Quick Trip Recap

We're back! After 22 hours in the car and 10 days away we've made it home safe and sound.

With one more extended trip in sight for the summer I'm happy to have a chunk of time at home. Time to get back into a routine, put our pool passes to good use and enjoy lots of quite family time.

The trip was great as always. This year was extra special as we welcomed a new niece to our family on July 2nd. I was thrilled to be in town while she was born. We were able to visit her hours after her birth.

::Aida Carmen,

the little 6 lb. 7 oz. peanut::

::Louise was enthralled with her new much smaller cousin::

::Ainsley couldn't stop talking about "Aida baby" after we left::

I teared up more than once looking at that sweet little dumpling. I forgot how small they are at first, how fragile and delicate. For the first time since having Louise the thought "I want another one" crossed my mind.

My whole family joined us for the 4th of July Parade in St Anthony Park. It was fun to have the cousins together for the first time waving their flags and cheering for the big trucks, cars, and loud bands.

I'm thankful to have our families so close so we can celebrate together.

Right after the parade we packed up and headed home. The drive went well. The first few hours flew by as the girls and I konked, worn out from the busy trip.

More posts to come on the cabin portion of the trip, birthdays AND the successful transformation of my old cloth diapers (they're working SO well!). Unfortunately I've been fighting a cough/cold bug and am getting next to no sleep at night thanks to my hacking so I'm a bit out of energy for the time being.

I hope everyone had a great 4th!

The Diaper Decision

After careful consideration and LOTS of back and forth we've come to a decision about the diapers. (I know, you've all been on the edge of your seats right?)

After scouring the diapers in a little dawn and rinsing them about a MILLION times, they are still only so so. About half of them still smell a bit and all of the velcro is shot.

I know I am partly to blame. I wasn't as careful with their washing and drying as I should have been a the beginning. While I've always used diaper friendly detergent an errant wipe or two would get in there and ravage the velcro. Plus I've always machine dried them, on low, but still not as good as air drying. If only I knew then what I know now...

So we've decided to buy 6 new diapers, and fix 12 of our 24 diapers. I ordered new liners and velcro kits so in the end we should have 18 working diapers. My thought was that we're going to have more children EVENTUALLY and these diapers have lasted 2.5 years even with merely moderate care...it's their time. Rather than sink a bunch of money into fixing them all I'd rather use some of that money to get a few new ones and make the ones we have work as best we can.

Truth be told I'm pretty pumped for new diapers, thrilled actually. If you'd told me 5 years ago that I'd be salivating over new cloth diapers I would have laughed in your face. Oh how motherhood changes us.

Facelift

When I was little I could often be found on a rainy weekend day holed up in my room rearragning furniture. I'm not talking moving a lamp to a new location or dusting off my doll collection to put on a new shelf. I'm talking all out lug-the-beg-into-the-hallway-so-I-can-push-the-dresser-to-the-other-side-0f-the-room rearranging.

In retrospect I'm surpised and thankful that my parents let me do it. They clearly knew what was going on. I'm sure they could hear the grunts and scrapes from below. I lived in my childhood room for a good 10 years and I'll bet I rearranged that room at least every 6 months, everytime something new.

I remember how thrilling it was to go to bed in a new environment, how fresh and rejuvinating it felt. It was always just the thing I needed to clear cobwebs, get some energy out and refocus. My room would become my haven again as a I looked at it from a new angle.

Today I rekindled that thrill.

While the girls naps breifly overlapped this afternoon I took it upon myself to move some things around. It started innocently enough. Now that Auntie Sonya is happily hunkered down in her new digs I decided to reclaim the basement as the playroom. I moved all of the girls' big toys downstairs. No big deal.

But then the sunroom looked so empty and the overflowing shelves and baskets of little teeny mistmatched toys were egging me on. "Clean me, organize me...please please PLEASE!" So I obliged.

But in order to clean thoroughly I had to move furniture right? So I moved the couch. Gross. I vaccuumed and scrubbed. Then came the coffee table, the entrance table, and that lovable cumbersome chair-and-a-half. "Why don't you just rearrange a few thing, you know, while your're at it" a little voice teased. "Well, maybe just a FEW things".

So I rearranged. Nothing as drastic as my past rearragning antics may indicate, but enough. I feel completely rejuvinated in our home. Sitting here at my computer from my new vantage point I feel refreshed and excited about our space again. The living room has been reclaimed as cute-baby-toys-and-mostly-nice-adult-stuff and we have more space to play and lounge as a family.

I fear I have opened pandora's box. What room will be next?

