Family Time

This weekend has been great. I've woken up happy both mornings (rare for me unfortunately), baked a TON, and gotten most things around the house taken care of with some time to relax on the side.

This morning we went to the Garfield Conservatory as a family. Not a big outing by any means, but an outing all the same. It took Ian a solid hour of convincing to get me to go. I surprise myself sometimes by how reclusive I can get, especially in the winter.

I see the weekends as "get things done" time and Ian sees them as "do stuff as a family" time. Somehow in my world I am convinced that we can't do both, the two can't coexist. Ian is out to prove me wrong and this morning he did.

While he watched Ainsley and Louise napped I washed two more loads of laundry (Ainsley had her first accident in bed this morning and was VERY upset about it, we've since recovered), cleaned the upstairs bathroom and put away the 4 loads of laundry that I did on Friday. After getting up with the girls at 6:15 and simultaneously finishing the orange rolls I made last night (turned out ok, not as orange-y as I would have liked) I was TIRED! I was kind of looking forward to just hanging out while Ian took Ainsley to the conservatory. I could have cleaned the powder room without Ainsley underfoot and then done an exercise tape in the peace and quiet.

But when Ian pleaded with those wise steel blue eyes I had to cave. He's right. (I know, right?) Family time should trump just about anything. When I look back at our daughters' young days I won't (hopefully) dwell on the weekend mornings spent cleaning and organizing, but cherish our family time. Dance parties every weekday night and short walks outside are fun, but going someplace, even close and for a short time, is a good thing.

I am of course glad that I went. It was fun to have Louise in the front pack and get to hold her hands while Ian chased after Ainsley. Louise loved the light, the warm tropical feel of the air, and touching every leaf and mossy stone she could get her chubby little hands on. It was fun to see how Ian and Ainsley spend quality time.

I told Ian just to give me more of a heads up next time so I won't come home to overly cooked bread in the bread maker (it collapsed anyways, so I guess it didn't matter). In any case, it was totally worth it.

The Beauty of Daddy Daughter Dates

Ian is out on his weekly outing with Ainsley. Today they are taking the train downtown to the children's museum. I love these mornings for so many reasons.

1. Now that Louise naps so well in the morning I get time to myself. Yes, TIME TO MYSELF. I have learned not to use this time to cook, clean, exercise, or do anything else "unfun". This is my time just to sit, yes SIT, relax, and enjoy the peace and quiet.

2. Ainsley loves these daddy daughter dates. It's so great for them to have time just the two of them, and so fun for me to have some one on one time with Louise when she's up and they're still out and about.

3. Ian does things with Ainsley that I would never attempt. He's a brave man. Taking a newly potty trained toddler 45 minutes on the train and bus both ways? More power to him.

4. It makes me such a happier mom and wife to get to start my weekend all relaxed. Here I sit with my second cup of coffee, a full belly of waffles and orange juice, a relatively clean house (I did laundry yesterday to encourage the relaxing weekend) sun shining through the windows and the snow slowly melting in the almost above freezing temps. It's a good morning.

P.S. I also have time alone with Ainsley. For instance last night after dinner we did an impromptu grocery run for some eggs and other necessities for the weekend. She proudly held the coffee she helped me pick out and on the way home I caught her stuffing her hand in the bag and then smelling her hand "mmm COFFEE!". May have to get some cheap coffee for her new sensory.

P. P. S. I also just scored a patagonia fleece jacket for Louise at REI.com for under $20! So excited to see her in it this spring.

So pretty much, it's looking like a good day.

Remnants of a Day

Usually I start a post with words, thoughts that I've thought, struggles I am facing. Today I start with photos. Lots and lots of photos.

The thought struck me while I was in the shower yesterday (or was it two days ago...ick for not knowing). I noticed the plethora of cleaning products in our cluttered tub and was randomly reminded of a freshman seminar that I took while attending IU for a semester. (stay with me here) It was all about cultures. Our job was to take one seemingly inane piece of information about a culture (i.e. how they punish criminals) and from that decipher other characteristics of the culture.

It seemed bizarre, still seems hard to explain, but I loved it. To me it boiled down to this: snippets of our lives tell so much about who we are. What shampoo we buy (whatever's on sale for Ian and I, whatever natural stuff is on sale for the girls) the way we keep our house (cluttered but "clean") our favorite things (so many) tell so much about who we are. So here is my life, today, in photos, pieces, and remnants.

Can you figure out who I am?

