Party Hardy

Louise is one (if you haven't heard). It's been a wonderfully full weekend of celebration and remembrance.

In typical last-minute-becky fashion I was late in forming birthday plans. Coming off of two weeks away and a moderate wedding hangover didn't help any. After a few days of too much stressing and agonizing I revamped (a stressed out mama must have skill) and the festivities couldn't have gone smoother.

We started THE day like a little Christmas Eve. Magical simple decorations greeted Louise's early morning as did generous gifts stacked and waiting. We sipped coffee as Ainsley "helped" rip open colorful packages and she and Louise played the morning away with new toys, books, and clothes.

::Ainsley's gift to Louise, her very own baby::

::our "big" gift to Louise::

::mama and my birthday girl::

::what a dumpling my dumpling is::

Ian had to work extra hard that day so I was on my own with the girls, in usual Friday style. I dressed them in matching Grammy originals, donned a fancy blouse and skirt myself and we sojourned up town for breakast. We noshed on mickey mouse pancakes, sausage, and spinach and feta omlette. All the while customers and waiters ooed and ahhed over my pretty girls. It felt pretty good to claim them as mine. They did so well that I have have to indulge breakfast out more often.

The rest of THE morning was filled with a park date and picnic with friends.

::Louise loved cruising around the splash pad, clearly::

::mandatory 1 year old nakey except for diaper pics::

A busy morning induced sound long naps and Auntie Sonya's arrival that evening brought on a quiet family dinner and cake fun. Louise swiped daintily at her pink lady cake (essentially strawberry white cake with cream cheese frosting) merely dimpling the surface with her fingertips. Ainsley on the other hand ate her weight in cream cheese frosting, and we all enjoyed the calm low key night.

::Louise's little smash cake::

::and the big cake::

Saturday found our street bustling. The annual block party underway and a fun run-into-old-friends-and-chat-forever-in-the-baking-sun farmer's market trip filled the morning easily. Oh how I've missed the farmer's market in all of it's plush end of the summer harvest beginning of early apple season glory. Ainsley loved playing outside with neighbor friends, looking so small and confident in the huge jumpy house. Louise crawled and smiled and cruised, ate hot dogs and watermelon with the best of them, and both girls crashed appropriately that afternoon.

Louise's "real" party commenced in the evening. The guest attendance about half of the invitees thanks to my last minuteness (whoops!) but oh so fun in spite. The kids had a blast playing together and the adults chatted away the warm evening. We sang happy birthday to a beaming Louise and watched her stuff her spice cake cupcake in her face (perhaps she has a more discerning palette than I thought? the spice cake was my favorite too). We thanked friends for generous time and gifts, they for food and fun.

After much needed baths and last present opening soon to be parent friends joined us to punctuate the night.

::all dolled up for her party::

::party aftermath, I of course didn't get a shot of it all put together the day of::

Right now it feels like life is coming together. We are in a moment of comfort and ease here now. Life is full with activity and good people and friends and I am happy to be here in our home celebrating a wonderful first year of life.

Today I'm letting the dishes sit, cooking as little as possible and lounging as much as the same. The warm, bright sun, cool breeze end of summer day is just begging for a stroll, or a snooze, or both. I can't wait to indulge her.

One Whole Year

A year ago today you were born and I was a mama for the second time. Your birth was easy and quick and calm, with only daddy and the midwife in the room to welcome you to this beautiful world. I cradled you and loved on you until you were taken from me just hours after your birth to heal your sick little lungs.

A year ago today I was pacing the hallways of our local hospital, gathering the courage to enter the nursery as the strong calm mother I wanted to be, not the broken hurting mama that I truly felt.

A year ago today I was worried and anxious. Desperate for answers and to get our new little one home.

A year ago today I was joyful that you were here ultimately healthy and strong after so much worry, calm and resilient.

A year ago today we brought you home and welcomed you into our family. You snoozed the days away, smiling in your sleep, gently waking up to the world.

A year ago today you were the easiest baby we could have hoped for. Only fussing when you really needed something, patiently waiting while we adjusted our lives for the needs of two.

A year ago today you were loved every minute and every minute since, you sweet easy calm baby you.

9 months ago today I was getting in the groove. So thankful for my sweet sleepy baby with your calm smiles and gentle needs.

9 months ago today we were giggling and laughing all together as a family of four, never caring to remember what it was like when it was just us three, because four felt so perfectly wonderful.

9 months ago today my girl was emerging from your newborn cocoon. Every second I knew you and loved you better.

6 months ago today we were travelling. Enjoying family vacations all together and learning what a flexible happy camper you are. Sitting up straight smashing sand in your face, you loved every minute.

6 months ago today we were in the dregs of winter. Snuggled up close we took long walks in the cold and rolled in the snow.

6 months ago you were dubbed YaWeez by your adoring big sister. She loved on you and played with you and you welcomed her advances with giggles and joy and a ton of adoration right back.