::reclaimed playroom::

::yes that is a balloon, one of the best toddler toys EVER, well, until it pops::

::how I love a good reading nook::

Dumpster Diving and Other Classy Moves

One of my favorite things about Oak Park are the alleys. Correction, the stuff people leave in the alleys.

When we first moved here I was a bit weary of all the dumpster diving that I heard went on. Gross right? But then I started walking around, saw the AMAZING things that people threw away, and quickly changed my mind.

Since Oak Park charges for removal of any extraneous stuff that won't fit in your cans a lot of people just leave things out in the alleys in the hopes that someone will come pick it up, sparing them the money it would take to get it removed. I did this a while back when I cleaned out our garage. A lawn mower, vacuum cleaner and sled/saucer thingy were promptly taken off of our hands by fellow dumpster divers. I've learned to love this system.

Even with all the walking and perusing of trash that I've done I had yet to take anything home. I'm a big browser but comitting to lugging something home is a whole different ball game.

It all started a few months back when our amazing neighbors rescued a wooden upholstered childrens rocking chair for Ainsley. They washed the slipcover and delivered it to our back door "I can't believe someone was just going to throw this away! It's in perfect condition!" Ainsley was elated to have her own rocking chair. It especially came in handy when Louise was born and we could rock our babies in tandem. It now sits in her bedroom and every night without fail we hear the rhythmic thump thump of her rocking one of her dollies to sleep.

The treasure hunt continued on a brief post dinner lets get all the jitters out walk with Ainsley when we stumbled across a true gem. A Step 2 Snuggle Bug car just begging to have life breathed back into it. We kept walking home without it as I was unsure how to get it home with Ainsley in tow (it needed a major spray down before I'd let her ride it). I thought about the car all night and by the next morning was near panicked that it would be gone. Thankfully it wasn't and a quick sojourn with the girls and my good friend Nadine resulted in the addition of the Snuggle Bug to our backyard mayhem of toys. Ainsley LOVES it!

On that same day I noticed that out back alley neighbors had placed a table top easel out by their garbage. I debated snatching it, it too needed a good cleaning and upon further inspection one of the legs is a bit broken, but it stands well and who can beat a free chalkboard easel? Ainsley got right to work making "a blue rectangle mama" followed by "a yellow circle, just for fun".

::the loot::

Being a bargain shopper by nature finding all this free stuff is almost TOO exciting. It makes it hard to ever pay full price for anything because I KNOW someone somewhere is just dying to give it away for free, or at least in Oak Park they are!

Cry Baby

I have been crying a lot lately (and no I'm not pregnant!)

This is nothing all too new. The women (and some men) on my mom's side of the family have what we like to call "the crying gene". We tear up when saying goodbye to loved ones, at a sappy movie, for SURE during that new pampers commercial, when we spill something...really all the time.

But it's been more than usual lately and I still can't quite put my finger on it, or couldn't I should say.

It really started right before I left for my sister's destination bachelorette party. I had been SO excited and then about three days before leaving, near panic set in. It wasn't that I didn't trust Ian to handle the girls alone for three full days (and nights). It certainly wasn't that I wasn't looking forward to the weekend of raucous fun. I was just going to miss them so terribly. I have never been away from them for that long EVER. I was worried.

So I got preemptively sentimental. I hugged them longer and held them closer. Then I woke up bright and early on Friday morning and without another thought boarded the plane to Boston.

::the one photo I got of the "landscape" in Provincetown,

my one major regret, this town was BEAUTIFUL, I wish I'd taken more photos::

It was an uneventful flight thank goodness. I met up with my sister Jenny at the airport and we were picked up by two of Julie's grad school friends. They were all decked out in their cute beach clothes, rocking out to the Ke$ha Pandora station the whole way to the Cape. What a delightful departure from my everyday. It became a joke of the trip that I knew so few of the songs playing while we were out and about. I'd shout "I know this one!" if I knew the song and everyone would applaud. Oh the hilarity and seclusion that is my life.

Once in Provincetown we settled into the adorable house Julie's party planner and maid of honor extraordinarre had booked for us. Cars full of Julie's high school, college, and grad school friends slowly rolled in, and then the guest of honor. I was so happy to be a part of it all.

The games and adult beverages rolled freely. While I'd never met most of her college and grad school freinds they quickly felt like my own. Julie has some amazing friends.

The weekend was full of good food and fun, rompers and cute sundresses despite the rain and cool temps, and lots and lots of fun memories.

::the blushing bride to be::

The actually party itself was great. If you want a good time, Provincetown, MA is definitely a safe bet.

::at the Tea Party at 5pm, definitely the highlight of the party night::

::back to the house for BBQ and games::

::at the A House to round out the night::

::festive beer coozies::

All alcohol consumption aside, it was nice to just get out by myself and be free for a weekend. I slept in until 9, went to bed super late, sat in once place for much longer than 3 minutes, talked to other adults without interruption. I'm so glad I got to be a part of this amazing weekend.

