My Weekend with Louise

I have no creative title for this post. No witty alliterations or anecdotes. Just bursting love and appreciation for three solid days with my sweet Louise abounding in words and photos.

I wasn't sure about this weekend. It came upon me so suddenly and unexpectedly. Initially I was sad to be without my other halves. I missed tucking Ainsley into bed and kissing Ian goodnight.

Rather than let the loneliness and missing-them consume me I let go and focused on this precious time with my big growing baby girl. I can't put into words what this weekend has meant for me, but of course I'm going to try.

I so needed this alone time with my baby, before she's not one anymore. All too soon she'll be crawling and walking and talking and running. All too soon she'll have opinions and ideas, a voice and a need to be heard.

This weekend was so quiet and fun and simple. We lounged and played on the floor, did tons of errands, laughed and tickled and babbled. I took tons of little videos and pictures, trying to capture this perfect weekend that we had, and this perfect age that Louise is in.

Last night there was a tornado watch in Chicago until 1am. I didn't want to stay up to keep up on the weather updates so I put a flashlight next to my bed and tried to go to sleep early. I was restless and anxious. I tiptoed into Louise's room, cradled her sweet sleeping baby body in my arms and glided back to bed. I just watched her sleep for what felt like forever, until I finally drifted off. We both stirred about 6am, Louise grinning and babbling, me in awe of this beautiful baby girl in my bed.

This weekend has been an unexpected treat and truth be told I'm sad to see it end.

I have been sad off and on this weekend, not from missing Them, but because Louise is at the exact age that I totally missed out on with Ainsley. Ainsley NEVER sat in one spot and just played calmly, she NEVER was without a pacifier to keep her from screaming in public. She NEVER stopped moving. Being with Louise, totally and completely, at this age reminds me of how hard it was with Ainsley and how I wish i could go back with the patience that I have learned, that she has taught me, and do it over again.

But I can't. So I can start fresh today, in an hour or so actually, when Ian and Ainsley drive up and unload and Ian skirts off to a half day of work. I can accept the active, strong willed child that I have and engage her and love her and let her be who she is.

Perhaps this is why we have more than one child. To give us perspective. Ainsley and Louise are so different and wonderful in their own ways. I have been blessed with two amazing children. This weekend was just what I needed to remind myself of how much I love them both and my husband and our crazy, rambunctious, full life together.

Welcome back Ainsley and Ian! and thank you Louise, for one of the best weekends ever.

So Dang Easy

I know that I am at risk of prematurely spoiling this amazing gift of a weekend, but Louise went to bed at 6:30 and I don't know what else to do with myself.

This morning we errand-ed. Louise sat happily in her front facing sling position and charmed the pants off of everyone we encountered as per usual. I got Easter stuff, I browsed and meandered isles, I got TWO whole naps to myself for uber productivity and ended the day with my little love bug and a bath. Could life get any sweeter?

When Ian called me Thursday morning for the "heads up" that he was thinking about taking Ainsley to MN for the weekend to visit his newly recovering father (so thankful that prayers were answered and Dan is on the mend) I had two paths to choose. My typical freak-out-about-last-minute-HUGE-change-of-plans-and-PANIC or pack the bags just in case and relish in the hope of a quiet weekend with Louise. While I did tear up when Ian pulled out with my #1 gal I straightened my shoulders, took a big breath and man it's been great.

I've often thought "if I knew then what I knew now" and now I get to actually do it, not to mention Louise is 10 times calmer than Ainsley was at this age (can we just mention that Ainsley was speed crawling and pulling herself to stand at 7 months old...thank you Louise, again and again). It's amazing how easy it is to be a mom of one for a change. Seriously, everything is SO EASY. (Not to knock those moms-of-one out there, I was there and it WAS NOT easy). But now I know things. I'm calmer. I've got it down and it's good.

And aside from all the crazy freedom I've been allotted the past 24 hours, I LOVE having so much one on one time with Louise. After our busy morning I fed her and put her down for nap #2. When she woke up smiling and giggling and ready to play I didn't have to plunk her in her play center or the sling so that I could tend to Ainsley. I got to play with my baby. We giggled and kissed (she gives kisses now! and reaches for me too!!) and laughed. She LOVES to empty out containers one by one so I spent most of the afternoon filling and refilling receptacles for my nimble fingered gal and watching her concentration and delight as she emptied them every time.

Photo taken with my ipod touch

The transition from new little love bug to big baby girl seemed to happen overnight. Louise is now in that stage where you lay her down in one place and she's across the room by the time you turn your back. No crawling (thank the Lord) but scooting and stretching and rolling rolling rolling. She'll often lunge for things while sitting up sacrificing herself to get the desired object. She loves to be tickled and moderately frightened and if you make eye contact with her she'll flash her big (now toothy) grin.