6 months ago today we tried out new foods, rolled and rolled to play with toys, but mostly sat up happily taking the world in and smiling all the while.

6 months ago today we were I'm-in-big-trouble in love.

3 months ago today we were relishing in spring. Crawling in the dirt, taking wagon rides galore and swinging swinging swinging the days away.

3 months ago you were cutting teeth and you fussed for the first time (for real). You needed extra snuggles and love and I easily and happily obliged.

3 months ago today you were babbling and screeching, signing and cooing. We started to really communicate with you and hear your loud and happy voice.

3 months ago today I had a weekend alone with you, quiet and snuggly and slow. We talked and played and walked and bathed and it was a time I will always treasure with you.

3 months ago today you were growing and growing, ever smiling and happy and sweet my precious Louise.

Today you are one. One whole year old. How can this be? You feel too new to be one, but have always been in my heart, so I guess it must be so.

I knew you before you were born and now that you are here so many things make sense. I feel whole and happy in each moment with you.

I feel so blessed to be your mama, to get to watch you grow and learn. To give you snuggles when you need them and freedom when it calls you. I can't wait for the next year, and I can, all at the same time. Because you are perfect right now in this moment, but I know you'll be perfect then too.

I love you more than you'll ever know my sweet Louise. Happy First Birthday!

Tids 'n Bits

A few notes from the past few days...

I made the best, easiest, PRETTIEST (hence the 3 photos following of it in all it's glory) homemade bread.

I've been searching for a fantastic homemade sandwich bread for FOREVER (or at least 4 years). It's been easy to find great recipes for eat-me-for-dinner-right-away-because-i-smell-so-good-and-delicious-but-don't-even-think-about-saving-me-for-the-morning-because-i'll-be-as-hard-as-pilgrims-rock bread. After Ian gave me my bread machine it was that much easier to make bread and I even found a recipe that worked well and didn't stale IMMEDIATELY.

Though I still craved the process of making bread. The smells in the kictchen as the yeast activates and the need to linger around the house for a whole morning to ensure its perfect execution. Well folks, I found the recipe and it's amazing and beautiful and tasted ridiculous. AND we're on the third day of it sitting out on the bread board, face down, soft and supple and just waiting to be sliced and devoured. (granted there's only a heel left)

Amish White Bread (from allrecipes.com)

• 2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
• 2/3 cup white sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons active dry yeast
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 6 cups bread flour

Directions

1. In a large bowl, dissolve the sugar in warm water, and then stir in yeast. Allow to proof until yeast resembles a creamy foam.
2. Mix salt and oil into the yeast. Mix in flour one cup at a time. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface until smooth. Place in a well oiled bowl, and turn dough to coat. Cover with a damp cloth. Allow to rise until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.
3. Punch dough down. Knead for a few minutes, and divide in half. Shape into loaves, and place into two well oiled 9x5 inch loaf pans. Allow to rise for 30 minutes, or until dough has risen 1 inch above pans.
4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 minutes.

Pretty right? and EASY, well for bread making at least. I used the dough hook on my kitchenaid to finish out the kneading and it worked so well. Plus I love that there's only 6 ingredients. The only thing I'll change next time is to tone down the sugar...it is a tidge on the sweet

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The other day Ainsley woke up from her nap as usual, on the cusp of TOTAL crank. I asked the usual "what would you like for snack?" and she answered by sulking into the kitchen, arms crossed like a p'od teenager to inspect the pantry. Moments later she RAN out, BEAMING SCREAMING "OATMEAL! Oh mama! Ainsley May wanna BIG bowl of oatmeal for snack. Yummy yumm yummy!" smiles smiles smiles. Oh goodness, the simple little things in life. That child LOVES oatmeal. She was freaking out ecstatic.

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Louise's new word is "uh oh!" I hesitate to say she's really "talking" because while she says about 5 "words" they're more like, ah, I recognize that as this word, than the real deal. In in almost toddler conniving testing the boundaries way she'll knock something over, throw her sippy cup with vigor or smack my face and look boldly into my eyes while distinctly saying "uh oh!" with the hugest grin imaginable. I secretly kind of love it.

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I'm getting better at this whole multitasking/housewife/mama/handyman thing. While we LOVE our house and are so lucky to have found one in Oak Park in as good of shape as we did, there is ALWAYS something that could be done. Most recently a small chunk of plaster on our sunporch ceiling was cracking and precariously close to separating and falling off completely. I was totally wigged out waiting for it to plummet and in the middle of afternoon playtime with BOTH girls lively and underfoot I moved to do something about it. I mixed up some patch, got out my drywall joint tape and fixed that crack, then proceeded to fix the gnarly patch above the staircase heading upstairs. It felt great to do it myself and Ainsley and Louise were captivated. Ainsley was my little helper, holding my bin of patch carefully and watching me intently. For Louise it was like the best show ever. It's always good to know that I can get something done that needs to be done while the girls are awake, and maybe they're learning something at the end of the day which is not at all a bad thing.

