to be.

I'm still totally over food and cooking, mostly spending SO MUCH on food.  I actually went to Aldi for the first time in years and while the generic corn chips were "spot on" according to Ian I was underwhelmed and felt a bit like I was grocery shopping in prison.  I am one of those people who will totally pay for a good food shopping experience.  I LOVE our co-op and still burn a bright fierce candle for Trader Joes and just yesterday stepped foot into a brand new Kowalski's that blew my socks off (and has so many options for locally smoked fish I just, I can't even) so that's where it's at for me.  Make it work Becky.  Make it work.

Last night it was local eggs in tomato sauce, toasted fresh baguette, sauteed baby greens with garlic and smoked salmon.  Other rustic delicious meals on the docket: calico beans made from whole dried beans and good bacon, grits with stoneground cornmeal and whole milk and good cheese, flatbreads from homemade dough with roasted winter veggies and whatever free range meat is on sale at the co-op.  I find I much prefer cooking this way.  Going more often and seeing what sounds good.  It almost always works out that I spend less and enjoy more this way.

I can't believe I'm 32 soon.  I actually really like even numbers so I'm hoping it feels more comfortable than 31.  I sure am sinking into this place more every day and am really really thankful for that new washing machine coming on Thursday.  It's the little big things isn't it?  Always the little big things.