I was looking back at posts the other night and realized that I write mostly about Ainsley. I love that girl but man does she take up my energy and mental space. It's been wonderful to focus fully on my dumpling, while always thinking of Ainsley and her dad having a blast in MN of course. It's weird not having us all together saying good morning and goodnight to Ainsley via facetime, but truth be told it's been a welcome break.

Tomorrow I'm thinking lunch out and a little more browsing, just because I can and it's SO DANG EASY!

Reboot

Today I am smitten.

After a really rough yesterday I resolved, once again, to reboot. This cycle that Ainsley and I have fallen into of good and bad days rotating and flipping is something that I'm realizing I have to accept rather than fight. Yesterday as she requested yet again to laze about I caught myself. Why am I letting my 2 year old dictate our life?

New babies of course dictate EVERYTHING. You form your life around their needs, their schedule. But when do we cut the cord? I decided it was yesterday.

Despite Ainsley's small, easily cured, fever I decided we needed a fresh start today. "Here's what we're doing and here's how it's going to go".

We hopped in the car and took a small adventure this morning. We drove north to a park I've often meant to visit, just out of walking, or jogging, reach.

It was great. Big open running spaces, paths to follow and meander on. A good old fashioned tire swing and metal slide. Ainsley loved it.

After realizing that 47 degrees didn't feel as warm as I thought it would we revamped. "Change of plans" I calmly stated. Ainsley fussed a bit "more play at the park mama" but I just charged ahead with a squirming toddler on my hip and Louise in the Bob.

We circled around looking for the small branch library that we'd visited once before babies were born but I couldn't remember the cross street. Reboot again. We parked and walked to the "big one library" and stumbled across the 2 year old story time slotted to start in 10 minutes. Talk about serendipity.

Ainsley was as calm and attentive as I'd ever seen her. Before entering the library we reviewed library protocol "no runnin away mama, real quiet, no runnin away". You know what? She listened.
For the first time EVER at the library I didn't have to chase Ainsley around once. I sat still and calm with happy Louise on my lap as my big 2 year old girl listened attentively to the stories, sang along with the songs, and did the hand motions and stomping like nobody's business. We picked out 9, yes NINE, books together, came home and read every one. We ended the morning with butterfly cream cheese sandwiches (such a cute toddler finger food project) and more storied before nap.

Just yesterday I was wanting to throw in the towel. Convinced again that my words weren't working, that she wasn't listening or caring.

Turns out it's all sinking in, slowly but surely and my little toddler is growing up into a lovely little lady.

Sometimes I have to catch myself and remind myself that I am the parent. I make the rules and as overwhelming as it is to be "in charge" it's empowering too. Yet again a day is what I make it, what I set out for it to be.

Today is gray and yuck and chilly but we had a great morning anyways.

Not So Happy Hump Day

Louise was up 3 times last night, Ainsley once...an all time record for both I'm afraid. I fear we're all coming down with something. Ainsley's extra snuggles and whiny disposition can only mean an oncoming sickness right?

This morning has been extra rough. Louise is down for a nap and I'm struggling with whether to wake her up to go to musikgarten or reschedule for a later date when we're all feeling up to the effort. I am so craving companionship with my music class mamas. We'll have to see how the next half hour pans out.

In an effort to stave off the gloom that this day has already brought I thought I'd share some snapshots from our past two wonderful days.

This photo was cute until Ainsley squirmed away

New sunhats from the Anways...Ainsley LOVES the matchy matchy.

Spring window art...window crayons are the BEST

The many faces of Louis-e-bean

aka

the problem with digital cameras...WAY too many cute photos to chose from

See the teeth?

My personal favorite

Spring sweaters in action, and sand EVERYWHERE

Afternoon update:

Ainsley did in deed have a fever...100.3. After a morning of lounging and a half dose of Ibuprofen she's sleeping soundly upstairs and most definitely on the mend.

I am hoping she wakes up happy and ready to have some fun because I am feeling quite cobwebby and in need of some fresh air this afternoon.

I've decided that spring is a total tease, especially after a week in the tropics. The temp is just cool enough that about a half hour is all we can do outside without frozen fingers and toes and the sun just doesn't want to peek through for good. I am desperate to just get out and have some good old fashioned backyard fun.

Soon please!

Smatterings of a Housewifey Persuasion

I am impressed thus far with the ease of re-entry from our spring break. It was a bit rough to get back to the swing of things after Christmas, perhaps because of the long cold winter ahead, but in spring it is different. There is sun, warmth, hope, and energy. I may have to rethink my favorite season.

