Hump Day Nuggets:: Growing Pains

Recently, I've kind of been fixating.  When Ainsley was Louise's age I was just about to erupt with child.  Now I have another 18 month old and no baby in sight, no one even planned for anytime soon.  

Truthfully?  I'm kind of sad.  Babies are why I got into this business.  Holding and caring for your own personal miracle?  I dare you to find another job description that comes close.  The trouble is when that thrill of newness wears off where are we left?  With little people that's where.

It's been kind of the irony of my parenting journey that when the girls were teeny tiny I wanted them bigger and now I just crave a small bundle.   I used to take Ainsley to parks at 9 months old, starting crafts with her far too young.  While there's something to be said for challenging young minds there's also something to just letting them be.

Who I have right now are two little girls, not babies, not big kids.  One so desperately independent, but quite needy and snuggly all at once.  Another finding her own voice, challenging her bumbly body every minute.  And me?  Well of course I'm growing too.  We are growing all together as a family. The planner in me wants a plan, wants to know what this time next year will look like.  But I can't.  Because right now all I see are Louise's sweet chubby cheeks and Ainsley's big wise eyes.  I'm tired of trying to look ahead because right now they are ridiculous and amazing and I know this time next year I'll be looking back to now and wishing they were here again.

So here's to missing babies.  To knowing I want more, just not yet.  To enjoying my sweet girls and amazing husband right NOW, because they're pretty dang cute/wonderful/perfect as is.

And here's to...

Nuggets!::

The warm front continues here and we're soaking up every moment.  I'm thankful for our upcoming Florida trip this year more than ever because I'm prepared.  New sandals for the girls, fresh sunscreen and warm weather clothes that fit!  For the first time in I don't know how long we've had to unpack our bags BEFORE the trip to prepare for these balmy days.  (Oh but we're still over the moon for our trip!  Sand and swim and sun...YES!!!)

 ::the newest little driver in our house::

 ::buds budding all over::

 ::evening walks, every evening:

(and that's our house right there if I've never shown the front, ah home sweet home)

 ::Ainsley the bikemaster.  This child goes from fairy princess to Tom Boy in 5 seconds flat.  

That is surely one of my favorite things about her::

 ::and who do we have here?  Fairy Princess #2?  Suddenly SO opinionated about her ensembles and fanciness.   Don't worry Louise, there's enough fancy to go around::

 ::Oh, the fanciness::

::this child is DESPERATE to do the monkey bars, sadly I apparently can't do them anymore to show her how it's done.  Thankfully my lanky boy way along to give her some pointers.  Ah the growth our park play unveils, amazing::

 ::backyard picnics, new library books, new favorite sewing books, sun, and two girls happily occupied in their new outdoor haven....oh spring where have you been my whole life? 

or at least all winter!::

 ::a new backyard trick (for while we have a slide and cube and lots of bikes and ride ons the girls still need some direction back there every once in a while!) give your tots a spray bottle full of water, instruct them to clean or feed the plants and let them go.  Ainsley watered for a half hour and now she knows where EVERY plant in our yard is.  Such fun, and a great workout for those little hands::

 ::first park picnic! Relearning how to behave in the sandpit and when that kid in front of you isn't going down the slide fast enough, oh yeah and how to SIT and EAT, but so much fun nontheless::

Nuggets::

 I've never considered myself a vain person.  Still, I've always envied THOSE girls.  The ones who look composed and beautiful always.  At the gym after a hard workout, at the coffee shop at 6am, at the club at closing time.  No fair.  I look horrid at all of those places.  In between sometimes too.  The thing is it never used to bother me.  Never USED to.

Ever since discovering eye wrinkles in the rear view en route to MN a few years back I've been in a mild panic.  I don't mind aging.  Quite frankly I'm glad for a legitimate excuse for my aesthetic flaws.  But suddenly I hate how I look in just about everything, despite being RELATIVELY the same size I was pre baby.  I've started chopping off my own hair because I despise it so much and I'm confident no stylist can help me.  It's frustrating to feel like I look like a hot mess all the time.  

Plus there's that balance, always.  The one between showing my girls how to take care of themselves but not care TOO much.  Apparently the key is finding a balance for myself.  Showering more in the mornings (instead of at night) so I feel good about my curls.  Taking an extra moment to coordinate something even if it's just 2 mornings a week.  Swiping on some mascara to awaken those not tired but looking quite tired eyes.  Sewing has SO helped with this.  New pieces at a low cost that make me feel good? YES PLEASE!

::saw a young mama in Louise's music class sporting this layered demin look 

with hair back and big earrings.  

TOTALLY copied her the next day.  I like it!::

 ::I got these earring for $2 at heartbreaker in MN (and no they haven't turned my ears green yet).  I hardly wore them until this week, now I've hardly taken them off::

::SKIRTS!!!::

 ::the 5 minute skirt from purlsoho with fold over elastic waistband and bias tape hem.  It's a bit wonky as I had to draw the pattern myself, but I love the length and the print and have been wearing it all day.  I've always wanted to be a skirt girl, perhhaps this summer is it!::

::yard sale wrap skirt from Weekend Sewing, all laid out::

 

::I've since sewn french seams to join the panels and am need only attach the goldenrod waistband and hem it.  Can't wait to wear it in Florida (and beyond!)  Ainsley's already envious of it's twirlability::

::Why I'm loving sewing #692.  YESTERDAY while packing for Florida it struck me that I don't have a tote large enough to carry all the things I'll need for the girls from the pool and beach and back each day.  We're talking snacks, diapers, water bottles, toys, sunscreen, hats, cameras, towels...WHEW!  No way hose was that going to fit in any ole bag I had lying around.  So I went to my trusty Weekend Sewing and found this Everything Tote pattern.  2 yards of fabric and an hour or so later I'm halfway there!  Can't wait to lug this around down south (and all summer long!)::

the outside is a kelly green linen and the lining is that beautiful cotton print

So I'm working on being in the now, thankful for today.  Blessed as I can ever imagine I'll be.  Trying not to force it.  Busy busy busy getting read for our trip, errands and packing and last minute sewing.  All the while trying to keep it real.  This IS a vacation afterall.  See you in 2 weeks!!!