Ooh Pick Me! I'm NOT Busy.

It's really quite apropos that the busy trap New York Times article fell into my lap last week.  We were just getting back from our Minnesota trip, I was feeling a bit overstressed about the re-entry, the LONG unplanned stay at home parent summer ahead, Ian's birthday and the fourth of July festivities to boot.

I found myself nodding and silent "amen!"-ing a lot while reading that article.  The author put into words sentiments I've felt for a long time.  Life is too short to be busy.  Why yes Tim Kreider, DUH Tim Kreider, AMEN! Tim Kreider.

I found I clung to his words, feeling like I'd run into a long lost kindred spirit.  I agreed with almost everything he said.  That busy has become a default response to the polite how are you?, that it's really just a boast disguised as a complaint and that when you are indeed so busy, CRAZY busy, congratulations!  You're amazing.

I'll admit I've fallen into this trap myself.  Answering that we're SO busy, even if we really aren't.  It's really ridiculous isn't it?  It made me stop and really think about WHY I do it.  Why we all probably do it sometimes.

Well we do it to feel legitimate right?  To feel like we're working hard and doing something, LOTS of things, worthy with our time.  But we all are right? Or at least all the people I know.  We are raising kids, we are working long hours, we are keeping homes and making memories, sustaining friendships and enriching our lives.  That sounds pretty good to me.

And if nothing else? I don't like being busy.  The busy days are the ones that get past me without much notice. The days where at the end I'm exhausted and can hardly place what we really DID.  I don't aim for busy, I aim for good and fun and full.

This full and fun strategy has especially been tested this summer.  The Summer of No Plans.  You see, we have nothing scheduled for this summer.  And when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING.  Not one swim lesson, one class, one summer camp session, one music class. Nada, zilch, ZERO!  This no plan summer started off as necessity due to Ian's unknown timeline for his PhD defense and our extra tight budget until D day.  But really I've been happy for the excuse to have exactly the summer I wanted with my girls, before the hustle and bustle of fall takes over again.


Because this year my girl will be in four day a week preschool and I've been AGONIZING over whether to sign her up again for an evening music class or a Saturday ballet class.  Not because I don't think she'd love them (of course she would) but because I don't want it all to be too much.  I don't want to be rushing in the evenings to get places, losing our calm Saturday mornings to yet another scheduled activity.  Maybe I'm weird like that, but I really just like a slow and steady pace with my family, and I think it's one we've grown quite accustomed to.  Slow mornings full of coffee, play and pjs, mornings out somewhere having fun, long afternoons naps (thanks goodness the girls both still nap well) and lazy early evenings until daddy comes home, family dinner, and a long walk or sidewalk bike jaunt before early bedtime.


This summer so far?  We've been FAR from busy.  In fact, last week after the 4th we all kind of collapsed.  The heat afforded us the perfect excuse to hunker down and just hang out.  We did very little other than water our sad plants, read our favorite books and play our favorite games.  It was kind of wonderful.  And then this week?  We've been out lots.  Mornings at the pool, our favorite park and the zoo, afternoons zipping around the neighborhood on bikes and baking cake in the kitchen.  It's all really about balance isn't it?  I feel so blessed to be afforded the luxury to do what feels right with my girls, to laze when we want and hop around town when that suits us.  


Yes this No Plan summer is working out quite well for us and I'm proud to say we're not busy at all.