Thanks Julie and Sim for getting married so that I could go to your bachelorette party!

Now back to this crying thing...

So I got home from the great weekend, a few hours later than intended thanks to some weather delays, and was truly refreshed. I woke up later that night to a feverish Louise and house that needed a little TLC and was ready to go.

The next few days I was in survival mode. Tapping into the extra sleep I'd gotten over the weekend to care for my sick baby and attention seeking toddler. It was rough but I was glad to be home.

But the tears returned. When rocking Louise to sleep, when stroking Ainsley's hair in the morning, when reading a sweet book out loud to them. I feel like I'm welling up every 5 minutes.

::Ainsley's new favorite snack, "popsicles!"

please don't tell her they're actually frozen homemade smoothies::

What I've discovered is that these are not sad tears but those tears of release that we all have. Tears that speak for us when words can't.

I am so overcome by these two little dumplings in my life. I was emotional to leave them and am emotional to have them.

I cry because they're growing up. Louise is full blown crawling and will never be a little baby anymore. It's been years since Ainsley's been a baby and that sometimes when she looks at me I swear I see a little lady staring back.

I cry because I can't have it all. Because I miss my friends and late nights and how things used to be. Because my job is hard and most days when I want a break it's not there for me and I need to power ahead. Because at the end of the day I'm always glad that I'm where I am with these people I love so dearly. But dang, I wish I could have it all.

I cry because I can't stop time when I want it to stop. Because I missed Louise's first crawling steps while in P-town. Because when I talked to Ian and he told me she missed me I couldn't just crawl through the phone and give her the love she needed. Because my girls are perfect where they are right now and I'm simultaneously terrified and elated to see who they will become.

So I guess I just needed a little release. It's been a whirlwind lately and my body just knows Ineed it.

Today I am thankful for my amazing sister and her great friends and the time of my life that I had at her party, for my ever changing ever amazing girls, and for my husband who told me tonight that I have nice shoulders. I've never heard that one before Ian, thanks, I might just go cry about it, because apparently that's what I do now.

Happy Monday!

Diaper Dilemma

Sooo. My wonderful amazing so easy to use cloth diapers are dying. They made it through 1.5 kids and served us well but they don't absorb well anymore and 3/4 of the velcro has stopped working. Needless to say I'm bummed.

Now the question is where to go from here. I could buy a whole new round of the ones we love but that would be quite the chunk of change AND I'm worried about Louise fitting into them through potty training. I could buy new liners and velcro for the ones we have and try to repair them, but honestly I'm not a meticulous sewer and I worry about the integrity of my repair job. I could also opt to try a new method and go with prefolds and few nice new covers but I'm a bit weary to shirk the great system we have in place.

I really want to keep using cloth. Suggestions please!

The Good Stuff

I fee like so often I fixate on the hard stuff with Ainsley. Tonight I need to mention a little bit of good.

This evening I had to go to Target to return a bunch of stuff that I didn't end up needing for Julie's bachelorette party (rompers galore!). I opted to take Ainsley even thought she seemed a bit off after bathtime. We had an hour before bed and the kiddo LOVES the car and singing so we went.

I rolled down the windows. We blasted the oldies station and clapped at stoplights. Once at the store she picked out the cart and patiently waited our turn in the return line. While there we heard numerous little ones losing it. It was late-ish. Fast approaching tiny babes' bed time. While one tantruming tot was carted off by a frustrated dad Ainsley turned to me and calmly stated "she sad mama. The baby is tired. She needs her mama and a nap." Then we heard another baby crying inconsolably. "oh mama, so many tired babies." Then she turned back to the counter and we counted how many carts were lined up, how many people were working, what color they were wearing "red mama! I like red!"

After our quick exchange with the overworked employee we meandered a bit. I tried on EVERY brazierre I could find that I thought would help my post nursing physique. No dice. But Ainsley let me do it. She twirled in front of the mirror and commented on her favorite designs and colors in my selection. We talked about what we were going to do when we got home "read a book mama, umm, I think I want the train one, no the baby one, I like them all mama!", what our favorite parts of the day were "playing with my friend Emma mama, swinging in the swing...ohh, I rode my bike mama and get the pool passes!"

Then we came home. Played a bit longer per Ainsley's polite request. Read books whilst she nestled on my chest and snuggled while I sang songs. She calmly went down smiling and happy.

There are so many amazing things about my girl and as hard as she can be that hard stuff makes her great. We can talk and sit and laugh and have a real thing, just us two. I love it.

I'm a lucky mama.