::one of my favorite spots, music splayed, chair open and ready::

::a treasured piece, a receptacle all mine, filled with soft yarn, unfinished projects, and crafty inspirations (thank again Ruth!)::

::a favorite quilt (I won the fight with Ian over which one to get), kindle on the bedstand (recently downloaded The Art of Racing in the Rain, sad but good), leftover rug from the nursery, sweater box under the bed exposed as Ainsley's stepstool up to "mommydaddybed", headboard passed down from my parents::

::typical state of our powder room after a full morning::

::playroom aka disaster area of fun::

::one of my favorite views in our house. Every time I look in our kitchen this is what I see. Hard work and love made it this way::

::our "entryway" (laughing as I type) figuring out how to arrange our living room so it was functional was quite the feat when we first moved in. We forwent the feng shui for the functionality. I'm ok with that::

::aftermath of the morning...I didn't mind it so much today (hard to when it's result was the girls allowing me to do a full workout tape while they played)::

::aftermath continued...(that's Selling New York on in the background, a guilty naptime pleasure of mine)::

::Ainsley brushing her teeth in our teeny tiny bathroom, feet clinging to the side of the toilet as a stepstool to the sink...she refuses to use the actual stepstool I got her::

::the inspirational image, what's in your shower? (p.s. that lavender oil from TJs is my fav for dry winter skin)::

::the view I get (well used to get) every night while nursing Louise back to sleep, I kind of miss it::

::color coded bookshelf, completely ridiculous, but I love it::

::Ainsley's haven::

::Ian's playful artwork above Ainsley's bed (really, if this whole neuroscience thing doesn't pan out, he totally has a career in illustration, don't you think?)::

::a fuzzy glance::

::singing to me while I took photos of her room::

::shelf in Ainsley's room, I got that print (the print says, a book in hand is like a garden in the pocket) from the publishing house I worked at my senior year of college and have been searching for a place for it since our first apartment, even though she can't read and probably doesn't notice it's there, I secrectly hope that it's rubbing off on her ::

So there we are. This is obviously not a full or exhaustive list by any means. It's what I could get my hands (or camera I guess) on today. I hope you enjoyed, and learned a little more about me, my family, and my life.

Things Loved in January

Better late than never!

1. Sigg bottle

These were on sale at Whole foods a few weeks back and while I thought it would be one of those "impractical but oh so cute" purchases for Ainsley it's my new favorite cup of hers. It does not spill at ALL in my bag (which is the first one EVER not to do so) and super cute to boot. The sports top not only works well for her little mouth but provides solid minutes of entertainment for her. I love it!

2. Sophie

Apparently everyone and their friends has this toy for their baby but it's new to us. We didn't have one with Ainsley and I didn't really pull it out until a month or so ago for Louise. She LOVES this thing. The primal look that she gets on her face as she devours it is amazingly entertaining and the squeak is a sure bet to calm her down or distract her if need be.

3. Baby Food Maker

My mom got this for me as my first mother's day gift when Ainsley was a baby and I've rekindled my love for it since. It makes cooking and clean up of homemade baby food so easy. I would definitely recommend registering for this bad boy if you get the chance.

4. Sunbeam Bread Maker

I may have put this on a previous "things loved" list but it deserves another slot. I make bread in it every 3-4 days and we haven't bought a loaf of bread in goodness knows how long thanks to it. I finally figured out that if I actually follow the directions in the pamphlet it turns out perfect everytime (I know you're chuckling mom, I did learn eventually! :o)

5. Petite Purls

My new favorite FREE knitting website. I've made both of the girls spring/summer cardigans from patterns I found here and despite a few interesting directions (par for the course with self written directions I guess) I'm hooked.

6. Food/Budget/Cooking

I could EASILY spend upwards of $150 a week on groceries. Aside from the fact that Food Inc is always in the back of my mind, I love to cook, try new (albeit overly complex) recipes and keep a well stocked fridge and pantry. After struggling for months and months with staying on our food budget I decided I needed a new tactic. Another blogger that I follow mentioned how well it worked for her to have a monthly, rather ran weekly food budget. I thought I'd try it.

If you have kids, or like to shop sales and in bulk it makes it very hard to have the same budget week to week. I'd spend $50 one week on perishables and $150 the next to stock back up on meat and pantry stuff. It would totally throw me for the rest of the month, thinking I was WAY off already so why keep track? Bad idea.

Now I have a monthly budget and when it's gone it's gone. (Except milk, eggs, and cheese...we will ALWAYS have that) It helps me to write down at the end of each day what we've spent (most days it's nothing!) and then I know what we're working with at any given moment. So far it's been working really well and it's made me feel more free to go out more often for littler food errands as opposed to one HUGE one each week (also easier on my back and arms with all that grocery and child lifting).

