Counting Summer Days

I'm struggling to find the right words lately.  In some ways it feels like the sky is falling.  The outside world feels really scary to me right now.  I worry a lot about big future things, for my children and for us.  It's juxtaposed with how amazing our family life is right now in our new home. It feels off and funny but mostly really good.  

Our big camping girl

At picture of me at Ainsley's age!!!

Minnehaha Dam, fishing picnic night 

(minus Ainsley who was at her camp overnight for the week)

Ian's chocolate camera from father's Day

dance recital hair

End of the year school parties

this picture looks like the ones I used to take of the kids by our back kitchen door in Oak Park! It made me all sentimental

Aida's Dance Recital

biggest strawberry haul of the season (now they're all done for the season! It was fast and furious and I'm looking for how to care for the plants after the harvest!)

the vegetable garden!!! (so many exclamation points for the gardens)

Wednesday night church with bouncy house

My two day time buddies

nothing like independent artists who set up a finger painting station while I'm gardening

My view from the kitchen sink, kids playing in the pool on a bright sunny day

Charlie Brown church drama camp (that's Ainsley standing up on the green box in the middle)

perennial flowers, I'm loving the color combinations

the last three strawberries overlapped with the first three raspberries, we're now up to a handful a day and I'm hoping our first big pick comes soon!

Life is moving pretty seamlessly from the end of school to the summer.  We were so busy those last weeks, it's feeling good to slow down!

The girls' dance recital was wonderful.  I surely had as much fun (more I think!) than them.  It was so magical to be back at the same auditorium that I used to dance at each spring.  The girls were in awe of the big girls who were in so many numbers, and all those beautiful costumes! (and the SHOCK that mommy used to dance in 5 numbers each year too...really????!!! Even Ian was requesting I show them "my moves"...haha!) Oh my.  They both are excited for next year (tap, jazz, ballet, hip hop...the choices!!!).  I'm excited too.

Louise's Tball season ended last Sunday on a 90+ degree day with a 1pm game and park picnic.  It was a fun season.  I'm glad Ian got some good photos of us together coaching and playing.  I was overwhelmed at times with the responsibility but it was good for me and good for Louise and I together.  Though I won't miss lugging that bat bag and tee and ball bucket around!

These first summer days are so easily filled.  Ainsley's three camp weeks are keeping her very busy.  Last week's drama camp at church was the perfect intro to summer.  She went every morning with a bounce and a smile and their performance on Friday afternoon was so fun.  Our church has been such an incredible place for us all to help grow and feel at home here.  I'm glad it's that for my kids too!

Last week Ainsley started her summer day camp.  She was more nervous than I thought she'd be but left me happily for her counselor "Meeko" (they all have nicknames) who's from Ireland!  Thursday she did her first overnight.  When I picked her up the next day at 4 she squeezed my face enthusiastically and said "THAT WAS THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!" She is having the time of her life.  Swimming, kayaking, fishing, crafting, fairy house making, hiking, sport playing, singing.  It's pretty much perfect!

I'm loving my alone time with Louise and Felix. The vibe is so different with those two. They We try to get errands out of the way quickly so we have lots of time to play.  We've loved exploring new parks, spending lots of time in our yard and gardens and new blow up pool.  It's such a special time for us all.

I find, as usual, I'm struggling to get into the new routine of the summer season. It's so hard for me to motivate to get everything done that I'd like and to balance the needs of the kids and the house and me.  

If I had a few days to myself I'd run every morning and knock our all of the sewing projects on my list.  I'd finish my book I'm reading and delve into a few more.  I'd watch the rest of the Orange is the New Black and Grace and Frankie while finally finishing knitting my socks I started a few weeks ago.  

At the same time I'd love a good chunk of one on one time with each child.  Ainsley, to sew with her and make a new fairy house with her and finally finish Little Princess with her.  Louise, to teach her to embroider and finger knit and hand sew better like she wants, help her read and write more.  Felix, to teach him more letters and numbers and play soccer with tball with him and bake things and read tons and tons of books.  It's so hard when they are all at different places.  They overlap some of course, but in any given activity I'm doing three different levels and it's exhausting and hard.

So! I'm just taking a moment each morning to think it through.  What can I do today?  What's realistic and fun and sets us up for success.  Yesterday it was making the girls reading charts, and cooking dinner with Louise, and motivating to go to the summer festival despite inclement weather, and buying mini donuts when we had to leave because the weather was moving in and watching the amazing pioneer show with everyone in the cool basement.  Today I think it's fishing for Ainsley and Ian before church, church for us all, and an afternoon filled with the pool outside, reading on picnic blankets, collecting items for fairy houses, dinner with family, and maybe a bit of evening sewing. (Ian and I have vowed to wait for the new season of GOT before we watch the season finale...those last two episodes were way too satisfying to ruin!)