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I am LOVING the end of summer gardens. Lush and full and ripe. Except, my tomatoes are STILL green and the weeds are out of control and we already have leaved falling on half of our yard. My mind is already spinning to take advantage of end of year plant sales. Is it ok to plant perennials this late? What about bulbs? I am going for a very local low maintenance wild flower approach for next year. Any tips are helpful!

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Louise's first birthday is tomorrow. I truly can't fathom that she's going to be 1. I'll reflect more on that with all of the cute photos and tales from this next weekend. But the house is decorated, presents are wrapped, and her pink lady cake is cooling in the kitchen begging for it's cream cheese frosting tomorrow. We have a party planned and birthday outings to tend to. I can hardly wait to celebrate the first year of my little dumpling's life.

Summer's End

We're back from our last summer vacation of the season. It was glorious.

We had near perfect weather at the cabin. I was able to run nearly every day and spend lots of time outdoors with my girls. I waterskiied for the first time in nearly 3 years and my body remembered like it was yesterday. When a down moment in a cool morning presented itself we effortlessly filled time with sandbox play, swinging and berry picking. The girls both loved the lake and Ainsley swam in 25 foot deep water off the pontoon more than once. The shallow shores proved ideal for splashing and jumping the afternoons away.

Perhaps it's so magical because we only get a few quick weeks a year there, but man, in some moments I want to pick up and move on up to the northwoods. That is my kind of existence.

We are currently experiencing re-entry in all it's pent up too much vacation stress and away from normal routines glory. I am feeling completely overwhelmed with all that needs to get done this week. Restocking food and essentials in the house, cleaning and organizing, and on top of that preparing for Louise's first birthday weekend coming up.

The girls on the other hand are in a state of complete bliss. Ainsley ran into the house and immeditalye up to her big girl bed smiles abounding as she found all her her favorite things around the house. Sadly it's raining today so her desperation to get outside and ride her scoot bike will have to wait. Louise crawled and cruized and snuggled around her firmiliar space all evening, then went to bed without a peep.

The morning stress has given way to a slow calm peace. I know my friends won't mind a less than perfect house this weekend, as long as there's cupcakes right? In this moment I'm relishing in the firmiliarily and comfort of home and reliving all of the crazy love and joy of the past weeks.

Watching my biggest little sister, the last of my three, marry her love this weekend was beyond emotional. I welled up constantly watching the sparkle in their eyes as they held hands and basked in the warmth and hope of their promises to each other.

I'm a big fan of marriage. The party and the fun are almost reason enough, but the comittment in front of all the people that mean the most to you is an experience you never forget and keeps you going in those rough patches.

While Julie and Sim listened to wise words and made promises to each other I looked on with happiness and remembrance to my own husband, keeping the two girls in relatively quiet check while I balanced in my three inch red heels.

I've been hard on him the past few days, all that built up tiredness and stress of single parenting for two weeks pouring out on him. But he knows me well. He lets me vent, smiles, gives me the 5 minutes I need to realize how mostly unreasonable I'm being and is right there with me when my mood lightens and brightens.

That's marriage. After all the glitz and glam of the wedding we're left with each other, in each day, in each trying and glorious moment to grow and learn together. When life feels crazy stressful I try to keep my eye on that prize. I have him and we have each other, our family, just us and at the end of the day I just really want to enjoy this ride we're all on together.

Today I am thankful for early errands before the rain, a full fridge and pantry to knock that one off the crazy long list, the rain to help me forget my frantic need to GET IT ALL DONE NOW, my girls to remind me of how great it is to be home and of course Ian. Oh how I missed my boy.

Happy Tuesday!

Update from the Land of 10,000 Lakes

Here we are 10 days into our August Minnesota adventure. A great, active, beautiful week at the cabin behind us, two girls sick with fevers snoozing away the morning and a raucus celebratory wedding weekend in front of us.

Needless to say I am zonked. Thankfully the girls have done so well, sleeping beautifully (execpt for last night's fever induced sleeplessness), loving on family and activity and good old Minnesota fun.

We so miss Ian though. Ainsley snuggles with his t-shirt every night and I've been caught burrying my own face in it more than once just for a quick bit of comfort. Louise has cooed and cried countless "dadada's" and "daaaddddeee's". We sure miss the man in our lives.

It's funny. I used to so long for these neverending vacations, familiar faces and places. While I still look forward to these trips "home" I find I miss my new home more quickly and fervently then I used to. It's hard to be away from a place and a person we so love.

Today I am thankful for helping hands with my sick girls. I hope for their fevers to break, sleep to come and the strength to get through another long night alone if need be. I eagerly anticipate Ian's arrival on Saturday, so crave that strong embrace and comfort that I've been missing. I can't wait for my sister's wedding to a great guy. What fun we're all going to have. I even look forward to packing the car Monday morning and heading home. For now when I'm away I truly know that it is indeed home.