Refocusing

I've started, and subsequently abandoned, numerous posts this weekend. I have lots of snippets of thoughts and ponderings that I'm desperate to work through. Alas my mind feels muddled and slow, even after a relatively restful weekend.

Upon returning home after a great Christmas and undoing the decorations I had an epiphany. Christmas should be at the END of winter, not the beginning. There's all this build up for a few short weeks and then its over, left in its wake a LONG COLD CABIN FEVER winter. It's really starting to wear on me.

Right now the snow is too deep for Ainsley to have much fun in and the walks are too slippery to go far (and too narrow to fit the Bob for that matter). I'm determined to get out tomorrow for story time (despite the -5 windchill) and Musikgarten on Wednesday.

I just feel like lately, even when I'm at my best, it's not enough for Ainsley. I am more and more thrilled at our decision to have two children so close together when I think of the playmates Ainsley and Louise will become for each other. This morning Ian brought them both down to let me sleep in a bit and relayed how adorable Ainsley was with Louise. She wanted to snuggle with her ("YaWeez sit right HERE!") as they sat and watched Mr Rogers as a family. Ah, my girls.

Ian and I have been talking about preschool for Ainsley lately. We had always planned on sending her to preschool this next fall for 2 days a week (when she's two and a half) but now that it's getting closer, my sentiment is changing.

She is getting SO big so fast. She is now officially 100% potty trained (makes it through naps and nights like a champ!) talks in full sentences (ALL DAY LONG - NONSTOP!) plays pretend, points out colors and shapes (just for fun), sings full songs, makes up her own songs, sits calmly for time outs (when they are needed which is much more rarely) and is such a helper with household chores (she sets the table every night, sings the clean up song when she cleans up her toys, and helps with laundry) and her little sister. Adding preschool to that mix is starting to feel like too much too soon.

These first few years are so precious. We will never have them again. Once Ainsley starts school, that's it. Our routine changes, for Louise and any subsequent children as well. Our lazy snuggly mornings will become a bustle of activity. My priority to shower and put on real clothes will become more of a necessity than a luxury. My baby, my little tootie, will be a big grown up girl, with a backpack and snacks and friends and stories about her day that I have no part of. I don't know that I'm ready for that.

But is she ready? Sure. Despite disliking the nursery at our church VERY much (we've only tried occassionally) I guess I don't have much to compare it to. She's never REALLY been away from me and I'm sure whenever we do decide to go ahead with preschool it will be an adjustment, and maybe a struggle. I'm not so worried about that.

On one hand I don't want to be viewed as a parent that dropped the ball and didn't give my child all that they needed to get a good start in life, on the other I know that maybe the best start is here at home with the simplicity of our lives for as long as I can give that to her.

I just feel like she has the rest of her life to go to school, make all kinds of friends, and start her own "thing" outside of our home. This last year with us is just that, her last year. I kind of want to cherish it while we can.

As Ian points out, neither of us were away from home for the first few years of our lives. We both started preschool at 3, most kids I knew only had one year of preschool before kindergarten. I just feel like the world has changed so much since then. There is so much pressure to get your child active so early. I think there's something to be said for simplifying (there I go again) and cherishing these precious young years without the inevitable hustle and bustle of youth.

I am almost thankful now to be able to be snowed in this winter. To explore our (still relatively new) house and community from the inside out. I know one day all too soon I'll look back at these days and wonder where the time went. I guess I should enjoy it while I have it!

Just an Update

Nothing fancy here today. No metaphors or clever language. I am WIPED.

It's been a long week what with the colossal snow fall on Wednesday, subsequent digging out of the said snowfall and Ian's debilitating cold to boot. While he has still been as helpful as he could be I feel like I've been solo parenting two housebound girls for 3 days. (Ian is currently on a walk with Ainsley to the conservatory and local market - TOTALLY making up for it).

Being inside for so long has really stretched my creative limits with activities for Ainsley. Most days we at least get out ONCE to do an errand or putz around in the library. Yesterday I'd had enough and even though the wind chill read -5 I bundled them up and went outside for a walk. Ainsley lolly gagged up and down the sidewalk, stopping every so often to pick up a "ball snow" and sit in the 2 foot snow banks. I pushed her on the swing at the park and when Louise's cheeks got almost too red we lumbered home. What a glorious 15 minutes of fresh crisp air and vitamin D.

For the most part it's been good. We've been working on Valentines, taking long baths during the day, playing endlessly with rice and water, coloring, building homes for Ainsley's weebles (and Louise at one point too) with blocks, serving food in her kitchen in the basement and caring for her many babies. We've had spontaneous dance parties almost hourly, baked lots and eaten more (why is it that eating is the default activity in winter?)

