Oh, I remember now...

how it feels to be pregnant.

I remember right after Ainsley was born taking a while to adjust to my un-pregnant body. I would feel phantom kicks and it was almost uncomfortable to have SO much room in my lungs. I felt like I was getting too much air! Quickly I got used to being un-pregant again and reveled in getting to hold my baby on the outside.

I've been surprised with this pregnancy how little I remember from my first. "Is this normal? Did I feel this was last time" are common thoughts running through my head. I was not good at keeping any kind of pregnancy journal and now I wish that I had. I think that it would give me piece of mind to look back to 26 weeks with Ainsley and see that it is indeed normal to feel this huge and full and uncomfortable.

The baby has started kicking me HARD, and it HURTS. One arm pounding on my hip and both feet jabbing into my ribs. I still love feeling her move but a bit less intensity would be nice. I have also been feeling lots of braxton hicks which has put me a bit over the edge, especially as I was tagged for an early delivery with Ainsley.

I've heard, and been told, that you just feel more with subsequent pregnancies because you know what you're feeling, but it still makes me worried that my body thinks it's ready to have this baby WAY sooner than I'd like.

My biggest issue has always been my nerves. For those of you who don't have an anxious disposition perhaps you haven't experienced the joys of "mind over matter". When I'm nervous, AND pregnant, bad things happen. I feel worse, therefor thinking there's something wrong with the baby when really I'm just nervous and I wind up being awake all night worrying and then I'm tired the next day which continues the vicious cycle.

I just keep reminding myself that aches and pains and discomfort are all part of having a baby and that this is nothing new or worrisome. It just doesn't feel good.