I made a list of things to get done and put it on the fridge yesterday in hopes that it would then be out of my head and my hands for both Ian and I to conquer at our will, and when time, toddler, and baby allows. As of an hour ago about half of the things are crossed off...go us!

To start there is a fresh coat of paint in the basement and homemade (aka wonky) curtains on the windows. A certain sister in law and best friend and sister coming to visit soon may have spurred this on, but it's been on my list since BEFORE Louise was born and feels SO good to get done.

Ainsley and I planted our sprouted sunflowers yesterday. She stepped on some, and others snapped in the transfer but I'm still holding out for visions of a sunflower "fence" and hut for Ainsley along the side of our yard.

Just this morning we planted the rest of our seeds in hopes to sprout our own organic plants and save oodles on both planting and produce this summer. We planted tomatoes, basil, parsley, cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, and calendula flowers. I hope some of them take!

I got my "directions" for sprouting from my new favorite book How to Sew a Button. All you need are some dixie cups with holes poked in the bottom for drainage, potting soil, seeds, water, saran wrap and a fridge. After planting the seeds, water them well, place cups on a baking sheeter, cover with saran wrap and place on top of the frige. Check them in a week to see if they need more water and in a few weeks you should have sprouts! Worked like a charm for the sunflower seeds and WAY less expensive than buying lights and tables for basement sprouting.

I've delved back into cooking which feels extra great after a week of nummy take out and others at the grill. Of course baking is always a top priority and I've been meaning to share my new FAVORITE cookie recipe for quite some time.

If you are as obsessed with/addicted to chocolate chip cookies as I am you HAVE to try this recipe. It's from the book Cookies! by Pippa Cuthbert & Lindsay Cameron Wilson. It's a chocolate chip cookie bar with very few ingredients. The secret is beating the butter and sugar together for at least 5 minutes and voila! perfect chunky bar cookies. Seriously, just make them and you'll know what I mean.

For breakfast this morning I tried my hand at a Dutch Baby pancake. Ainsley helped with the dumping of ingredients and was very excited to eat her "baby pancake mama" all morning long. It comes out puffy and light and settles into an almost custardy texture. Sprinkled with fresh lemon juice and powdered sugar it was quite the treat this morning. I got the recipe from an episode of cooks counntry. If you're interested let me know and I'll write it out for you.

I had posted a few weeks ago about casseroles and had some interest in recipes so I thought I'd share some go to's with ya'll (I'm watching way too much Paula Deen, CLEARLY). One of our favorites is Chicken Wild Rice Casserole. It's super simple and REALLY delicious in hot or cool weather. I have started half cooking the wild rice before adding it to the recipe because I find it never quite bakes all the way through otherwise.

Wild Rice Casserole

1 cup wild rice, well rinsed

1.5 cups boiling beef broth

1 cup cubed cheese

1 cup cubed cooked chicken (I use canned) *optional

1 can diced tomatoes with juice

1 diced onion

a few Tablespoons olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

1 cup chopped mushrooms *optional

bake at 350 for 1.5 hours uncovered

I'm still trying out recipes from my new cookbook The Art of Simple Food and will be sure to post the winners. We've been doing lots of square meals at our house lately with the amazing fish and chicken I got on mega sale at Whole Foods on Friday. I'll be delving into the freezer later this week so I should have some new recipes to share after my next grocery run later this week.

I am thankful for family and friends coming to visit and stay with us soon, GREAT company lined up for Easter, our comfy home and the energy to tackle spring cleaning. (I'm going to try out the baking soda/white vinegar only method this year and I'll let you know how it goes!)

Ainsley is napping while I write this but here's a glimpse of my dumpling. We say "she's the cutest baby in the world" at least 12 times a day. To us, she sure is.

Things Loved in March

1. UB2 (Urban Baby Bonnet)

We all knew this would be #1 this month. Seriously. If you have a daughter or know a little girl with a head that needs covering this summer I can't say enough good things about this bonnet and the creator Collette on etsy. You're supporting an artist and keeping a baby's head sun shaded and warm. I only wish it was appropriate for me to wear one. Lucky Louise.

2. The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters

I am in love with this new cookbook I bought with amazon birthday money (thanks mom and dad!). I've been cooking for most of my life, every day since we've been married and this lady has some tricks up her sleeve that I've never heard of. Simple recipes for marinades and sauces and my FAVORITE, a list of pantry staples and food to make with them, so helpful in a pinch.

3. Badger Sunscreen

While we did resort to Target Brand baby SPF50 for Ainsley's red arms in Florida this stuff stood up to the really well. It's all natural which I love especially for Louise who immediately starts to gnaw on her newly sunscreened arms and hands. It smells nice and lasts long. Can't wait to use it more this summer.