This next week has so much potential.  It's my last with just Louise and Felix while Ainsley is at camp again. Then it's a week+ at the cabin, followed by another long weekend at the cabin close after, followed by vacation bible school, followed by a long hot August all together.  Summer always goes so fast.  I'm trying to make each day count!

Preparing for Summer

Each year so far in my parenting career summer has meant something different. How different each year looks from the last.  I remember last year finally able to give in to the unknown a bit, dive into plans.  It was such a wonderful summer.  This year I find myself hopeful but flurried.  Even after a short two day weekend the kids are at each other's throats and the house is a mess. How will three long months all together in this space look?  I'm not sure, but I'm hopeful.

perennial/herb garden!!!

compost pile!!!

raspberries up the whazoo

strawberries too

Felix's first people

transplanting raspberries for turtle lake

Louise is suddenly looking like a young (beautiful!) lady

my pal Rory

Last Wednesday was Felix's last day of preschool.  I almost felt panicked that morning.  "What should I do with my last morning of freedom for three months?!"  Then it thunderstormed and I laughed because all I really wanted was one last run sans jogging stroller or bikers by my side.  Oh well!

I cleaned the house and went to the thrift store instead, realizing there really ins't a bad way to spend your last morning of freedom for three months.  Then I sat with my little guy, feeling really happy and thankful for the time we have together ahead.

This year I'm gearing up for summer a bit differently.  I don't have to worry about as many what ifs and whens as I used to.  The months ahead feel solid and reassuring.

Still I fear the juggle. I want us all to be happy and have fun and I find as they grow and interests change and solidify it can be hard to give us all what we want all the time (duh I know).  BUT! I want to us all to get at least SOME of what we want in everyday. And even that is proving hard.

Now I have one week of Felix summer under my belt and I feel good.  We had such a wonderful Memorial day weekend at the cabin. We spent so much time fishing outdoors, the drizzly rain haven't little effect. We had fires going all day and it was such a wonderful start to the season. I can hardly believe I have so much cabin time left.

One of Ainsley's great in school notes to her teacher,she apparently does this often and her 25 year veteran teacher has never seen the likes of it before...that's our girl!

Felixn's new bed!/room.  So fun to get it all in order.

Friday night, "I have no plan" pantry dinner. Tuna Patties (DELICIOUS!) TJ's cornbread (always a hit), and green bean casserole (duh!)

My girls at their first Deanne's Dance Recital!!!! I couldn't be more excited if I tried.  (And Ainsley has already proclaimed she wants to take ALL the classes next year (4???!!!!! tap, jazz, ballet, hip hop) I've created little dancing monsters!!!)

peonies from bouqs from Jooj

New artwork from the S.A.P. art fair (that's felted wool and hand sewing and buttons...blowing my mind)

AND a new berry bowl and the second harvest from our strawberry patch (and the sister art piece, all so yum)

new fabric for living room valances

our first piece of big adult art, One Oak Many Nuts, a hand painted print by an Oak Park artist, bringing some of home....home.

This next week is insane.  I'm totally against BUSY but somehow we are.  I am so looking forward to Friday morning. Ian with a Flex holiday off of work, the girls don't with school, Dance and piano recitals behind us.  It's going to feel so good. Enjoy the ride right?

Happy Almost summer to you all!

Fancy Food

I was processing some big revelations this past week. One, of course, involves food.
Food is such a big part of life, when you're the buyer and maker of food for you family of 5 it takes up quite a bit of my brain space.

I'm still working on finding my food groove here in our new home. I wanted so badly to like our local Trader Joe's as much as my old one, but I don't.  The products may be the same but the vibe is not at all.  Every time I went in it made me miss my Oak Park store so much.  Time to revamp.

I LOVE our local co-op and the brand new Kowalsi's in Exclesior, pretty much equally.  The people are so friendly and the food is amazing, plus the co-op is 2 miles away and the Kowalski's is a perfect jaunt from Felix's preschool (and they have tiny carts!).
Trouble is these places are both a bit more expensive than the Trader Joe's prices. Though! It is possible not to spend an arm and a leg and I love a good food budget challenge.

This week I really buckled down.  Rather than fight the fact that we love take out most weekends and last minute shopping to grab what we crave I decided to split the weekly budget in half. Half for weekday groceries and essentials, half for weekend indulgences.  So far so good!

I find sticking to my plan is key, as is shopping the sales.  There are always sales in produce at both of my new favorite stores, and deli meat sales at Kowalskis (my kids can eat over 2 pounds of lunch meat a week if I let them.  Sales are important!)  I also REALLY try to not buy anything I could make for less (except bread!)  I get one bag of chips a week for Ian and the kids, and a box of crackers and dried fruit for the kids for snacks. They usually prefer fresh fruit anyways. I always have a full baking pantry for cookies or bars or muffins etc. as we want them.  It can be really hard to not overindulge in baked goods though. So delicious.
I also love the bulk bins at our co-op. The oatmeal is dirt cheap, as are most grains.  I love that if I'm really trying to stretch the budget I can buy just what I need for a meal. A cup of lentils, 2 cups of rice.   Bulk bins are my friends.