I've been focusing so much on keeping the girls happy during the day that my "free time" after they go to bed has lately been spent folding laundry, cleaning and then ZONKING out. I'm so thankful for two good sleepers lately.

Ainsley's potty training continues to be a success. Two weeks in we've graduated to underpants at naptime and barring a few more nights of dry diapers we're going to go full time. It's been days since she's had an accident and is SO proud. I am so thankful to have this under our belt. How bizarre (and AMAZING) it's going to be to go to Florida next month with no diapers for her!

We've stopped giving Louise solid food this week. The past few times she's completely refused and I'm tired of wasting it. We'll try again in a few weeks! (She's definitely eating more though, I'm finding I'm FAMISHED if I don't eat something every couple of hours and need to guzzle water all day to keep up with her demand).

I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend but hoping the snow melts enough that we can enjoy some more outdoors time soon. I'm already over winter! (I never thought I'd be one of "those" adults)

Enjoy superbowl sunday...we'll be a divided house tomorrow (although truth be told neither of us care too much who wins), with the game on in the background and the normal toddler chatter (it's CONSTANT now) and chaos in the forefront.

::on our aimless walk::

::ball snow::

:post nap, for both of us can you tell?::

::playing the piano after dinner as per usual these days::

::Louise's new HUGE pacifier::

::morning exercises watching Mr Rogers::

::in case you can't tell what's going on in this photo, Ainsley is on the potty "reading" on my ipod, wonder where she learned that from?::

SnOMG 2.1.11-2.2.11

I've both loved and loathed the past two days.

I loved having Ian home early yesterday just inching out the blizzard's onset at 2pm. I loved hunkering down in our house with a fresh batch of pumpkin chocolate chip muffins in the oven, wafting good comforting smells through our 75 degree home (I was paranoid that the power and by extension HEAT would go out so I jacked up the temp in the event that it did). I loved, at first, watching the windy snow fall feeling thankful for our safe warm home, and each others' company.

Around 7 pm I started not loving it so much, the blizzard that is. The wind's howl was unlike anything I've heard. I kept obsessively checking the weather reports online and on tv hoping that we were through the worst (we were ALWAYS right in the thick of it). I skipped bookclub because the thought of leaving my safe haven, even for a 1/2 block sojourn seemed crazy hard. I felt trapped and panicked. I kept hearing creaks in our old house, slowly convincing me that the roof was going to cave in on us. At one point the lights flickered and my hear sunk. Here we go. My mind left me "No power, downed lines, two tiny girls totally dependent on us to keep them safe and fed and WARM! who knows how long it would take to get fixed".

Thank God for Ian.

He truly is my rock. Last night in the midst of my panic and sleeplessness I rolled over and looked into his calm eyes, snuggled into his safe chest and laughed out "how does this work?" meaning us of course. While I lay awake paralyzed with fear Ian opened our bedroom blinds to marvel at the power of the storm. "This is awesome" he said. When I snapped "how can you not be worried!" he calmly replied "I'll worry when I need to."

We really couldn't be more different sometimes.

While his sentiment didn't rub off entirely (I still couldn't get to sleep until exhaustion hit at 2am) I get his point. Why waste a perfectly good snow day (and night!) worrying and scurrying when, as it turns out, the power did NOT go off, the roof did NOT cave in and here we are all safe and sound and snowed in on the other side (with bellies full of homemade calzone and brownies to boot!)

We spent the day taking turns digging out from the 2 feet of snow encapsulating us. We can now get both cars out (in theory) and walk out the front door. The back porch to the garage is another story entirely. We both hit our limit at an hour of shoveling each. I'll be lucky if I can move tomorrow. Poor Ian is under the weather with a terrible cold and didn't complain once.

It's times like these when I know why I married him all over again. We are such a good team. I get over prepared (There is a 5 gallon pail of water sitting in our powder room "just in case") and Ian has the level head. There's no one else I'd rather be snowed in with. (And Ainsley running around screaming "Mommy, can't hear you!" and Louise babbling away aren't so bad either).

A few photo nuggets of our snow day(s)

::Must be a little under the weather still, so snuggly post-nap::

::"Umm, Hey!"::

::Always a dance party::

::All smiles, as per usual :o)::

::If you look closely there's a little girl in the window DESPERATE to get out in that knee deep (shoulder deep on her) snow::

::Operation DIG US OUT take 1! (of 3)::

::No, our neighbor did NOT offer to use that glorious snow plow on our driveway, I must have looked more capable than I was::

::plowed out, dark, calm, still pretty darn snowed in and beautiful::