4. Weleda Baby Diaper Cream

Poor Louise had a rash she just couldn't shake after wearing disposables at Christmas and this was the only cream that finally got the last of it. If you've ever used Weleda you know how amazing all of their stuff is and the diaper cream is no exception.
5. Gap Perfect Boot Jeans

I was significantly depressed after going to shop post having Louise for new jeans. Granted I went WAY too soon after giving birth but even so I was appalled by how tight everything fit, no matter what size I seemed to get. I went last month and slid right into my old size in these jeans, with some room to spare! The double button is great for new(er) moms with that lovely extra skin/chub that seems to hang around forever. I may have to get at least one more pair of these.

A Breath of Fresh Air

And so we return. Our trip was AMAZING. Active, lazy, full, and slow all at once. It was EXACTLY what we all needed after this long winter.

:: "We going a Flowda Mama!!!" We sure are Ainsley::

The weather was immaculate. Hot and sticky. Sunny and breezy. We played and ate hard. Slept soundly (even with all 4 of us bunking together for the first time). It was grand.

::my little fashionista::

Ainsley loved the water just as much, if not more, than last year. She tromped through the waves, only stopping when Ian and I would swoop her up when she was up to her neck. She walked boldly to the sandbar, raked and scooped sand galore, and investigated every shell she could get her hands on.

::Louise was not going to miss out on all the sand fun::

Having cousin Connor to play with was such a joy. He and Ainsley are best pals when they're together. Laughing, eating, playing and tantruming in sync. He loves "baby Weez" and she sure thinks her big boy cousin is cute.

::who needs words when you have a picture like this?::

We tried to instill some basic swimming knowledge on our little water worm who jumps into the pool with no one there to catch her, runs to the deep end and willingly dunks her head under. She can now blow bubbles, jump in without assistance (with floaties), kick and move those little arms in syncing circles to swim the pool from end to end. We're pretty proud.

Miss Louisey Bean couldn't have done better. She slept like a champ, napping 3-4 hours a day in the shade of the pool cabana with the ocean breeze at her back. She loved the pool, not so much the float, but being held. She'd scoot her little bum off the edge to "jump" in her own baby way. That dumpling surprises and delights us every day.

We got it all done. Ice Cream at Pinocchio's, Gramma Dots fried grouper sandwiches, key lime pie, Key West beer, fresh Florida grapefruit, Farmer's market BBQ and lots of pool side lunches. Bike rides around the Island, mornings at the pool and afternoons by the beach. Now that was the life.

::traditional Florida double sink baths, so fun and efficient too::

Ian and I even got a date night. We enjoyed two beers a piece and good island bar food at the Lazy Flamingo. We chatted like we were back in college when we were first dating when we could have stayed up all night talking, and sometimes did. Like we didn't have babies to get back to, like we had all the time in the world. I love that boy.

::"cheers-ing" their famer's market strawberries::

we also ate mini donuts and cupcakes...best farmer's market EVER!

We talked about life, parenting, the future. We are in such a good place. Really settling into ourselves, our marriage, our growing family. Life is comfortable and good. Right now in this moment I have everything that I could ever want. I am the luckiest.

This vacation is such a unique one because it's not just about us, or the place, but family too. It's a reunion of the Sullivan clan. People know us down there. They know we're some of them. It's great to feel like a part of something big and traditional.

::Louise was pretty excited about Connor's birthday cake. Who am I kidding, she smiles like this ALL THE TIME!::

A new tradition is celebrating Connor's birthday. We missed it by days last year and I was happy to get to partake in the festivities this year. He did so well sharing his new toys with Ainsley and I was amazed at Ainsley's patience and restraint when he was opening gifts. She sang happy birthday OVER AND OVER to him and when he wasn't listening she'd physically turn his head to make sure he was looking at her. Oh how I wish I'd gotten a video of that.

::My big growing girl::

We ended the week with a pool side must-go BBQ with the whole clan (minus Julie and Jenny and Joe who had already departed paradise). The kids adorned handmade matching Grammy originals. Ainsley felt so pretty that she sat still for 5 whole minutes while I double french braided her hair for the very first time. I will cherish those dresses forever.

Even the 80 minute flight delay on the trip home and Ian's terrible airsicknesses thanks to some rockin' departure turbulence couldn't put a damper on the trip. It was just long enough. I feel refreshed and renewed with enough energy to left to come home do the mass amounts of laundry and grocery shopping/cooking needed to get through one more day until a quiet weekend with my favorite three people.

Thank you Florida. Until we meet again...adieu.