This week I spent $72 at Kowalski's for the weekday stock up.  Free range eggs, grassfed beef bologna, teriyaki sliced chicken, locally smoked salmon, lots of fruits and veggies, good dairy, sparkling water (always!).
I then spent $10 on two delicious loaves of bead at Great Harvest (I will forever miss my $2.20 loaves at Oak Park Bakery, but Light Wheat and Spinach and Feta loaves from GH are an acceptable substitute)

This week for weeknight dinners we're eating...

GH bread and leftover frozen chili from the co-op
Indian Daal with Naan (recipe from Family Cooks, refrigerator lentils spruced up Indian style with enough lentils left over for another meal next week)
Chicken Adobo with rice and cole slaw
Chicken Tacos
Crepes with smoked salmon and creamed spinach

Granted a lot of the food we are eating I already had either in the pantry or freezer, but I'm banking on willpower to stay on track this weekend to give me a bit more for next week to restock on meat and pantry items (or, thinking about going to back to one big Costco run a month to stock up, the costco situation is like the trader joe's situation though...once you've shopped at a brand new mostly empty pristine friendly Costco it's hard to go back)

This weekend I'm hoping the weather holds for grilling, pizza is always fun too. I like having some freedom and $ to exert that food freedom.

Yay food!!!

Almost Summer

One thing that marked our lives in Oak Park, or my life with my little children at home, were many many rain walks.  It didn't always feel easy for me to get out with them. I didn't feel comfortable letting them out alone to play and especially during those long rainy spells it got hard. So we'd find boots and jackets and half working umbrellas and make our way out.  Sometimes it was enough just to walk around the block. Up that cul de sac and back.  We nearly always went down the alley at least once (the best puddles were there!)
It's funny the things I find I'm missing. Simple city walk rain walks are one of them.

On one particular walk we ran into a neighbor gardening.  It was nearly pouring and there she was, humming away planting annuals in her small front flower bed.  The girls were fascinated, me too. I would never think to garden in the rain.  "Aren't you getting wet?" The girls asked.  "Aren't you cold?" "Isn't the mud so slimy?"  "Why yes!" She replied. "And it's absolutely my favorite thing to do".

We're on our third day of rain here.  Three days of rain AFTER two days of all family stomach flu.  It's felt like a very long indoor haul for me.  Today finally everyone will be back at school and I can get out on my own.  I so treasure this little bit of time in a day to move at my own pace.  I'm looking forward to it.

Right now my gears are turning big time.  School ends soon and there is much to be done.  I am desperate to get my vegetable garden set up.  I calm a bit when I realize I can save some of the seeds I'd hoped to plant earlier and buy some starts instead.  It's just our first year here with this. There is time!


I am also so antsy for making and settling further into our house.  Bit by bit spaces are feeling more finished and more systems are in place.  Our Oak Park home may have been small but it was so efficient.  I miss knowing where every single thing is and having everything have it's place.

I'm diving back into sewing, making that seasonal switch from knitting.  I am loving it.  I received a new children's sewing book from my mom for my birthday and pretty much want to make everything in it. The girls have each picked a new dress and I've ordered new fabric for those and new shorts for Felix (green Octopi!). Now Ainsley has fallen in love with every dress in this new favorite book so it looks like lots of kids sewing on the docket. I love it. I'll sew for them as long as they want me to! (And after one motivated post sickness afternoon I made them each something new already so it at least feels possible!)

I've also ordered fabric for dining room valences and that new quilt for Ian and I modeled loosely (I hope!) after this Anthropologie quilt I fell in love with.  I'm going with a navy/blue and white theme and crossing my fingers I chose fabrics right.  I can't wait for that bundle to arrive!

Now that my own making is feeling a bit more underway I'm looking ahead to summer with my girls and Felix home all day and how that will look too.  Last weekend (before the evil stomach bug on Mother's Day) we had a delightful Saturday highlighted for me by a morning at the Arboretum and Lake Minnetonka picnic lunch with Ian's parents and an afternoon at Ainsley's new camp open house.

I didn't go to camp growing up but in looking at summer activities for her this jumped out at us and she's pleased as punch.  The camp looks straight out of the Haley Mills Parent Trap.  She'll be going for two weeks at the end of June, full days, one overnight each week. They'll swim and craft and do sports and archery and other classic campy things. I am so excited for my girl and so happy it's full steam ahead.

So! for three weeks in June it will just be Louise and Felix and I (as Ainsley is also doing a church drama camp for one week!) and I'm really excited for time with those two. Ainsley's camp is right over by the arboretum so that will be fun to explore, and I'm hoping to find our perfect beach too. There are so many on the lake here and I've forgotten so much since childhood I'm realizing. I'm hoping for active mornings and calm afternoons at home, gardening, playing in the yard, cooking, crafting.

Just a few short weeks until summer break. I can't wait!